laxatives and bed-sheats

Discussion in 'Blue Jokes' started by bobthebrit, Sep 13, 2010.

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  1. a man goes to see his doctor because he is having a great problem taking a shite
    "doctor i haven't been able to sh*t in FIVE days! I've tried all sorts of laxatives but they just don't work for me"

    the doctor agrees this is quite severe, but assures the man there is hope yet

    "a new laxative just came on the market" the doctor tells him

    "but i must warn you, it is very strong and has possible dangerous side affects. because of this you will have to spend the night in hospital just to be sure you are too badly affected by it"

    the man agrees as he just wants to be able to sh*t again
    so the doctor calls in a nurse to take him to a room for the night.

    in walks the most gorgeous women ever. blonde hair, huge breasts, real fit body, the man is head over heels.

    so the nurse takes him to his room on the fifth floor for the night and once he is settled, leaves the room.

    the man falls into a deep sleep after taking the potent laxative only to awake five hours later to find he has sh*t himself severly and it's all over the perfectly white bed sheets.

    the man doesn't want the beautiful nurse to see him like this so he quickly bundles up the white bed sheets and tosses them out the fifth floor window.

    straight below, two homeless oldmen are fast asleep until the sh*t covered blankets land on the one homeless person.

    there is a great scuffle and lots of noise and when it settles the other homeless person turns to his friend, covered in sh*t, and asks what the hell just happened?

    "i don't know" he replies, "but i think i just beat the sh*t out of a ghost!"
  2. what do you call a dog without a tongue
    smelly - balls
  3. two boys goes up to there dad and asks dad dad can we shag our sister certainly not boy but its for a biology exam arfter a lenghty debate

    the farther agrees to providing they wear a condom 6 months later there sister aproaoches
    her dad and tells him thats she is pregnant farther replys WHAT WHO GOT TOY PREGANT !!
    sister replys no one dad i have only slept with my two brothers

    the farther pulls the brothers up and asks which one of you bsaterds got your sister pregnant 1st
    one replys bieng the elder of ther two boys and says it wasnt him he wore a condom the farther
    looks at the other one and says right then it must have been you

    boy replys it wasnt my fault dad i had to cut the top of because it was to big