Lawyers vs The Salvation Army

Discussion in 'Miscellaneous Jokes' started by happybonzo, Apr 14, 2013.

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  1. The Salvation Army realised that it had never received a donation from the city's most successful lawyer.

    So a Salvation Army volunteer made an appointment to see the lawyer in his lavish office.

    The volunteer opened the meeting by saying, "Our research shows that even though your annual income is over two million dollars, you don't give a cent to charity. Wouldn't you like to give something back to your community through the Salvation Army?"

    The lawyer thought for a moment and said, "First, did your research also show you that my mother is
    dying after a long, painful illness and has huge medical bills that are far beyond her ability to pay?"

    Embarrassed, the Salvation Army volunteer mumbled, "Uh... No, I didn't know that."

    "Secondly," says the lawyer, "did it show that my brother, a disabled Veteran, is blind, confined to
    a wheelchair and is unable to support his wife and six children?"

    The stricken volunteer began to stammer an apology, but was cut off again.

    "Thirdly, "the lawyer said, "did your research also show you that my sister's husband died in a
    dreadful car accident, leaving her penniless with a mortgage and the burden of supporting three
    children, one of whom is disabled and another who has learning disabilities requiring an array of
    private tutors?"

    Completely beaten, the humiliated Salvation Army volunteer said, "I'm so sorry. I had no idea."

    And then the lawyer said, "So, if I don't give any money to them, what makes you think I'd give any to you?"
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  2. As a lawyer, one of my favourite lawyer jokes.
  3. The difference between a dead dog on the road and a dead lawyer?

    Skid marks in front of the dog.
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  4. Last winter was so cold that the lawyers had their hands in their own pockets/