Lawns

Boris_Johnson

ADC
Moderator
DirtyBAT
Just had my home maintenance team pop round this afternoon to quote me for ripping up the grass and laying some AstroTurf down instead.

Cant be arsed with lawnmowers, brown bins, weeds etc. Once the deck is down I can empty my shed of the patio furniture currently residing in there and start putting some blokey stuff in there instead.

Starting with insulation and moisture membrane, eventually wiring up a double socket.

As I live on my own, I've no need for a "I hate my wife but too chicken to do anything about it" isolation booth / safe space. But it will give me the option to whack a beer brewing fridge / Grain father wotsit in there, later down the line.
 

goodoldboy

MIA
Book Reviewer
Yes, it prevents the tree from blown over by the wind. Standard practice for all the newly planted trees until they have had a few years to grow and the roots are firmly in the ground.
Should be three stakes with 120 degrees between each as two don't protect against wind from any direction. We'll learn you ...
 
Should be three stakes with 120 degrees between each as two don't protect against wind from any direction. We'll learn you ...
I have no clue, the landscaping comes with the house. Sure as $hit not going to spend 390 for the place and have to landscape it myself. But it has held up against the gentle breezes we get here.
 
Just had my home maintenance team pop round this afternoon to quote me for ripping up the grass and laying some AstroTurf down instead.

Cant be arsed with lawnmowers, brown bins, weeds etc. Once the deck is down I can empty my shed of the patio furniture currently residing in there and start putting some blokey stuff in there instead.

Starting with insulation and moisture membrane, eventually wiring up a double socket.

As I live on my own, I've no need for a "I hate my wife but too chicken to do anything about it" isolation booth / safe space. But it will give me the option to whack a beer brewing fridge / Grain father wotsit in there, later down the line.
We know you take your "modding" seriously though - and it's well documented you've had several 'disturbed wanks' due to the sirens activating in the Longden bar.

I reckon a 'safe space' would be beneficial for you actually. Perhaps a wooden structure of a temporary nature...
 
Nice shed!

Sort them flag stones out. Need ripping up
Flags will be fine with a power wash and mild bleach solution to kill any algae deader than a dead thing. My lad does power washing as his pocket money job, he charges minimum $100, or 22cents per sq ft................not including airfare to the UK.
 
I think this thread has remained too 'on topic' now... we are into 5 pages and there has been no swerve.

What the feck has arrse come to?? There has to be a porn element that needs to be explored here...or even ...squirrels???
 
I like looking after my lawn.

Gave it a first cut yesterday, just a trim, to coin a phrase.

I feed and weed it, and have learned the hard way that fallen leaves should be removed as they kill grass underneath.
I've previously scarified which looks scary but actually does the world of good.

Strangely satisfying.View attachment 457934
Don't forget aeration. to allow good drainage and the moisture to get" Wight down past the woots".In other words make the most of the rain we've had which is very good if the summer is hot. Scarifying very good as it gets down to the thatch that builds up. Any mosses just a dash of FE. Fortunately my Lawn is sort of concrete, but I shall be keeping the Bowls green up to scratch over the stillness.
 
Just had my home maintenance team pop round this afternoon to quote me for ripping up the grass and laying some AstroTurf down instead.

Cant be arsed with lawnmowers, brown bins, weeds etc. Once the deck is down I can empty my shed of the patio furniture currently residing in there and start putting some blokey stuff in there instead.

Starting with insulation and moisture membrane, eventually wiring up a double socket.

As I live on my own, I've no need for a "I hate my wife but too chicken to do anything about it" isolation booth / safe space. But it will give me the option to whack a beer brewing fridge / Grain father wotsit in there, later down the line.
I enquired into astro turf as the dog pishing all over the grass leaves big brown patches.

I was put off when I heard how hot (fcuking hot, actually) it gets when we have those occasional sunny days.
 
Apocryphal lawn story told to me when I was working for an Oxford college:
Party of yank tourists being taken around the quad. One of them collars the groundsman, "Say, how do you get that grass looking so perfect?"
"Well, I mows it with a cylinder mower couple of times a week"
"I go round my lawns with my ride-on. twice a week all summer"
"Oi forks it to get some air down to the roots"
"Ah have a spring time aeriator that does that"
"I rakes it to get the thatch out".
"Ah do that but my yard doesn't look nearly this good."
"Well sorr, sounds like you are doing everything right, now you just keep doing it for another 350 years and I dare say it'll all come good."
 

Boris_Johnson

ADC
Moderator
DirtyBAT
I enquired into astro turf as the dog pishing all over the grass leaves big brown patches.

I was put off when I heard how hot (fcuking hot, actually) it gets when we have those occasional sunny days.
I wasn't planning on dragging my naked arrse across it like a worm-ridden council estate canine...

But duly noted. Honoured guests who wish to visit the BJ Towers will be permitted to sit on my expensive garden furniture. Any civilian guests will be grateful I've offered an old towel down to prevent their gentle skin from cooking.

We know you take your "modding" seriously though - and it's well documented you've had several 'disturbed wanks' due to the sirens activating in the Longden bar.

I reckon a 'safe space' would be beneficial for you actually. Perhaps a wooden structure of a temporary nature...
The only thing that's ever put me off my stroke was at my last place hearing the goth bitch next door getting body slammed into the headboard by her bodybuilder fiancé, imagining their stupid ear spacers jiggling around in sync, both high on amphetamines and knowing they were gonna spliff up afters in bed to bring them down as they prepared to sleep in their own spooge.

Pair of cunts. Glad I moved.

Oh and they always had Jeremy Corbyn / Labour posters in their window too.
 
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