Lawns

B&Q? Try these instead: Artificial Lawn Company - Home Page

(One of many)
If it all goes tits up I can heartily recommend the Artificial Lawn. SWMBO is a childminder and so the little darlins can play out without getting hurt or dragging dirt back into the house, we got the back garden carpeted with this. All year round play / party area.

Brilliant, run the Dyson over it occassionly and its even got real moss growing in it now
 

squeekingsapper

LE
Kit Reviewer
Even during the day? Fresh soil went down underneath and the bloke said something about waiting until pm to water. As I said, not a Gardner at all.
No, don't water during the day as this has the potential to "burn" the grass. Go for early morning or late afternoon as this also gives the water the best chance to soak in rather than evaporating.
 

Miner

ADC
No, don't water during the day as this has the potential to "burn" the grass. Go for early morning or late afternoon as this also gives the water the best chance to soak in rather than evaporating.
Again, what he said.
Apologies for not being clearer.
(What am I, Percy ******* Thrower?)
 

Ravers

LE
Kit Reviewer
Book Reviewer
Gardening is for poofs.

I recommend ripping up the turf and decorating the area with a few old wachine machines, some piss stained mattresses and a big rottweiler on a chain.

If you can get a rusty old Ford Sierra, I reckon this will provide the ultimate finishing touch to your new 'chillax zone'.
 
Water, Water and more water during the summer in the evening.

Oh and get a decent mower, proper petrol one, none of the pikey flymo things. All decent gardening tools should have an engine attached wherever possible. If only for the unadulterated joy of getting them out of the *$%& after winter to find none of the fooking things work.
 
Anyone with any sense would recommend you put a load of flagstones down. Couple of hundred should do it.
Nearer 250 I reackon. Apparently there's a bloke round his way thats got just that many going reasonably cheap for cash!
 
C

cloudbuster

Guest
Build a BFO shed over your new lawn to keep the nasty sun off.
 
Mate of mine had a humongous big lawn that she decided interfered too much with drinking time. Sher bought a job lot of 50 guinea pigs, put some straw in the garage for them to kip in, and let them out from dawn til...she remembered them. Thing is, they feckers are little self refuelling lawnmowers: the lawn was nibbled, weeded, manured and watered 24/7 free, apart from a handful of rabbit food chucked at them now and again. And they breed, more than making up for losses to predatory cats/foxes/whatever. Only downside is all the whistling at night, and they get a bit noisy in the mating season. Upside, if you're having a barbie and missed the shop, try CUAY (SP?)
 

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