Lawns

#1
I'm not a Gardner, at all, just wanted to make that clear early on.

Have had the remaining flagged areas of the front garden grassed over, rolls of turf are now in place.

Am seeing slight browning now and some areas look to be a bit 'off', I am giving it an hour of water between 18:00 and 19:00 and we are now 4 days in.

Any ideas? Any gucci tips to make it luxurious ? Is it fucked already ?
 
#2
I'm not a Gardner, at all, just wanted to make that clear early on.

Have had the remaining flagged areas of the front garden grassed over, rolls of turf are now in place.

Am seeing slight browning now and some areas look to be a bit 'off', I am giving it an hour of water between 18:00 and 19:00 and we are now 4 days in.

Any ideas? Any gucci tips to make it luxurious ? Is it fucked already ?
Persoanlly I'd have taken the flagstones up first ;-)
 
#3
Has being unemployed driven you to doing the garden?! Why aren't you paying for midget female clowns to give you a blumpkin whilst enjoying a line of charlie or something else along those depraved lines?
 
#6
Remember those mass graves we uncovered outside Srebrenica? Remember how lush the grass was?
You're not short of itinerant Slavs around your neck of the woods are you.
 
#8
Has being unemployed driven you to doing the garden?! Why aren't you paying for midget female clowns to give you a blumpkin whilst enjoying a line of charlie or something else along those depraved lines?
It's purely a Saturday drug....

Even porn isn't working, my masturbatory fail safe has always been tranny porn, wanking in abject confusion as the second willy appears, thats not working either ...
 
#11
It's purely a Saturday drug....

Even porn isn't working, my masturbatory fail safe has always been tranny porn, wanking in abject confusion as the second willy appears, thats not working either ...
Hmm poor show indeed. How about the unbridled joy of smearing your love truncheons(plural?) with ice cream and red laboons tied to them and letting the local mllaar population within a 3 mile radius to go to town on you with their no doubt dyson like suction, resulting in an extremely large porridge like expulsion of man-jism all over their happy ice-cream slavvered moon faces? Works a treat when all other avenues have failed.
 
#12
Lawns are easy. All you need is a nice flat reasonably well drained soil, some good quality grass seed and about 300 years of care and attention.
 
#13
Grass will grow on virtually anything, but if you have merely turfed over the flagstones then most of the water that you are putting on is merely running off of the flagstones underneath and the grass is drying out to quickly. The only real fix that you are going to get on this (short of ripping it up and starting again) is to bash the hell out of it to smash the stones, although again this will be far from perfect.

If you have lifted the stones, then it will probably be worth topping up the soil from bags onto your lawn and then smoothing over with the back of a rake to level it off. If you have very sandy soil then I would use a clay based loam and if it is a very clay based soil, then I would go for a sand based loam, or even to the extreme of sharp sand to help break down the clay. This will help with good water retention balance and help towards getting a decent lawn.
 
#14
An hour of watering through a home hose pipe is not much water.

It is hot today and we have had the driest winter since 1928.

get that hose going at least 2 hours.

your lawn is drying out
 
#15
Grass will grow on virtually anything, but if you have merely turfed over the flagstones then most of the water that you are putting on is merely running off of the flagstones underneath and the grass is drying out to quickly. The only real fix that you are going to get on this (short of ripping it up and starting again) is to bash the hell out of it to smash the stones, although again this will be far from perfect.

If you have lifted the stones, then it will probably be worth topping up the soil from bags onto your lawn and then smoothing over with the back of a rake to level it off. If you have very sandy soil then I would use a clay based loam and if it is a very clay based soil, then I would go for a sand based loam, or even to the extreme of sharp sand to help break down the clay. This will help with good water retention balance and help towards getting a decent lawn.


For the ******* love of God......I didn't turf over flags, at all. Quantified by the fact that a nice man is picking up 250 stone flags this afternoon for cash.
 
#18
For the ******* love of God......I didn't turf over flags, at all. Quantified by the fact that a nice man is picking up 250 stone flags this afternoon for cash.
Then read the second paragraph ....
 

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