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Law Society Ball

#1
Name says it all, I have been press ganged by my girlfriend to go a Law Society Ball. Had to rent a dinner jacket and all that jazz. Anyone got any tips for spending a night with these pompous cnuts ?
 
#3
Benzoate said:
Name says it all, I have been press ganged by my girlfriend to go a Law Society Ball. Had to rent a dinner jacket and all that jazz. Anyone got any tips for spending a night with these pompous cnuts ?
You don't own your own dinner jacket .................?
 
#5
You never know, it might just turn out to be a laugh*. The closest living resemblance to Dickens' Mr Fezziwig that I've ever met is in a Senior Partner of a Glasgow solicitors' firm.

*The value of your laughter may go down as well as up.
 
#7
firestarter said:
Benzoate said:
Name says it all, I have been press ganged by my girlfriend to go a Law Society Ball. Had to rent a dinner jacket and all that jazz. Anyone got any tips for spending a night with these pompous cnuts ?
You don't own your own dinner jacket .................?
I do own a dinner jacket but apparently it isn't expensive enough or some such crap.

I think I will be taking the advice of getting plastered and I will in fact refrain from hitting anyone as I can't afford to be sued out my ass by some hot shot lawyer type also my girlfriend would give me a good shoeing.

edited to say: I think it's just a dinner and dance.
 
#8
firestarter said:
Benzoate said:
Name says it all, I have been press ganged by my girlfriend to go a Law Society Ball. Had to rent a dinner jacket and all that jazz. Anyone got any tips for spending a night with these pompous cnuts ?
You don't own your own dinner jacket .................?
Good lord!
 
#9
Benzoate said:
Name says it all, I have been press ganged by my girlfriend to go a Law Society Ball. Had to rent a dinner jacket and all that jazz. Anyone got any tips for spending a night with these pompous cnuts ?
Don't let them know about your affinity with scabies.






Or that you're a cunt.
 
#11
Benzoate said:
Name says it all, I have been press ganged by my girlfriend to go a Law Society Ball. Had to rent a dinner jacket and all that jazz. Anyone got any tips for spending a night with these pompous cnuts ?
Tip 1 of 1; try and avoid referring to them as ............. to their faces. :wink:
 
#13
Oh quick note: I don't think that all lawyers are pompous quite that opposite actually, however I know for a fact quite a few of the ones that are attending this function are...I mean why else would you have a ball celebrating your own greatness ?
 
#14
Benzoate said:
Oh quick note: I don't think that all lawyers are pompous quite that opposite actually, however I know for a fact quite a few of the ones that are attending this function are...I mean why else would you have a ball celebrating your own greatness ?

Because, of course, the Armed Services never do that either, do they? :roll:
 
#15
Benzoate said:
Name says it all, I have been press ganged by my girlfriend to go a Law Society Ball. Had to rent a dinner jacket and all that jazz. Anyone got any tips for spending a night with these pompous cnuts ?
It is probably safest to become a “ Grey Man “ at such an event if you wish to retain your girlfriend by ......

Not spitting at all .
Not breaking wind when being introduced to her bosses .
Not starting to do the “ Watutsi Sh*g Dance “ .
Not showing an outing of the Trouser Elephant …. complete with ears .
Not wearing luminous orange socks and hitching your DJ trousers up slightly .
Not belching during the meal .
Not wearing a spinning , flashing Bow Tie .

Then again you could do all of the above and make it a truly memorable night out for everyone attending .
 
#18
Benzoate said:
Name says it all, I have been press ganged by my girlfriend to go a Law Society Ball. Had to rent a dinner jacket and all that jazz. Anyone got any tips for spending a night with these pompous cnuts ?
Yes. Take a bottle of anti-bac hand gel with you. Every time you shake hands with one of them, pointedly pour a little on your hand. Whichever lawyer is most objectionable, go on about how he can't possibly be "one of them" because he seems so nice. Ask loudly how much it takes to "throw" a trial and if it is known which judges are "bent".

I give you two hours, two hours fifteen tops!
 
#19
Bah. Where's your sense of adventure, man? Get supremely hammered within the first hour then start a loud and testosterone-fuelled row with the most pompous looking lawyer* there. Wait 5 minutes. Then hit.

Stand back and await the free-for-all as half the assembled company will wish to appear for the prosecution and the other half will trip over themselves to defend you pro bono.

This will be an even better game if your target turns out to be Cherie Booth QC.




*Your target maybe a split-arse: however, you know your duty. Get on with it.
 

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