Lavatory etiquette.

Discussion in 'The NAAFI Bar' started by vvaannmmaann, Jul 19, 2010.

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  1. After having curled one out and attending to the paperwork.You feel a bit left on your little finger.You accidently hold your little finger under your nose and smell it.
    Meanwhile your wife is standing in the doorway watching with her mouth wide open.
    What happens next.............
    (I know how I handled it,but I need to know if my "actions on" were in any way correct?)
     
  2. a) flick it into her mouth, she might keep it closed in future
    b) suck it off and spit it in her hair
    c) chase her in front of a truck with it
    d) get the toilet door fixed
    e) I'm not married, what's your wife doing in my toilet?
     
  3. She obviously wants you to flick it into the target she is presenting.

    I always shut the door, its my only escape from being talked at. I answer no questions and engage in no conversation while in my sanctuary.
     
  4. Suck it off your finger, then ask her "Why is it your cooking always tastes better once I've shat it out?"
     
  5. just say " ever done scatting love " then duck :D
     
  6. Vastatio,do you have issues with women?
    So holding my little finger towards her and asking,"Does this smell normal to you?" may not have been the correct action.
     
  7. Wipe it accross your upper a lip and tell her sanchez is going to get her.
     
  8. spike7451

    spike7451 RIP

    Always close the door when having a dump..that way it keeps the fresh aroma locked in for the next user..
     
  9. You're telling me you do not possess a s***.
     
  10. f) hide it in one of her jars of cosmetics, then challenge her to guess which one.
    g) draw a heart on her pillowcase
     
  11. Biped

    Biped LE Book Reviewer

    My missus went away for the weekend and then kerbed the car at 50mph on the way home, with my daughter in it, meaning I had to drive out in my car, put my daughter in it, and then follow the missus home in case she swerved off into the trees. Now, I had to leave home to do this RIGHT in the middle of Top Gear, so suffice to say, I was not best pleased.

    This called for some sort of revenge, soooo, this morning I knew I had a big stinky dump due after the meal I ate last night. I timed my dump (and read of my current book) to coincide precisely with the time my missus leaves for work. She can't say goodbye without giving me a kiss. By the time she reluctantly came into the bathroom to say her goodbyes, even I was gagging with my eyes tearing up from the fumes as most of my sticky shit was stuck to the bowl above the waterline. Bless her, she spoke to me while holding her breath, but it was no good. By the time she bent down to me on the bog to kive me a kiss she'd had a good couple of lungs full. She opened the window and threw a few fucks into me as she left.

    I consider the debt settled.