If you've seen this already, apologies...

From: Bin Laden, Osama
To: All Al Quieda Fighters
Subject: The Cave

Hi guys.
We've all been putting in long hours recently but we've really come together as a group and I love that. Big thanks to Omar for putting up the poster that says "There is no I'in team" as well as the Garfield that says "Hang In There, Baby." Very humorous.
However, while we are fighting a jihad, we can't forget to take care of the cave. And frankly I have a few concerns -

1st of all, while it's good to be concerned about cruise missiles, we should be even more concerned about the carpet dust in our cave. We want to avoid excessive dust inhalation, (a health and safety issue) - so we need to sweep the cave daily, I've done my bit on the cleaning rota...........have you?

I've posted a sign up sheet near the cave reception area (next to the halal toaster).

2nd, it's not often I make a video address but when I do, I'm trying to scare most of the world population, okay? That means that while we're taping, please do not ride your razor scooter in the background or keep
doing the 'Wassup' thing just while we're taping.

3rd: Food. I bought a box of Dairylea recently, clearly wrote "Ossy" on the front, and put it on the top shelf. Today, two of my Dairylea slices were  gone.
Consideration. That's all I'm saying.

4th: I'm not against team chanting and all that, but, we must distance  ourselves from the Westerner's bat and ball games. Please do not chant "Ossy  Ossy Ossy Oi Oi Oi" everytime I ride past on the donkey. Thanks

Last, we've heard that there may be Western soldiers in disguise trying to  infiltrate our ranks. I want to set up patrols to look for them. First  patrol will be Omar, Muhammad, Abdul, Akbar, and Dave.

Love you lots, Group Hug.

PS - I'm sick of having Osama's Bed Linen scribbled on my bed sheets  Cut it out Abdul, not funny anymore.  


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