For over 20 years, I have served in the TA without a moments hesitation, having achieved consecutive Bounty qualification throughout. I have turned up on Friday nights when I didn't really want to, leaving my family who I hadn't really seen for much of the week anyway, arrived home late and exhausted, yet had to turn up for work bright on the Monday morning. I have been away for weeks on end, in far flung places, with the minimum of kit and no allowances. I have crept my way up the food chain, and reached a point where I can influence and take part. I have worked with regulars, most of whom became friends, and who I believe respected me as much as I respected them. I have given of my time, my energy, and my career - convinced that over the 20+ years, only once did being part of the TA help me with my employer - for the majority of the time it was an encumbrance; more so of late. I have been disappointed, fed up, and misunderstood, yet I have seen comradeship, trust and empathy that has wiped out any disillusionment, often from those that you least expect. I had times of great joy, job satisfaction beyond comparison, and often when I was so tired, I could hardly stand. I have experienced pomp at the Cenotaph, at numerous Dinners, in St Pauls, and enjoyed royal visits. I have cleaned the toilets, run a BFT at 6am in the morning, and remembered my weapons drill. I have been solemn on distant battlefields, joining with my peers in understanding the sacrifice always cogniscent of the value of life. I have had many opportunities, many challenges, much fun, hilarity even, and on a few occasions deep deep humility. I have been part of something that has changed my life...irrevocably...for the good, yet all the while I am comfortable that I have given much back in return - it has always been a partnership, the TA always gave back as much if not more than that one was prepared to commit. Throughout, as is the way of leadership and command, I had trust in my superiors, trust that they would always do the right thing, trust that ultimately the organisation would go on to greater things. I am however now deflated. Recent events have left me incapable of trusting the CofC. We appear to be dispensible to the Government, which I cannot reconcile with the efforts and contribution made by so many people over the last two decades. When asked we delivered. This is not a just outcome and I have decided that enough is enough. I have better things to do, where I can make a difference and that my contribution is valued. I will watch from the wings - good luck to all of you, regular and territorial. My last post.