Land Rover horror stories

Ravers

LE
Kit Reviewer
Book Reviewer
Given how cheap you can get L322 RRs and early RR sports now, I can’t say the thought hasn’t crossed my mind to get one and just use it as a farm vehicle.

Saw a freshly MOTd L322 for 3 grand recently. Would certainly be a fun and comfortable shoot vehicle and there is space in the boot to fit a couple of sheep.

For 3 grand that’s almost disposable. Even if it only lasts a year.
 

Dread

LE
There's this one for sale in Prague (5 hours up the road from me). 4.4 diesel V8 'Vogue', one owner, 70k miles, Full dealer history, GBP 19k:
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@Ravers
You'll also need to shave your head and get an extensive range of tattoos, take anabolic steroids and spend more time in the gym. Compulsory clothing will include faded designer jeans and tight black T-shirts.

Just saying.
 
Given how cheap you can get L322 RRs and early RR sports now, I can’t say the thought hasn’t crossed my mind to get one and just use it as a farm vehicle.

Saw a freshly MOTd L322 for 3 grand recently. Would certainly be a fun and comfortable shoot vehicle and there is space in the boot to fit a couple of sheep.

For 3 grand that’s almost disposable. Even if it only lasts a year.
I've had one L322, petrol Vogue V8
The best and worst car I've ever had. For 13 days a fortnight it was fantastic, on the 14th day it was utter shite. And I do mean every fortnight it went wrong. It was 7 years old when I bought it.

Undeniably quick for three tonnes of tin, smooth, powerful and undoubtedly luxurious. It was the car that taught me heated steering wheels are a great idea (I thought only a tart would use one when I bought it)
I'll never buy a BMW engined car again. The engine was complete dog toffee.
Contrary to popular belief, the bits engineered by Land Rover were fine, the bits provided by BMW broke with alarming regularity.

Next time I convince myself to buy another Range Rover it will probably be a classic or a P38.
They still break but at least you can fix them. and they are better off road.
 

Ravers

LE
Kit Reviewer
Book Reviewer
I've had one L322, petrol Vogue V8
The best and worst car I've ever had. For 13 days a fortnight it was fantastic, on the 14th day it was utter shite. And I do mean every fortnight it went wrong. It was 7 years old when I bought it.

Undeniably quick for three tonnes of tin, smooth, powerful and undoubtedly luxurious. It was the car that taught me heated steering wheels are a great idea (I thought only a tart would use one when I bought it)
I'll never buy a BMW engined car again. The engine was complete dog toffee.
Contrary to popular belief, the bits engineered by Land Rover were fine, the bits provided by BMW broke with alarming regularity.

Next time I convince myself to buy another Range Rover it will probably be a classic or a P38.
They still break but at least you can fix them. and they are better off road.
My cousin used to write for a motoring website and had one of the very first L322s on test for a few days.

He brought it down to Collingwood where I was in phase 2 training at the time.

It was like getting in a space ship. I’d never seen 90% of the gadgets that car had including a TV.

Impressive machine.

An old shit up one with mud tyres, that only comes out on shoot days and for lugging livestock around would certainly be more stylish than the shitty old Mazda pickup I used to have.
 

Ravers

LE
Kit Reviewer
Book Reviewer
you got spare barn to start running an ebay scrap yard ?
For two grand I’ll use it until it physically can’t move anymore, then give it a Viking funeral.

I’ll probably keep the seats though.

They’re comfy as ****.
 
For two grand I’ll use it until it physically can’t move anymore, then give it a Viking funeral.

I’ll probably keep the seats though.

They’re comfy as ****.
With slightly shorter pockets (and shorter arms) I’ve thought about doing the same with a disco 1/2 for £500-1k.

Considering a hire car of any description is at least £100 a day it wouldn’t take long to feel like i’d got my money’s worth ragging one up to Scotland/round Devon for a summer holiday.

If it got there.
 
For two grand I’ll use it until it physically can’t move anymore, then give it a Viking funeral.

I’ll probably keep the seats though.

They’re comfy as ****.
Given the electrics are already shot the chances are you won't have to light the funeral pyre ....it will self combust .
The BMW engine in these can just about move the vehicle when new ......it will have lost a few of it's horse powers by now ...... if it was me at 1K I would still steer clear
 

TamH70

MIA
I've heard lots of horror stories about the first-generation Range Rover Sport, and watched a few reviews on them from the usual suspect car shows. If it was my cash, and it isn't, I'd avoid. That said, they do look a lot better than that Evoque thing.
 

Truxx

LE
The “ oil in the cylinders” was a turbo eating itself.
( body off chassis to do turbos , Hence them doing both). Your mechanic will be putting ball joints into the front suspension every other years mot.
They are a disco 3 in a frock with all the agro that entails, and she won’t even look cool in last seasons clothes.
Walk away imho
The "oil in the cylinders" thing is also often associated with the upholstery staining experience known as a "runaway" where the diesel engine consumes its own oil and revs uncontrollably to about 6000 rpm. It takes a brave man to try and stop it, particularly if it is an auto box. The only option there is retire to a safe spot and let it get on with it or try and block the air going in (ballsy).

Sadly I have never seen it in Booths carpark whilst I am having a coffee but I live in hope.

Some excellent examples on yutube.
 
The "oil in the cylinders" thing is also often associated with the upholstery staining experience known as a "runaway" where the diesel engine consumes its own oil and revs uncontrollably to about 6000 rpm. It takes a brave man to try and stop it, particularly if it is an auto box. The only option there is retire to a safe spot and let it get on with it or try and block the air going in (ballsy).

Sadly I have never seen it in Booths carpark whilst I am having a coffee but I live in hope.

Some excellent examples on yutube.
Saw that in a Renault espace at the side of the A62 - Big plume of smoke - I pulled over to help (keep an extinguisher in the landie)
As I got close it was clear all smoke was from the exhaust and it was reving its balls off - Until with an impressive bang it let go
 
One other issue to be aware of, and it's much, much bigger than the turbos letting go is that quite a few of them have snapped the crank! Make no mistakes, this makes buggered turbos look like chicken feed. The guy that looks after mine has done 5 (at least, in the last 12 months or so, split between RRS and Disco 4).
That's very interesting. I had a snapped Crank on my classic which was because of lack of stiffness in the webbs causing the crank to flex ( 1988 with the early unbraced webbs). I've just humped in here because I do have an issue with BMW and my MG -they share the same grearbox design as Freelander-what Brainfart caused BMW .to place the Slave cylinder inside the Gearbox that when it fails you have to rip the box out and replace the clutch? I mean they didn't do with the 25,45, series, they didn't do it on the 800 series or the 600's only the 75's. The other reason is that I tend to replace my motor every decade or so and the MG is is now getting on for 7 years in my custardy. But I quite fancy a Land Rover again-at my age they're easier to get into. TBF I quite like the 1,8/2.0 litre Petrols (apart from heads). But I am somewhat limited by the fact that Freelanders ( the early ones) share that same dratted grearbox. I'm also quite sure that diesels will be taxed to oblivion shortly.
 
Given the electrics are already shot the chances are you won't have to light the funeral pyre ....it will self combust .
The BMW engine in these can just about move the vehicle when new ......it will have lost a few of it's horse powers by now ...... if it was me at 1K I would still steer clear
the last sentence I agree with the rest less so.
As the current owner of an 04 straight six and a jag V8 one if I may be so bold.
The 02 to 06 BMW era RRs were a huge improvement quality wiseover the previous p 38,s but did have some issues.
Firstly the gearboxes. In the BMW build era they were ok in the v8 petrol, it was just that the beemer v8 was an undurable dog ( that is virtually impossible to rebuild and set up correctly again my mechanic tells me).
The TD 6 ( aka the 5 series diesel motor) is bomb proof if the oil is regularly changed) the gearboxes however have an unjustified reputation.
They are American built 5 speeds and are just up to the job with an unchipped motor not pulling its guts out with heavy trailers. The snag was BMW said they never needed servicing! ( they do however have a filter inside) so if left unattended by 100000 miles the worn clutch pack material has clogged the filter and valve block and the box fails, quelled surprise!
The way of avoiding grief unsurprisingly is
1.avoid one that’s towed heavy trailers ( unless the gearbox has been rebuilt)
2. Avoid one that’s been chipped ( see above caveat)
3 as soon as you get it change the gearbox oil and the filter (£150 ish)
I did all three and my six cyl is approaching 190k with no problems.
Most electrical faults that show up are due to low voltage issues.
The electrical systems in these motors work very hard, the canbus system means systems talk to each other for nearly 15 mins when you turn off the ignition !! ( we checked one day with an ammeter) so your battery needs to be tip top. A cheap one will Bairely last a year.Buy a Land Rover one, they last.
( that piece of knowledge was hard earned after Bosh and Uaesa proved not up to the job).
If you are not a mechanical ignaramus they are eminently home fettlable , but you will need to spend a couple of hundred plus on a Hawkeye diagnostic pad. This will not only tell you which bit has failed , but will also reset suspension height sensors etc. ( I’ve never had a problem with ride height issues but I’m told with Hawkeye it’s a doddle)
Lastly ( for the bmw ere ones) , lots of the electrical and driveline stuff is shared with the BMW X5. If the spare is purchased in a BMW packet it is usually loads cheaper than a Land Rover packet)
Oh and the road tax is half what the jag era cars are.
The diesels only appear a little less pokey than the jag V8 s because they are working a bit harder and you can here them working ( in a TR6 raspy way), if you crack on, but at high mileage My old one can in no way be compared to the old diesel P38 era.
The later (07 on) jag era ones?.
Interior finish durability is up a notch ( they age inside much better)
The jag diesels are belters, very quiet and after you blank off the EGR valves
( £70 kit) are reliable. Apart from plastic inlet manifolds splitting. ( a full day and a bit to swap I’m told).
Change the oil every six tho and you will never need to see the turbos, neglect it and you will get to see the engine out to swap them!!!.
The ZF. Boxes have a much better reputation but Land Rover still persist in the fallacy they never need looking at. (Get the oil and filter changed as soon as you get it and then every 4 years thereafter.)
Keep away from drug dealer big wheels. The best way to ruin the ride on any full fat RR is to put low profiles on them. ( also a lot of the bling wheels are desperately weak on the inside rim edge and off reading will crack the rims without trying too hard. Stock is best.
Lastly in comparison with the disco 3 and it’s offspring the suspension on all full fats of this era are cheap to keep on top of ( bush failures at MOT are few and far between and my old one has averaged £50 a year to keep its suspension right) My jag era one has just sailed through an mot with no issues at 196k.
Just stay away from a main dealer.
 
Oh and if any of you go and buy a poverty spec full fat with the pug derived V6 I will be forced to beat you with a shovel for your stupidity. It will be the first stage of a long and painfull period of expensive education.!
 

TamH70

MIA
Oh and if any of you go and buy a poverty spec full fat with the pug derived V6 I will be forced to beat you with a shovel for your stupidity. It will be the first stage of a long and painfull period of expensive education.!
V6 petrol or V6 diesel, as according to Wikipedia both of those engine options are fitted to at least some Range Rover models?
 
The petrol I have no knowledge of, the diesel I get to see a heap of on a pallet whenever I go to see my mechanicing men.
It may be ok in a pug or a jag but it’s shite and fragile after landrover got their hands on it.
 

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