Ladies;

Discussion in 'The NAAFI Bar' started by Flagrantviolator, Jan 15, 2009.

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  1. A question: Now let me preface this by saying I've hade a lot of terrible fights with significant women in my life, fisticuffs, arson, degenerate sexual practices, etc. I've also had myriad household objects thrown at me, and thrown myriad at them. As my unit is rather impressive, and (I've been told) tastes of honey and barbecue crisps, they've always forgiven. EXCEPT the one thing I've tossed for which precisely NONE of them has ever forgiven me for: when I throw food at them. Not your workaday beans or toast, mind you, but meat in particular. Specificall, raw mince or cutlets. Now, they don't really appreciate having coldcuts tossed at them, either, but raw mince and or liver always seems to do irreparable damage to the relationship.
    My question is; why is this any more offensive and egregious an insult than being pelted with, say cornflakes or Eggos? Your thoughts, please... Thanks -FV
     
  2. Biped

    Biped LE Book Reviewer

    If you throw beef, it's curtains!
     
  3. For some strange reason they don't like a slap with a semi-defrosted salmon, either. Can't understand it.
     
  4. mwl946

    mwl946 LE Good Egg (charities)

    Flag, what in the name of all that is holy, have you been eating to make your bits (impressive or otherwise) taste of barbeque crisps??? Is cheese and onion not the more usual variety??? :puker:
     
  5. Possibly sh@gged a Hog Roast.
     
  6. Enough about my bits, youse! Answer the question!
     
  7. mwl946

    mwl946 LE Good Egg (charities)

    I d be offended if you threw ANYTHING at me!
     
  8. I remember dissection at school, a boy chopping up the trachea of a sheep and wearing the pieces as rings, before throwing bits of lung at the girls. Didn't go down too well, I see your point.

    There probably is a more offensive thing to throw at your girlfriend. Your sh!te or another womans wet knickers spring to mind.
     
  9. Nothing's ever been thrown at me! I get in quick with the house-brick, shot-put or table-lamp ...... job's a good'n! :D
     
  10. This is only relevant if the girl(s) in particular had actually promised to go down and then the meat throwing incident made her/them change their minds!!

    Hardly right to promise and then fail to deliver.
     
  11. No man would dare to throw anything at me, at least, if he did it would be the first and only time.

    Surprised you have to ask the question in the first place
     
  12. Frozen leg of mutton. Club annoying bint over the head with said frozen leg of mutton. Cook and eat the leg of mutton thus destroying the murder weapon. Job done. :p
     
  13. Crimp off a length in to your hand and hurl that.

    Explan it away as "getting in touch with your primate roots".
     
  14. Whilst I don't think things SHOULD be thrown, I hate to see food wasted. As long as said meat product is later cooked and eaten/fed to an animal, what's the harm? :p
     
  15. because a woman knows its going to left to her to clean it up?? :?