Ladies Nether Regions - Solving the Smell!

Discussion in 'The NAAFI Bar' started by The_Goon, Aug 17, 2007.

Welcome to the Army Rumour Service, ARRSE

The UK's largest and busiest UNofficial military website.

The heart of the site is the forum area, including:

  1. Now, I think my girlfriend is incredible - she's lovely, gets on well with my family (and surprisingly I get on with hers), she's stunning (whether I'm the only one to think this or others agree with me I'm not certain), but most importantly she's awesome in the sack.

    Sounds pretty damn good.

    HOWEVER. The problem is her nether regions. More specifically, the smell. The smell can be, to be honest, sickening. If she's just showered, it's fine. Lovely area to visit. But at other times (end of the day etc.), if I proceed to her nether region it is very noticable that she smells something like a public toilet. I have, so far, just got "stuck in" and done the business whilst attempting to NOT breath through my nose. This can only work for so long.

    What I want to know is;

    A) Has anyone else noticed this in their partner (or for the fems, themselves?)

    B) Has anyone got a way to solve the smell issue (short of "ditch the b*tch and get a odourless version")

    A point to note - I KNOW that girls don't ALWAYS smell in this area. My ex never smelt even slightly off, no matter when I visited, so how can I stop my current girlfriend from smelling like this?! Equally, they don't always smell fine, but this is really quite out of control!

    ARRSErs - Help!
  2. Caustic Soda, sorts it out every time. Or, enjoy the fact that a few weeks piss-dribble, sweat, poo-residue and the whiff of a slight bout of lubricant whilst looking at shirtless builders can make the taste even more eloquent and indeed, delightfull.
  3. Vicks Vaporub up the nostrils, does the job!
  4. As you're starting to 'yodel' down there pop an extra strong mint up it, hey presto, minty freshness!
  5. Interesting... Particularly like the caustic soda option.

    Any more ideas?
  6. try shaveing her bold.
    or a full bottle of bleach.
  7. You could just be cruel and say 'your beef curtains have gone past there sell by date'.
  8. Suggest shagging in shower
  9. Trying to avoid actually approaching the issue with her in such a direct manner. She's currently got a small landing strip down there, I'd be shocked if it was responsible for the smell.

    If someone came up with an idea I could approach her with, then I'd be very happy, esp. if it worked! Although I fear that I will be unable to approach her about this issue, she may be upset.
  10. For an honest opinion as to whether she is worth the effort you should post a photo of her, if possible with the offending nether region exposed.

    Failing that try Bicarb and lemon juice.
  11. have you not been issued a respirator

    she might even find it a turn-on

    let me know if that works as i may have a crack at that myself
  12. Does she read arrse?

    Draw her attention to this topic and ask her what she would suggest.
  13. Changing her diet may well help. Strongly flavoured foods will lead to strong smells. Put her on a diet of mint tea only.

    If still doesn't work, try this.

    Attached Files:

  14. Get someone else to lick her,

    I'm not busy
  15. Lick her ringpeice instead?