I don't know if I am even putting this on the right site. I lost my son who was serving in the army and was killed in an accident last year. I wish I had good things to say about the way families are treated after the bereavement of a child but so far this has not been my experience. I am talking about by the army/MOD etc. It can only be described as shabby. Today I got a letter telling me that I cannot have a wall plaque memorial marker for my son unless I pay for it myself, of course I will end up paying for it myself, this in not the point, there is no common sense or kindness or compassion, if your child is killed you get either the choice of the book of remembrance or an urn plot marker, if your child is buried this is paid for and the grave maintained for 100 years. I don't want any of these options, His friends want to pay their respects, there is no grave, they cannot all attend on the anniversary of the day he died to see the book of remembrance, His ashes are not interred, so a wall plaque would be the right thing, but no I cannot have this, well I can if I pay for it myself which I will. Why is there no degree of flexibility, no common sense, you have what we say and that is it. Well I wish my son was still alive, I wish he had been looked after a bit better and he might still be and then I wouldn't want a slate wall plaque would I? Thank you army, thank you MOD, thank you compassionate centre and aftercare support cell.