kitchen scales

Discussion in 'The NAAFI Bar' started by LoneTree, Apr 4, 2008.

Welcome to the Army Rumour Service, ARRSE

The UK's largest and busiest UNofficial military website.

The heart of the site is the forum area, including:

  1. Just been into the kitchen for a smoke , & want for fuck all better to do , I decided to slap my nuts on the kitchen scales. Just over .2 KG & thats 24hr post ejaculation, the gauntlet has been thrown .........

  2. You've gotta be fcuking joking!! if mrs e_m caught me with my bollox in her kitchen scales, she'd have them in a sling and fired over the back garden fence!! 8O
  3. Well of course the problem there is you don't know whether you're weighing your nuts or nuts plus part of you... the solution is simple. Shag your wife's mum/sister/daughter and get caught. Ensure you weigh yourself before the nuts are removed then subtract the new weight! Hey presto!
  4. I can't be doing it right. My scales say 82kg. And it bl00dy hurts!

  5. Not quite sure which result is a better one: a lighter weight of nuts suggesting that we actually have sex once in a blue moon, or heavy nuts suggesting a more reclusive lifestyle, choking the bishop just occasionally. 8O

  6. Puttees, read my previous :wink:
  7. LB , its definatley my nuts only, as I had employ the help of a crate of Spitfire to achive the required height to rest my 2 veg on the scales. Kitchen fitters while fitting worktops just dont think about blokes who may want to weigh thier bollox. Its a fcuking disgrace !!!! BTW the sweat I,d have to achive shaggin the MIL would surely screw up any nut to BMI formula ???

  8. I am just curious as the girlfriend reckons I,ve a right pair of hangers , or proper man balls as she likes to call em !! :)


  9. You're part of the latter group then? :wink:
  10. This thread is bollox.

    Incidentally: Pre wack 14oz (but the left nut was a bit retracted).

    Add the pole: 7lbs.

    Post wack: 9oz.

    Add the pole 9.3oz.

    Must a been the blood.