Kit list needed ....... Im going to Hell

Discussion in 'The NAAFI Bar' started by LordVonHarley, Nov 28, 2007.

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  1. If God does exist then I'm screwed, I will be given a one way ticket to the hot firey place once I shug off this mortal coil.

    Now Hell will be full of Sinners so it should be a bit of fun - Gambling, Drinking to excess, fornication out side marrage and all the other fun things Christians don't like.

    What should I ask to be burried with me to take to the other side?
     
  2. An asbestos suit.
     
  3. Cherie Booth QC. Doesn't have to be dead before burial, if that helps.
     
  4. Adult nappies, you're gonna need them cos you're bu*gered.
     
  5. I would suggest plenty of Femidoms; MDN will be waiting!
     
  6. The ancient Egyptians used to bury beautiful young servants to be ravished in the next world ...... why the feck would I want to that old hag for all eternity.
    ...... Oh..... I see your point :twisted:
     
  7. MDN will convert to RC and confess his sins when he is on his death bed thus side stepping Hell to spend eternity buggering Nuns in Heaven.
     
  8. Biped

    Biped LE Book Reviewer

    Well, you won't need matches, but you might want to take a loaf of bread (and a fork, though I hear they've got some).
     
  9. No point in going to heaven anyhow- you wont know anyone!

    Take a toasting fork and some marshmallows.
    Take some tampons, it is (apparently) not un-common for fudge packers to use them asfter a heavy 'session'.
     
  10. Madeline. Want me to dig her back up, or are you willing to travel?
     
  11. A large tube of Savlon.
     
  12. I wouldn't worry too much. You won't be able to get anywhere near the flames for all the politicians and men of religion.
     
  13. why wait until heaven? :twisted:
     

  14. Whats wrong with putting little girls in some serious hot water? answers on a post card to Mr G & Mrs K McCann c.o. the express newspaper, every day for the last 6 months etc etc etc
     
  15. I'm sure the rumour of being buggered by demons is just Christians trying to drum up business.

    I will have my tailor to run up an asbesto suit with armoured seat just incase thou!