Kinky Sex & The Hoop

#1
So... I have a new Doris. All is going well.

At what point do I choose the moment to find out if she is up for Cuffs and getting smashed through the Backdoor..

Do I meet her Folks first? Do I spend the night with her drab Chums and discuss World events first?

Decisions decisions...
 
#3
jarrod248 said:
I'd wait until you are the legal age first, you don't want to get into trouble.
and when she is.
 
#4
Track_Link said:
So... I have a new Doris. All is going well.

At what point do I choose the moment to find out if she is up for Cuffs and getting smashed through the Backdoor
Traditionally just after she's passed out, either through alcohol or the blows to the head. Make sure she hasn't recently eaten curry or raspberry jam.
 
#5
Get her drunk with a cheap bottle of Rose & take advantage of her confused state... Unfortunately my new tart flatly refuses any bum fun even when she is drunk so I may have to take some more drastic measures. :x

Keep us informed of your progress old boy, sodomising young ladies is undoubtedly the most glorious cause known to man!

&c,

~D.C.
 
#6
Dashing_Chap said:
Unfortunately my new tart flatly refuses any bum fun even when she is drunk so I may have to take some more drastic measures. :x
Hence the Cuffs old Boy.
 
#7
CQMS said:
Traditionally just after she's passed out, either through alcohol or the blows to the head. Make sure she hasn't recently eaten curry or raspberry jam.
Very funny.... gross.... but very funny! :)
 
#8
if all else fails, get your mates round and have a good ole gang rape.

after all, 9 out of 10 people enjoy it!
 
#9
Track_Link said:
Dashing_Chap said:
Unfortunately my new tart flatly refuses any bum fun even when she is drunk so I may have to take some more drastic measures. :x
Hence the Cuffs old Boy.
Aah, shrewd move! Last time the cuffs were on me with a blindfold too, cracking night that was! :) I remember I started a thread about this very subject about a year & a half ago on these fair forums. After finally doing the do I can honestly say that stuffing one's throbber up a posh bird's bung-hole is the highest point of satisfaction that mortal man can ever achieve.

&c
-DC
 
#10
Try skidding in off the pink!!!! If she bitches about it you can always claim it was an accident. 8O
 
#11
therealbigdizzle said:
if all else fails, get your mates round and have a good ole gang rape.

after all, 9 out of 10 people enjoy it!
Thats original.

Have you learned to wash yet?
 
#12
Doogonk said:
Try skidding in off the pink!!!! If she bitches about it you can always claim it was an accident. 8O
Ah yes, they call that the 'Baker Street', it's the only place on the Underground where you can change from pink to brown. :lol:

&c
~DC
 
#13
CQMS said:
Track_Link said:
So... I have a new Doris. All is going well.

At what point do I choose the moment to find out if she is up for Cuffs and getting smashed through the Backdoor
Traditionally just after she's passed out, either through alcohol or the blows to the head. Make sure she hasn't recently eaten curry or raspberry jam.
No way to treat his sister.
 
#14
You are all sick feckers. Lots of my 'orrible mates all boast about their 'Brown Wings'. They are hairy arrsed RUC sorry I meant PSNI TSG types. I get really wound up and tell them that it is wrong. If we are out on the sauce watching Rugby in the Pub they take great delight in telling any single females present that I love to give it to Girls 'Up the wrong un'. I get uber grumpy and explain that I am happily married and have nil desire for an affair or bum love. The trouble is I bite and over react every time. I get on my Chardonnay fuelled high horse and say that it is wrong to do that to a lady , they all just laugh at me. B@stards :D
 
#15
Killaloe said:
You are all sick feckers. Lots of my 'orrible mates all boast about their 'Brown Wings'. They are hairy arrsed RUC sorry I meant PSNI TSG types. I get really wound up and tell them that it is wrong. If we are out on the sauce watching Rugby in the Pub they take great delight in telling any single females present that I love to give it to Girls 'Up the wrong un'. I get uber grumpy and explain that I am happily married and have nil desire for an affair or bum love. The trouble is I bite and over react every time. I get on my Chardonnay fuelled high horse and say that it is wrong to do that to a lady , they all just laugh at me. B@stards :D
Well that was no chuffin' help at all!!!!!! :x
 
#16
Dashing_Chap said:
Track_Link said:
Dashing_Chap said:
Unfortunately my new tart flatly refuses any bum fun even when she is drunk so I may have to take some more drastic measures. :x
Hence the Cuffs old Boy.
Aah, shrewd move! Last time the cuffs were on me with a blindfold too, cracking night that was! :) I remember I started a thread about this very subject about a year & a half ago on these fair forums. After finally doing the do I can honestly say that stuffing one's throbber up a posh bird's bung-hole is the highest point of satisfaction that mortal man can ever achieve.

&c
-DC
Rubbish, scoring a century at Lords is the highest honour. Oh b0ll0cks, NAAFI Bar, yep you are right. Excavate that stench trench with your male trowel
 
#17
Sporting achievements are far too superficial & fleeting, the triumph only lasts a mere moment. When you have your todger inserted up some skinny, posh tart’s ricker though & can feel her wince & tremble… That my dear fellow is the moment of infinity, when you are truly crowned with laurels! The moment of shining glory however, is when you pull out. :wink:

~DC
 
#18
Track_Link said:
So... I have a new Doris. All is going well.

At what point do I choose the moment to find out if she is up for Cuffs and getting smashed through the Backdoor..
I'm led to believe the best time to ask for this is after she's done you up the arrse with a strap-on

I've no first hand experience of this and just repeating what I've heard
 
#19
Killaloe said:
........... I get on my Chardonnay fuelled high horse and say that it is wrong to do that to a lady , they all just laugh at me. B@stards :D


Well if you tried drinking a decent grape like Malbec, Grenache or Mourvèdre you might grow some hairs on your chest and feel like indulging in a bit of male to female bum love; rather than supping WAG juice (unless it is White Burgundy of course, such as Montrachet) which will make you prance like a pansy!
 
#20
Gremlin said:
Killaloe said:
........... I get on my Chardonnay fuelled high horse and say that it is wrong to do that to a lady , they all just laugh at me. B@stards :D


Well if you tried drinking a decent grape like Malbec, Grenache or Mourvèdre you might grow some hairs on your chest and feel like indulging in a bit of male to female bum love; rather than supping WAG juice (unless it is White Burgundy of course, such as Montrachet) which will make you prance like a pansy!
I do enjoy a decent grape, sadly in Norn Iron, Chard is the best you get in Pubs. But a ladies bottom is still wrong & off limits. It's just so wrong.
 
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