Kim Jong Il swings his b*llocks at Obama


Hey, America, and particurarly you, Obama and Bilwary Cwinton, you rike my bawls swinging in your face? What? You don't see them? What you think my nucwear detonation is? What you think missiwle test for fourth July is? What you think our Kang Nam ship is? They all me swinging my balrs in your face. You rike them Korean spuds? There, wook at them swing. You see tatto there? It say "Made in People's Democwatic Wepubwic of Korea", impewialist wunning dog scum. Jonggy boy not gonna stop waving bawls in you face till you open wide and suck the hairs right off them. You gonna gargle Kim's korean spuds good, you gonna rike it and you gonna ask for more.

Me no mess with Georgie Bush, Dicky Cheney, Coaling Powell, Condie Rice, they had bawls of their own, they swung theirs back. They know what they want. But you, Barry, you a pussy. Even Vicey Pwesident Biden say so. And he f*cking clown. Even that f*cking clown knows! Who you fink Biden warn Amewican people about? Who you fink gonna "test" Obammy? Me. That's who. Me and my Juche-powered swinging bawls.

What you gonna do? Send Hans Bwix? Expwess concern? Give autocue speech wivout weally saying sh*t? Strongly worded retter? Again?

I think you gonna do f*ck all. You too pussy to shut off food aid, People Wepublic of China not gonna do sh1t, they on our side. They Communist brothers.

You not gonna invade, we nuke Seoul. We got you by YOU bawls now!

Bawl's in you court now, Bawwy, and I hear you bowl rike a retard, you say so youself on TV.

Your move, bawwy!


Book Reviewer
We bruddas in the skin bro. You just saying dat sh!t to wind a homie up. But hey, it's cool man, it's cool. You feeling like a oppressed muthafukka right? Well, I dig dat sh!t baby, me and my homies in the U S of A are feelin you on this.

I'm not saying I'm hip with your jive-ass muthafukkas pointin they gats in mah face 'n'all, but hey, you know, we don't actually have to keep disrepektin each others sh!t huh?

O'course, on the other hand, if you really wannah get a tin o'wuppass opened up right here, well, me an my crew say we can take out your whole neighbourhood, you get what ahm sayin? Huh?

Oh, bawwy, now you breaking my bawls here, no, weally. I scared. Ooooh, weally.

What all this "Dweams of my father" sh1t? You know what dweam of my father was? 100 volumes of Juche phirosofy. 100 volumes of "I Korean. F*ck the west of you f*ckers, we better." How you know what dream of you father was? He f*cked you mother and f*cked off back to Afwica.

But we got something in common. We both in power cos we knew peopwl in high places. I wike your Chicago politics, only one party. Wike DPRK. But you know why Korean politics better? We have concentration camps and powitical executions. You pussies with that. You don't know how to wun single-party state. You not put John McCain in fwont of fiwng squad and famiwly in labour camp. You so big pussy Pawis Hiwlton make competition for biggest pussy with you and lose.

Yeah, I know you got nucrear weapons. But you gave the big red button to the Russians, that funny gag, haha, now you have no button no more. But no matter, you not Hawwy Twuman, you give too much of a sh1t about what UN say. And they almost as big pussies as you. You too big pussy to push button, you too busy twying to understand both sides. But guess what? Juche phirosofy say "F*ck you, hippy", and what you gonna do about that?

Ever had a disagreement with anyone before? No? That cos Democwatic party suck you chocolate schlong cos you's bwack. You get safe seat. They say it wacist to disagree with you. They all laughing behind you back. You their bitch. You dwink their kool-aid.

Now I'm swinging my bawls at you and what you got? Talk talk talk. Everyone weasonable with The One. He so great, he solve all problems with "negocirations". What Juche dictionary say about "negocirations"? It say "weakling Imperialist wunning dogs asking for bawls to be swung in their faces."

I no scared of your nucrear weapons, you not even talk rike you want to use them.

Bawwy, I'm waiting, what you got, "homey"? I got swinging bawls.
Hehe stoats, it really hurts you to see a socialist in the White House, doesn't it? :)

Well, you can't really blame him for not standing up against the fine North Korean army.



Stanley1975 said:
Hehe stoats, it really hurts you to see a socialist in the White House, doesn't it? :)
The democrats aren't a socialist party, they're a right of centre democratic party, just not so far right as the Republicans.
Stanley1975 said:
Hehe stoats, it really hurts you to see a socialist in the White House, doesn't it? :)

Well, you can't really blame him for not standing up against the fine North Korean army.

It hurts me to see such a prevaracating pussy in the WH. I bet breakfast is fun at his place:

Michelle: "Would you like bacon or oatmeal, sugâh?"
Bazza: (autocue rises out of the floor) "Well, both of them have their merits, and although I like bacon, and I do want to support the American pork product industry, I do need to get more fibre in my diet, so oatmeal would also appear to be a valid choice. I guess I'll hedge till Rasmussen gets the poll numbers in."
Michelle: "alright, go hungry then you indecisive cnut".

I feel some more KJI coming on...
Stoats you do know Wimbledon started today, the entire 한반도 비무장지대 could be overrun while strawberries are dipped into fresh cream.

Hey, Bawwy, you giving me the quiet treatment like you're giving Iwan? Aaaw, shucks! You sooooo coy.

Well, Juche says that I'm Kowean and therefore the greatest leader of gweatest nation on Earth. So f*ck you. Just thought I'd get that in there to wemind you.

Anyway, you pwobably didn't get the memo, but you're supposed to be the reader of the so-called fwee f*cking world (as we all know only DPRK is part of weally fwee world, perfect democracy of one man (me) one vote (mine)). You mouth off about all this muwltiwateral diplomacy cwap and involving Europe, but those Euwopussies are rauching their collective tits off at you too. They onry want to pretend to be involved in decisions to feewl all serlf-impowtant, but they expect Amewica to make the tough decisions and get Amewican hands dirwty. They want YOU to sort the sh*t out and then ride to glory on your coat tails having committed a pafetic number of twoops. It's worked that way for 60 years, dumbarrse. Those pussies didn't and couldn't even sort out a minor civirl war in their own back yard in the 90's till Billy F*cking Cwlinton finawlly stuck his schlong in the proceedings. And then they still compwained about it! Pussies.

Haven't you worked this out yet, mister I'm so f*cking smart - they want you to do all the hard sh*t so they don't have to, and so that they can compwlain about "Amewican imperialism" and "american unilateralism". So I'm not expecting any sh*t from those Fwench toad-eaters or Gerwman sausage swallowers any time soon. Onwly person on entire planet who can give me sh*t is you, sucker. And if you give me sh*t, maybe some of the Euroweenies who aren't secwetly serring me stuff might come play on your team too. While you take position of reft-wing College professor who so reft-wing he make me look not like eviwl Communist dictator at all, I can swing my bawls in your face! Haha!

Hell, even that stinky Ahmedinejad has taken a break from powitical oppression to swing his balls in your direction this week! I mean, he know how to wig election, 64%, not like your ACORN pussies with pafwetic voter wegistwation fraud. If you're going to do it at awl, do it pwoperly - or do like I do and shoot anyone who disagwees with you.

One thing I do envy you for, though, Bawwy, is your mainstweam media - I mean you get more sycophantic covewage than I do, and you haven't even shot any journawists or their famiries. I think that Chwis Maffews of NBC is even a bit queer for you. I mean, are you doing sexuawl favours for them all or something? Even DPRK state news doesn't give me such damp-pantied coverage, and I horld all journarists' famiries hostage in rabour camp and shoot them awl if they ask difficult question rike "why was 5 year plan only fulfilled in 3 years 2 days and not 3 years 1 day?" or "Dear Reader, what did you have for breakfast this morning?"

Anyway, DPRK's next grorious act on world stage after we deriver nucrear material to Middle East on ship and thweaten you if you say "boo" to our sailor-boys is to get 12 year old Chinese kid to hack your teleprompter to make you say stupid sh*t. Maybe change your speech for Biden's. Heck, you wread Iwish guy's speech without wealising, so maybe we even get you to give speech of Juche phirosophy to mass wally of world media before answering questions about your f*cking dog fwom CN-f*cking-N. I mean, a Portuguese WATER dog donated by Ted F*cking Kennedy! Awl of Pyongyang palace was raughing for days! You funny guy, Barry, and you so far up you own arrse you don't even know it!

Anyway, peace out, and suck my bawls, Mr. Obarry!


ronnie12398 said:
Nehustan said:
Stanley1975 said:
Hehe stoats, it really hurts you to see a socialist in the White House, doesn't it? :)
The democrats aren't a socialist party,they're a right of centre democratic party, just not so far right as the Republicans.
Don't make me laugh, okay? :roll:
You've obviously never met (or read) a 'real' socialist if you think Obama is one. They (i.e. US Democrats) would be categorised as Liberal (which has economic implications) Democrats, they don't apply socialist economic philosophy. Europe has socialists, they're few and far between in the USA (and more recently in the UK, but there's a whole Fabian discussion to be had on that one), and Liberals don't equate...


Not that it is in any way authoritative but...

(edited to add, sorry for discussing other things in your thread stoatman...I'm thoroughly enjoying it...classic thread!!!)


ronnie12398 said:
The US Democratic Party is left of center, maybe not as left as some would like to take it but they're definitely not right of center, that's for sure.
To be left of centre states a definite economic stance, not just being a liberal, i.e. economic, with a conscience, i.e. healthcare. It requires a critique of capital and weight on the side of the proletariat, rather than the bourgeoisie/industrialists. While there can be no doubt that Obama (and his party's) worldviews is socially based, it's nowhere near socialist. Most of the left parties in Europe would probably not qualify as socialist, other than as a pretension.

Before you say I'm a socialist, I'm not, never have been, and doubt I ever will be. I have however read socialist writers, and being brought up in Liverpool in the 80s was surrounded by both Fabians and Socialists of all descriptions. I tend to think that mankind is too immature (read as greedy) for socialist economics to work, and thus recognise the applicability of Liberal economics; as such I vote Liberal Democrat.

(edited to add below)

Quite entertaining, Stoaty. It's a shame your theory falls down when you consider that they had their first attempt at a nuclear detonation in October 2006. Not to mention the numerous missile tests.

Ronnielotanumbers- it all depends on where you think the centre is. Most Americans' blissful ignorance of the existence of anything beyond their borders tends to skew things somewhat.
The message is still the same though isn't it. Saddam Hussein gets a bit gobby about his possibly hidden WMD's and gets smashed into next year with some of the greatest displays of modern firepower we've see in recent years. Meanwhile Kim Jong Il tests WMD's on our face and the world does.....................

When push come to shove the great powers have been seen to bottle it. Maybe somebody will say some nasty words about him, that'll learn em.


crabtastic said:
Ronnielotanumbers- it all depends on where you think the centre is. Most Americans' blissful ignorance of the existence of anything beyond their borders tends to skew things somewhat.
The problem is the idea of centre, it closely correlates to centred, i.e. balanced. Most people like to think of themselves as such, i.e. balanced, well adjusted, normal. Thus 'left of me' can appear to some people as 'left of centre'; it's an obvious cognitive bias...
Bugger all socialists, right-wing wingnuts, and little green men from Mars with cognitive bias issues.

More Stoatman channeling KJI! :D

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