KILTS

#1
I am seriously fucked off. Having to miss the Army Navy due to shit stag planning

I've just recieved an email asking my measurments for a kilt

I'm not a porridge wog and don't want to ******* walt as one

My first line of negotiation is, if all the jocks wear english footy shirts for the stag weekend I'll wear a kilt for the wedding......

However I have been told there is some etiquette.., Whats the score, she's a Jock, he is a shandy swilling southern poofter, what kilts will they put us in?

Am I on to a loser on a point of accepted ettiquette where sasanachs are allowed/must/should wear some family kilt not related to them at all

Chop chop with the answers as I'm getting a ******* walloping off the teasy ***** by email
 
#5
just to add, I'm the ******* best man.

Some one was droning on about us all wearing the brides family kilt.....surely thats not right

******* weddings I shit em, its his second go round, do non of you ***** ever learn
 
#6
I am not adverse to wearing an "urban" kilt as anyone on the plinth piss up will recalll (well probably not the drunk birds)

I've got two tartans of my own family I could go with (not got the kilts and never would), but I can't be ******* arrsed with all this placcy jock shit.


I'm looking for the definitive "WHAT THE BEST MAN SHOULD WEAR" DS answer. so I can wrap my tits in dripping and just man up and get the tape measure out really
 
#8
basically if you pay or hire a kilt you can wear whatever tartan you like, unless of course you are a true Scotsman of course with a family tartan, like wot I does
 
#9
Having worn the kilt at weddings your missing the point here, women love them. Every clan has "septs" which are names associated with that tartan, any decent kilt hire shop will be able to tell you the one for you based on your surname. If not there are lots of other ones that are not associated with any surname, just pick the one from those that you like the colour of.
 
#10
The point is it's the bride's "special day" and she gets to say who wears what. If you don't fall into line you'd better believe she'll be giving your mate earache for the next twenty years until he finally snaps and buries her under the patio.
 
#12
Wear whatever tartan you want, who's going to notice/care? If you're at all concerned then stick with Royal Stewart or maybe Black Watch.
Good advice not to upset the bride, I did that on my wedding day.
 
#13
I know women love em, I cut about in a SKILT number if I get the chance www.skilt.co.uk

it appears the kilt has been decided on by.............................What colour goes with the bridesmaids dresses... Its called Modern BAird

I despair
 

jarrod248

LE
Gallery Guru
#15
I am not adverse to wearing an "urban" kilt as anyone on the plinth piss up will recalll (well probably not the drunk birds)

I've got two tartans of my own family I could go with (not got the kilts and never would), but I can't be ******* arrsed with all this placcy jock shit.


I'm looking for the definitive "WHAT THE BEST MAN SHOULD WEAR" DS answer. so I can wrap my tits in dripping and just man up and get the tape measure out really
I recall that skirt you wore. Now as you point out this chap doesn't seem to learn so, go in jeans trainers and a string vest, squeeze the brides tits and finger the bridesmaids - you'll not be bothered again.
 
#16
You are entitled to wear the tartan of your Cheiftain ergo "our" Cheiftain is QE2, and as such anyone British can wear the Stuart Tartan, thanks to QI for that gem.
 
#17
I recall that skirt you wore. Now as you point out this chap doesn't seem to learn so, go in jeans trainers and a string vest, squeeze the brides tits and finger the bridesmaids - you'll not be bothered again.
Pretty much summed up my SOPs for weddings, last one I went to they sent me a thankyou note saying they appreciated the fact that their wedding would be forever linked to naked footy
 
#18
Clan kilts are all a load of bollocks.
Back in the day, people would wear a kilt of whatever cloth they could get.
It wasn't until the 19th century that tartens were attributed to certain Clans. This was mainly for trade reasons.
Theoretically I am entitled to wear two different Tartens due to family lineage, but I don't like dressing as a woman. Not on week days anyway.

P.S. The Welsh kilt is ******* gash. Just because the Pikeys & Porridge Wogs wear them, it doesn't mean, as a Celtic nation, we should.
 

Travelgall

MIA
Kit Reviewer
#20
George Cross kilt, St George kilt, England kilt, English kilt « www.skilt.co.uk

Just have a fast car ready if its in Scotland.

You can have so much fun with this.
American National Tartan Some Gauche Plastic Scot Tartan
Unnamed C18th - Plaid (Culloden-DWS) Tartan | Scottish Tartans Authority In memory of that happy time for the Scottish dreams of independence.
Scottish tartans-Scotland clans heritage from Scotland On Line In case you've moved into banking.
Scottish tartans-Scotland clans heritage from Scotland On Line I guess if you're hung like one.
I got bored when I hit E on the tartan search, but picking something truly vile can't be hard. Or you could go for the full Herr Flick Leather Kilt. The opportunities are endless.

The beauty is, you can claim it is Grandpappy McGimp's tartan, and smile happily to yourself.
 

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