Kilts - pulling tool or men in skirts ?

Discussion in 'The NAAFI Bar' started by machiavelli, Jun 15, 2006.

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  1. Lets open a bag of worms,

    Jocks i do not mean to deride your national dress so easy on the abuse :twisted:

    Ladies do you prefer a man in a kilt or a shiny pair of desert boots and checked shirt (standard para dress for town) ??
  2. Not being a lady myself I can't comment on what they prefer, but only on my own experience of both forms of dress.

    Scotland and NI is the only place in the UK I would happily go out and NOT expect to hear some slapper shout 'Wot you got under there Jimmy' or get some chav tw@t in a burbury trying to lift it up! As for abroad, the ladies (non English/Welsh) can't get enough of it! :lol:

    As for the desert wellies mit check shirt (even on non airborne), well its like a burbury rag to a chavet bull and back scuttle them for sure!!! :p
  3. It's an absolute pulling tool in the right place. I was in Germany a couple of years ago and the birds were flocking over all of us (all be it they were pissed, usually stinking and funnily enough, German).
  4. i wore my kilt to sister-in-laws wedding "dan souff" & it brought far too many admiring glances HOWEVER my "doris" was with me at the time :crying: :crying: :crying: :crying:
  5. Oh, I adore kilts if you're not 37489274982749873 kgs and have monster-hairy legs. They're lovely!

    Not Scottish btw
  6. My own experiences have been widely varied - great in london or north of the border (not the watford gap) it seems to at least get you the ability of an opening line something like " let me by you a drink and if your good i'll show you later) - to the already mentioned question of "anything under there?". Agreed and have had my fair share of drunken chavness saying something along the lines of "oi you you scottish wanker think your hard....." at which point machiavelli retreats into the group of his much harder friends and says "not since i last visited your sister/mother/wife"

    However nothing as undignified as a pissed bloke sprawled on the floor with his tackle hanging out - although thinking about it its much better than trousers for a suruptious piss at the bar............

    I suppose the question is is it worth the trouble for that opening line or should you just dress like an englishman and flash the pocket money the misses gives you in an attempt to get the birds drunk anyway ?
  7. Wore mine to the Playboy Mansion and the bunnies were copping a feel of what I had under my kilt. Sadly I am endowed with a small chipolata and it was cold so I went home alone. :(

    The Kilt has helped get me laid in Budapest several times: far better than Black Tie and almost on a par with Mess Kit (because of a chestful of gongs (most chocolate) and a badge seem to impress the ladies as well).

    Ultimate pulling kit? A&S Highlanders Ceremonial No.1 dress and loads of gongs. I saw it in action several times and even John Merrick can get laid if he goes out in that kit.
  8. If you can't pull in a kilt, you couldn't pull in a brothel!

    You walk into a Hogmonay party south of the border and baddam...all the girls want to ask the question. Some refuse to believe it and let their fingers do the walking! If you have the legs for it, stand six foot plus and are gifted with a roguish air, then stand back it could get very messy. At a Hogmonay thrash a few years back in Bristol, some Welsh bird got very interested in what was under the tartan and would not stop trying to run her hand up. At first it was cheeky buttock fondling then suddenly she had full contact on my knob. Several times after that I had to ask her to stop and the Fenian Bride was less than helpful, because by then she had had a few Irish coffees and kept taunting the Welsh tart with the news that she (i.e. the Fenian Bride) would be getting the "contents of his sporran" later.

    I think the whiskey had made her sexual geography go a bit skewed. On the other hand she may have been being strictly accurate because as a wife what is mine is hers...It threatened to go pear-shaped and I had visions of the South West heat of Celtic Female UFC starting impromptu but the rest of the Welsh bird's coven turned up and dragged her away. She was last seen trying to persuade the doorman to accompany her into the ladies for quote "a damn good rooting boyo.." unquote.
  9. When in a kilt and first spotted by a potential predator, it's not only your face that counts :)

    Oh, damned cruel world. Not enough men in skirts in Dubai :(

    Edit: Feck, just got a scary image of an Arab in a kilt
  10. If you really are Mel Gibson - then it's the arrse without the kilt they were after.
  11. Radical slightly off thread but does the long dress like item of clothing favoured by most middle eastern men not count in a slightly twisted way as a skirt.

    If so then Dubai should be rife with men in skirts :D
  12. You mean that checkered thing they wrap around themselves like a towel (underwear) or the white thing? If it's the latter, it's a dress ;) If the former, spare me please.
  13. The white dress - sorry and spare you from what exactly ? :D

    As a man (neanderthal mode on) dresses / skirts same sort of thing lol

    (Neanderthal mode off)
  14. I'm as English as the next Englishman but have worn Highland evening dress a few times about town in my youth. Suc(k)cess every time :wink:

    Definitely the best trapping gear ever invented. If your going to the USA on holiday, I'd look on ebay and get yourself a set!!!
  15. Why were you wearing a kilt if you're not Scottish?

    You'd never see a Scotsman dressing up like a Morris dancer now would you?