Kilts...Advice Please (From the benefit of experience)

Did your kilt help you pull?

  • Yes

    Votes: 0 0.0%
  • No

    Votes: 0 0.0%

  • Total voters
    0
#41
Outcast said:
Ps Danajou, can I see the vidoe of your missus being piped dow the aisle????? ;-)
To be honest I have no idea where it is... but don't tell her that :cry:

Edit Prick.... pick on a guy for one lousy typo. :p
 
#42
I've never pulled in a kilt. And I've never met a spam bird that 'loved' my accent either. Tosh! I wouldn't mind so much, but I'm a handsome fecker with a huge knob and a nice arrse... allegedly... so mother declares!
 
#43
BuckFelize said:
I've never pulled in a kilt. And I've never met a spam bird that 'loved' my accent either. Tosh! I wouldn't mind so much, but I'm a handsome fecker with a huge knob and a nice arrse... allegedly... so mother declares!

Awww buckie there there, im sure you have other qualities, ask your mum she might tell you what they are, being as modesty doesnt seem to be one of them...
 
#44
So what % of Jockinese do you have to be to carry this off without coming across as some sort of cross dressing William Wallace waltalike.

Half of my family are Scottish and recently my great Uncle came out to visit us in Muscat. He declared himself quite peeved that when we attended the Burns night I was not correctly attired with kilt etc.

All very well for him who sounds like those fellas off 'Still Game'. However I have an accent that whilst having a Zimbabwean twang can best be described as similar to Clive James, I am not ginger, but do like whisky, a lot. Should I leave well alone on the grounds described in the first paragraph or should I cut a dash in Scotlands finest??
 
#45
Zulu_w said:
So what % of Jockinese do you have to be to carry this off without coming across as some sort of cross dressing William Wallace waltalike.

Half of my family are Scottish and recently my great Uncle came out to visit us in Muscat. He declared himself quite peeved that when we attended the Burns night I was not correctly attired with kilt etc.

All very well for him who sounds like those fellas off 'Still Game'. However I have an accent that whilst having a Zimbabwean twang can best be described as similar to Clive James, I am not ginger, but do like whisky, a lot. Should I leave well alone on the grounds described in the first paragraph or should I cut a dash in Scotlands finest??
Wouldn't worry - you're more than qualified. Have a shufty on t'interweb at all the tartans that have 'appeared' or been 'rediscovered' to keep the highland dress shops going. If you went into the one that used to be on Princes Street with a name like Clinton Dwayne Cheeseburger III and a Noo Yawk accent that would cut concrete, they'd find a tartan for you. There's even an official USMC tartan knocking around. (Note, I'm not Septic-bashing, honest, but stop referring to all things Scots or Scottish as 'Scotch' and we'll get on fine).

It's not the accent, not the ginger tendency, or the desire to make your liver explode, it's the heritage.... and the excuse to wear a skirt and have half the women in the room check your tackle status.
 
#46
So, if you've got absolutely no Sweaty Sock nor any other Celtic blood in you, is it acceptable to wear a tartan to which you're not entitled purely for the purposes of trapping? Is it still waltishness, even when done for noble reasons?
 
#47
Missed a few pages so it may have been already stated, there is more than one tartan that anyone can wear, the standard Stewart, Logan & Black Watch (Government tartans, I may be wrong about Logan) however, the Scottish National and Flower of Scotland Tartans are also quite smart if you don't suit the Red of the Royal Stewart.
the 'Old Firm'also have their own, quite disgusting IMO.

I say fill your boots, how formal? would medals(minis) be expected/accepted? what style of Jacket, Prince Charlie, Argyle?
 
#48
You must always give the same answer to the question "what's worn under the kilt" thus ... "Nothing's worn, it's all in perfect working order!".
 
#49
"I'm a McDonald! Wanna see my quarterpounder?"




Coat please....
 
#50
Desk_Jockey said:
So, if you've got absolutely no Sweaty Sock nor any other Celtic blood in you, is it acceptable to wear a tartan to which you're not entitled purely for the purposes of trapping? Is it still waltishness, even when done for noble reasons?
I would say you need some Celtic blood in you?? But most things are acceptable when done for purposes of trapping!
 
#51
Glesga_short_bloke, quarterpounder indeed.. I'm more of a flamed grilled whopper myself

kilt.....

WW
 
#52
wheelchairwarrier said:
Glesga_short_bloke, quarterpounder indeed.. I'm more of a flamed grilled whopper myself

kilt.....

WW
*sniggers*
 
#53
Civvy_Shot said:
Zulu_w said:
So what % of Jockinese do you have to be to carry this off without coming across as some sort of cross dressing William Wallace waltalike.

Half of my family are Scottish and recently my great Uncle came out to visit us in Muscat. He declared himself quite peeved that when we attended the Burns night I was not correctly attired with kilt etc.

All very well for him who sounds like those fellas off 'Still Game'. However I have an accent that whilst having a Zimbabwean twang can best be described as similar to Clive James, I am not ginger, but do like whisky, a lot. Should I leave well alone on the grounds described in the first paragraph or should I cut a dash in Scotlands finest??
Wouldn't worry - you're more than qualified. Have a shufty on t'interweb at all the tartans that have 'appeared' or been 'rediscovered' to keep the highland dress shops going. If you went into the one that used to be on Princes Street with a name like Clinton Dwayne Cheeseburger III and a Noo Yawk accent that would cut concrete, they'd find a tartan for you. There's even an official USMC tartan knocking around. (Note, I'm not Septic-bashing, honest, but stop referring to all things Scots or Scottish as 'Scotch' and we'll get on fine).

It's not the accent, not the ginger tendency, or the desire to make your liver explode, it's the heritage.... and the excuse to wear a skirt and have half the women in the room check your tackle status.
You can choose whichever pattern that suits you IMO, after all the Chieftain many years ago simply picked the colour he fancied and called it "his Clan" tartan when some of his kin probably thinks it looks like something a dog vomited up, as some patterns do look like it has been conjured by a mad colour blind chieftain with Parkinsons !

so choose what suits you and like, there are many differing patterns to choose, Royal Stuart can be boring after a while, I prefer the Black Watch myself.
 
#54
Men in skirts - does what its says on the tin - my advice its ok if you want to be a sausage jockey
 
#55
legal_eagle said:
Upon leaving Her Majesty's Armed Forces I went to Liverpool Uni to study Law, maybe to defend Squaddies who have unfairly found themselves facing charges simply as the result of drunken high spirits!!

Anyway, I have a graduation ball next month and my mother (bless her) is very proud to have a graduate in the family and being from an Ulster/Scots family wants me to wear the family tartan.

I've never worn a kilt before and I'm looking at it more from a NAAFI bar / squaddy point of view than family history. This ball will be full of drunken young splits and there'll be very few if any of the lads wearing Kilts.

The question then obviously is, will it improve my chances of bagging one these little scutters??

What are your experiences? Any Jocks or Paddies, when you have gone to a black tie event in your tartan is it a magnet??

All advice gratefully received and if any of it helps me pull, free conveyancing next time you buy a house!!!
Depends on what's under it! and whether its a tree trunk or a match stick? But yes from a womans point of view a kilt would make me raise an eye brow! and if its a dish inside the kilt ... could raise my blood pressure too. :D
 
#56
Every time I have worn my Hunting Stewart (the government tartan that doesn't look like a travel rug!) kilt, I have had women gagging for my elderly though magnificient body. Recently I have added the refinement of black hose and shirt combo...it looks the dog's bollox. Green hose go well with HS too.

Even when I'm squiring TFB on my arm, women get super flirty with me...I know it isn't me, it must be the kilt - or maybe English women have an atavistic desire to be possessed by a reiving jock with weapon and fiery brand?? Oh and have their cattle pinched too presumably...
 

old_fat_and_hairy

LE
Book Reviewer
Reviews Editor
#57
Maybe not their cattle, just their asses?
 
#59
old_fat_and_hairy said:
Maybe not their cattle, just their asses?
Joking aside, even quite respectable women just seem unable to leave your butt alone and let their fingers do the walking! Filthy women are even worse; at the Marriott in Bristol one Hogmonay a Welsh slapper offered me immediate sex in a disabled toilet! My wife, albeit usually generous and friendly to a fault, politely asked her to feck off or enjoy a Mayo kiss...before then dragging me into the disabled loo for some New Year's Wa-hay!
 
Thread starter Similar threads Forum Replies Date
A The Intelligence Cell 221
squigeypie The NAAFI Bar 33
thegimp Military Clothing & Boots 58

Similar threads


Latest Threads

Top