Killing boredom at Bordon.

Ravers

LE
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#1
I'm off to Bordon for the next couple weeks on a course. I've been down there a few times but only ever for a couple of days at a time and always with other lads from my unit.

I have noticed that basically there is absolutely nothing to do down there, even my usual past time of drinking heavily is pretty difficult as the Corporal's bar is nearly always empty and the NAAFI is a no go area unless you are a part 1 trainee and have a penchant for sportswear and Reebok classics.

So what shall I do? Obviously I will attempt to make friends with the other people on my course, but if on the off chance they all turn out to be bell ends, what shall I do?

Any decent boozers nearby? Where can I trap a temporary wife for the duration of the course? etc. etc.

Any other tips for surviving Bordon?

I suppose I could just buy some porn and throw myself furiously round my room for two weeks. Failing that I'll have the car with me, so I might go on a mission to Pompey and smash some wrens for old time's sake.

Edited to add: Clearly knuckling down and studying the course subject at hand is completely out of the question.
 
#2
Woodlands? Just watch out for the pikeys.

The place isn't the same as it used to be with 4Bn moving out. There is no longer the delight of the Cue Club Rippers on weds.

Any advice depends on how long you're there for, but yeah, stay clear of the naafi as it is full of coplete scrotes.
 
#3
The Fox and Pelican - Greyshott:

http://www.grayshott.com/gdPage46.html

Used to be a good pub, filled with some absolutely filthy local talent. Had many a good night in there. Used to be Karaoke on a Monday, and it was rammed with minge.

Failing that.....the usual places in Farnham
 
#4
My sincere condolences. Bordon really is the pits for single guys. There's not even a unit away so there's no sex starved pads wives to bang either.
 
#5
Since you've got the motor,hopefuly a large collection of pon hard copy or Laptop.Then in the Pompey area your options are limitless.Since it is Summer and the prospect of throwing one up a WREN wo is surronded by "SEMEN" (oops SEAMEN) all day then I reccomend a Spot of DOGGING.As according to rumour the County of Hampshire is a HOTSPOT for this activity and not just NOCTURNALLY either.
This has the added benefit of the possibility of Multiple Course Wives,saving upon the chat up phase and avoiding the dreaded wake up with a Pikeys Reject in Bordon itself.
The only good thing to do in Bordon itself (IMHO) is get on the road out of there at every available oppertunity.
I am in complete agreement that to study and apply diligence to the course is a complete waste of time because there are more than likely going to be those types of individuals on your course.All you have to do is merely suggest friendship to one and make sure your sat next to him/her (If it is a her and not too hideous or clingy,the information exchange could have fringe benefits!) & bingo your course is as good as passed.
 
#6
REMEWOTAJOKE said:
Since you've got the motor,hopefuly a large collection of pon hard copy or Laptop.Then in the Pompey area your options are limitless.Since it is Summer and the prospect of throwing one up a WREN wo is surronded by "SEMEN" (oops SEAMEN) all day then I reccomend a Spot of DOGGING.As according to rumour the County of Hampshire is a HOTSPOT for this activity and not just NOCTURNALLY either.
This has the added benefit of the possibility of Multiple Course Wives,saving upon the chat up phase and avoiding the dreaded wake up with a Pikeys Reject in Bordon itself.
The only good thing to do in Bordon itself (IMHO) is get on the road out of there at every available oppertunity.
I am in complete agreement that to study and apply diligence to the course is a complete waste of time because there are more than likely going to be those types of individuals on your course.All you have to do is merely suggest friendship to one and make sure your sat next to him/her (If it is a her and not too hideous or clingy,the information exchange could have fringe benefits!) & bingo your course is as good as passed.
Say again all after "Since".......it looks like English.....but I can't make it out.
 

Ravers

LE
Kit Reviewer
Book Reviewer
#7
REMEWOTAJOKE said:
Since you've got the motor,hopefuly a large collection of pon hard copy or Laptop.Then in the Pompey area your options are limitless.Since it is Summer and the prospect of throwing one up a WREN wo is surronded by "SEMEN" (oops SEAMEN) all day then I reccomend a Spot of DOGGING.As according to rumour the County of Hampshire is a HOTSPOT for this activity and not just NOCTURNALLY either.
This has the added benefit of the possibility of Multiple Course Wives,saving upon the chat up phase and avoiding the dreaded wake up with a Pikeys Reject in Bordon itself.
The only good thing to do in Bordon itself (IMHO) is get on the road out of there at every available oppertunity.
I am in complete agreement that to study and apply diligence to the course is a complete waste of time because there are more than likely going to be those types of individuals on your course.All you have to do is merely suggest friendship to one and make sure your sat next to him/her (If it is a her and not too hideous or clingy,the information exchange could have fringe benefits!) & bingo your course is as good as passed.
I feel your sentiments about the County of Hampshire.

Portsdown hill, top doggery to be had up there.

As for passing the course, it's a done deal, I've done the matelot equivalent before, also I may have er....stumbled across a few past exam papers. :D
 
#8
The memories of that place will haunt me forever. Get out into Portsmouth (dorty hoowers) Farnham (middle class minge) or further afield Guildford. But as REMEWOTAJOKE said, "..get on the road out of there at every available oppertunity."
 

Ravers

LE
Kit Reviewer
Book Reviewer
#9
Also does anyone know what the accommodation is like these days? Last time they put me in a 12 man room with no lock on the door, broken glass all over the floor and the toilet seat smashed off the bog. The corridor outside the room appeared to be some sort of ash tray and congregation point for Glaswegian skinheads awaiting deportation to their Jock units.

If this is the case again, I'm sleeping in the car.
 
#10
Don't expect any change in the accommodation fella, that's been on hold for the past five years plus, as we're upping sticks and moving the whole site to St Athan in 2009.

Tuesday get down to the Woodlands for the Karaoke, Wednesday sporty at Frensham Pond (fanny everywhere), Thursday get out to Alton/Farnham/Guildford/Pompey. Friday get the fuck out of there and don't return until Monday morning.
 

Ravers

LE
Kit Reviewer
Book Reviewer
#11
spaz said:
Tuesday get down to the Woodlands for the Karaoke, Wednesday sporty at Frensham Pond (fanny everywhere), Thursday get out to Alton/Farnham/Guildford/Pompey. Friday get the fuck out of there and don't return until Monday morning.
Well that's my itinerary sorted, thanks for the advice!

As for the accom, do you reckon the badge will be cool with me putting up my teepee on the grass next to the parade square?
 
#12
Ravers said:
Also does anyone know what the accommodation is like these days? Last time they put me in a 12 man room with no lock on the door, broken glass all over the floor and the toilet seat smashed off the bog. The corridor outside the room appeared to be some sort of ash tray and congregation point for Glaswegian skinheads awaiting deportation to their Jock units.

If this is the case again, I'm sleeping in the car.
You might not be in the Mess this time though!

Laandan town aint too far on the train, as is Pompey. Alton will do for some bevvies and the rest has been said above.

Enjoy. It wont be there long seeing as its all moving to South Wales next week though.

Judging from the piccies too, the RSM of Arborfield didn't seem too bothered with you pitching by the lake so why not.
 
#13
Is there no successor to Peroxide Pat?
 
#14
Its tonk, pure unadulterated tonk.

Come up on a motorbike and the place isnt too bad.
You'll be in either Louisberg with the Royals, or the mess (depending on your rank)

They have their own bar up there, but the cookhouse has now closed, you'll have to wander into the main camp for scoff.
 
#18
Escape Bordon and lob it up anything that moves, slip into a coma or wnak yourself into oblivion. (I don't think I've missed any options.)
 
#19
Im currently at Bordon as a Phase 2. The NAAFI bar is sh1t, unless you have a penchant for slightly chubby asian birds who serve watered down beer in plastic cups. The nearest decent pint is Liphook at a place called The Royal Anchor, about 10 minutes by taxi. The local pikeys still regularly attempt to bottle people walking back up from Tesco. The quality of the fem talent here is comparable to a mexican transvestite competition. For a good night out you are talking Guildford or Portsmouth, or for desperate times at the end of the month Alton, which for about a £30 night out you can usually end up hanging out the back of a hippo. As for any of the local places, the Woodlark can normally be salvaged for one or two, but there is actually nowhere here.

Now it is only 10 Trg Bn here as well, seeing as 4Bn have moved to Tidworth, not long followed by 104Bn. As for accommodation, if you are in the block with us mangy scrotes then you will be in a 4/5 man room which isnt anything special or new, you may be in Louisberg accommodation if you are on an equipment course or the mess depending on rank. As for your teepee, there is no grass next to the parade square, only a large(ish) area right on the doorstep of RHQ which would make an ideal pitch.

Bring your car and get out of here at every chance you can, failing that lock the door, close the curtains and tug yourself till white sh1t comes out.

Hope this helps mate.








P.S. On the plus side one of the birds serving at the NAAFI shop has huge norks...
 
G

gemsipot

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#20
lol lol I'm so glad I booked out of Bordon on Monday, It was SO VERY uplifting...!

Never been to the NAFFI at nights, besides it's just full of kids learning to drink and silly young gilrs throwing themselfs at spotty young boys... can't blame them I suppose as there is actually nothing to do there AT ALL..!
 

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