Killing boredom at Bordon.

Discussion in 'REME' started by Ravers, Jun 24, 2010.

Welcome to the Army Rumour Service, ARRSE

The UK's largest and busiest UNofficial military website.

The heart of the site is the forum area, including:

  1. Ravers

    Ravers LE Reviewer Book Reviewer

    I'm off to Bordon for the next couple weeks on a course. I've been down there a few times but only ever for a couple of days at a time and always with other lads from my unit.

    I have noticed that basically there is absolutely nothing to do down there, even my usual past time of drinking heavily is pretty difficult as the Corporal's bar is nearly always empty and the NAAFI is a no go area unless you are a part 1 trainee and have a penchant for sportswear and Reebok classics.

    So what shall I do? Obviously I will attempt to make friends with the other people on my course, but if on the off chance they all turn out to be bell ends, what shall I do?

    Any decent boozers nearby? Where can I trap a temporary wife for the duration of the course? etc. etc.

    Any other tips for surviving Bordon?

    I suppose I could just buy some porn and throw myself furiously round my room for two weeks. Failing that I'll have the car with me, so I might go on a mission to Pompey and smash some wrens for old time's sake.

    Edited to add: Clearly knuckling down and studying the course subject at hand is completely out of the question.
  2. Woodlands? Just watch out for the pikeys.

    The place isn't the same as it used to be with 4Bn moving out. There is no longer the delight of the Cue Club Rippers on weds.

    Any advice depends on how long you're there for, but yeah, stay clear of the naafi as it is full of coplete scrotes.
  3. The Fox and Pelican - Greyshott:

    Used to be a good pub, filled with some absolutely filthy local talent. Had many a good night in there. Used to be Karaoke on a Monday, and it was rammed with minge.

    Failing that.....the usual places in Farnham
  4. My sincere condolences. Bordon really is the pits for single guys. There's not even a unit away so there's no sex starved pads wives to bang either.
  5. Since you've got the motor,hopefuly a large collection of pon hard copy or Laptop.Then in the Pompey area your options are limitless.Since it is Summer and the prospect of throwing one up a WREN wo is surronded by "SEMEN" (oops SEAMEN) all day then I reccomend a Spot of DOGGING.As according to rumour the County of Hampshire is a HOTSPOT for this activity and not just NOCTURNALLY either.
    This has the added benefit of the possibility of Multiple Course Wives,saving upon the chat up phase and avoiding the dreaded wake up with a Pikeys Reject in Bordon itself.
    The only good thing to do in Bordon itself (IMHO) is get on the road out of there at every available oppertunity.
    I am in complete agreement that to study and apply diligence to the course is a complete waste of time because there are more than likely going to be those types of individuals on your course.All you have to do is merely suggest friendship to one and make sure your sat next to him/her (If it is a her and not too hideous or clingy,the information exchange could have fringe benefits!) & bingo your course is as good as passed.
  6. Say again all after "Since" looks like English.....but I can't make it out.
  7. Ravers

    Ravers LE Reviewer Book Reviewer

    I feel your sentiments about the County of Hampshire.

    Portsdown hill, top doggery to be had up there.

    As for passing the course, it's a done deal, I've done the matelot equivalent before, also I may have er....stumbled across a few past exam papers. :D
  8. The memories of that place will haunt me forever. Get out into Portsmouth (dorty hoowers) Farnham (middle class minge) or further afield Guildford. But as REMEWOTAJOKE said, "..get on the road out of there at every available oppertunity."
  9. Ravers

    Ravers LE Reviewer Book Reviewer

    Also does anyone know what the accommodation is like these days? Last time they put me in a 12 man room with no lock on the door, broken glass all over the floor and the toilet seat smashed off the bog. The corridor outside the room appeared to be some sort of ash tray and congregation point for Glaswegian skinheads awaiting deportation to their Jock units.

    If this is the case again, I'm sleeping in the car.
  10. Don't expect any change in the accommodation fella, that's been on hold for the past five years plus, as we're upping sticks and moving the whole site to St Athan in 2009.

    Tuesday get down to the Woodlands for the Karaoke, Wednesday sporty at Frensham Pond (fanny everywhere), Thursday get out to Alton/Farnham/Guildford/Pompey. Friday get the fuck out of there and don't return until Monday morning.
  11. Ravers

    Ravers LE Reviewer Book Reviewer

    Well that's my itinerary sorted, thanks for the advice!

    As for the accom, do you reckon the badge will be cool with me putting up my teepee on the grass next to the parade square?
  12. You might not be in the Mess this time though!

    Laandan town aint too far on the train, as is Pompey. Alton will do for some bevvies and the rest has been said above.

    Enjoy. It wont be there long seeing as its all moving to South Wales next week though.

    Judging from the piccies too, the RSM of Arborfield didn't seem too bothered with you pitching by the lake so why not.
  13. Is there no successor to Peroxide Pat?
  14. Its tonk, pure unadulterated tonk.

    Come up on a motorbike and the place isnt too bad.
    You'll be in either Louisberg with the Royals, or the mess (depending on your rank)

    They have their own bar up there, but the cookhouse has now closed, you'll have to wander into the main camp for scoff.
  15. When did 4 Bn move out then? Where did it go to?