Killer

#4
What's green with 4 legs and kills people when it falls out of a tree?

A pool table.
Why would it kill people just because it falls out of a tree?

Is it some sort of mega pooltable that causes earthquakes, tsumanis and volcanic eruptions or does the speed of it falling cause vacuum injuries?

Please explain how a falling pool table can kill. Enquiring (and fucking bored)minds want to know?
 
#5
Why would it kill people just because it falls out of a tree?

Is it some sort of mega pooltable that causes earthquakes, tsumanis and volcanic eruptions or does the speed of it falling cause vacuum injuries?

Please explain how a falling pool table can kill. Enquiring (and fucking bored)minds want to know?
Is that like, if a tree falls over in a forest and nobody is there does it make a sound.
 
#7
Why would you keep a pool table in a tree?
Well monkeys have recreation time as well you know, all to do with their rights apparently.
 
#8
A couple of questions (a) Who put it in the tree? and (b) How did it fall out? These need to be established before we can see whose really to blame and then whether or not the joke is funny or not.
 
#9
A couple of questions (a) Who put it in the tree? and (b) How did it fall out? These need to be established before we can see whose really to blame and then whether or not the joke is funny or not.
Monkeys are more obsessed with stolen tv's arn't they?
 
#10
Well monkeys have recreation time as well you know, all to do with their rights apparently.
Well of course, left handed monkeys have a real problem playing pool. The table falling out of the tree doesn't help either.
 
#11
A couple of questions (a) Who put it in the tree? and (b) How did it fall out? These need to be established before we can see whose really to blame and then whether or not the joke is funny or not.
But that is down to the H&S investigation and the lack of safe working practice when installing arboreal pool tables for monkeys.
 
#12
Then surely this should be in the Health and Safety forum not Jokes. With an attitude like that towards health and safety this will get you into trouble young man ... more importantly, get someone killed.
 
#14
I think someone must establish a binding set of protocols for :

1. the storage of pool tables. (arborial/non-arborial elevation strategies.)
2. appropriate games for monkeys. (simian leisure pursuit strategy.)

Until such time as they have been established I would advise that no further pool tables be stored in trees, even if well-secured by registered arborial pool table storage specialists.

It's ok - as the competant authority for pool tables, HQ DRLC have sponsored a new course in pool table playing and maintenance (P&M) that will qualify all service personnel as competant and current to partake in such activities.

This will run along the lines of a 2-week course contracted out to Burroughes & Watts, using snooker tables as the training medium.

You will of course require conversion to pool tables at unit level, to be conducted by your unit Pool P&M instructors (course to follow).
 
#16
And someone should submit a GEMS highlighting the need to correctly secure such pool tables. That's got to be worth a £50 reward!
 
#17
What ever needs to be done. I'm scared to leave the house now in fear of being crushed by a pool table.
 
#18
So who is in charge of procurement for arboreal, monkey proof pool tables.
 
#19
Surely we can only write an SOP once an MJP has endorsed the lesson (re: pool tables in trees) - as raised on DLIMS - as a lesson that should be taken into core post transition in AFG. Pool table experiments will be conducted as part of Ex AGILE WARRIOR 13, but will be ignored when resources don't allow for enough trees. Experiments will continue, but using billiard tables for comparison.
 
#20
So who is in charge of procurement for arboreal, monkey proof pool tables.
We can't buy American pool tables off the shelf. We'll need to introduce a British 'billiards' capability, so these tables will be heavier, thus affecting the sorts of trees they can be placed in.

Who's going to draft the doctrine?

(Oops, crossed in the post with CrapSpy. Are you my dad?)
 

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