Killer response required

Discussion in 'The NAAFI Bar' started by TheSnake, Nov 14, 2007.

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  1. Right, I need some good old advice on how to put somebody down with a 'killer response'.
    An arguement has started between 2 parties about which particular dog grooming parlour to use. Opinions have varied, but 1 guy (who i shall refer to as Twatlips) is turning a bit nasty and threatening. There is no reference to my business yet, but i can see me being dragged into this.
    Before you ask, I know this is in the NAAFI, but where the hell else would i put it?

    Here are some extracts from the arguement :

    First post by Twatlips :
    ___________________________________________________________
    thought you may have heard of ****** *** (Company name removed) , took my Westie there and have to say very impressed with the care and the service , the clean well equipped salon was good to see , tables , clippers etc are all disinfected betweeen dogs , a must for me as always concerned as Westies can suffer with skin problems!!I was recommended by a client of mine who took her Border Terrier there for hand stripping , she was very happy with the end result , will say they are not the cheapest around but have tried those and have to say quality and care will always out, I am done with cheap, it never works out and my dog means more to me than a cheap clip , I was invited to inspect the salon and it was immaculate, the guy there is fully qualified , member of various professional bodies and very helpful , even showed my the correct way to groom my dog which noone had ever done before!!
    The shampoos and ear treatments are all of the best quality too , all in all a top service, easy parking, fully insured and am just glad I was put in the right direction , after 9 years of so so service I now have found the only one in surrey worth going to! Best of luck with your pet , remember cheap ain`t always good !!
    _____________________________________________________________

    Now, that is pretty good advice, i would agree with all he has said.

    Here's a response from a poster, who i will call 'Very Large Bint'...'cos she is :

    _____________________________________________________________
    I am sorry to say but I have to disagree with you. I have heard nothing but complaints about ****** *** (again, removed) - I have 2 border terriers who are hand stripped and when I was talking to my border terrier friends one said there dog had come back a nervous wreck from there they had even muzzled the dog. I used to go to ******** **** but decided to give ****** a try at **** ***** with my younger border terrier and he was very happy when he left and when he went back the other day for a quick face trim he was overjoyed to see him and he did not even charge me. I agree that cheapness is not always everything but I think kindness to the animal is and ****** has shown nothing but kindness to my 2 borders and they are always happy to see him which makes me feel good about leaving them. If you wish to see ******* salon he will show you and he does not have lots of dogs in at one time. It is obviously up to you who you use but I know who I would use.
    _____________________________________________________________

    Yay, go Very Large Bint !! Good plug for my Parlour !!

    There are now 2 responses from Twatlips that are just begging to be responded to :

    #1 :
    _____________________________________________________________
    Don`t Know Where This Person Gets Her Info But According To All I Have Spoken To ****** **** Has A Very Good Reputation As Being Very Caring, Especially With Nervous Pets , I Do Know Of A Few People Who Have Gone There Soley Because Their Pets Have Suffered From Clipper Burns, Badly Groomed And Very Stressed By Other Untrained `groomers`, This Nasty Thread Seems To Have Been Written By Some One Who Is Either Trying To Be A Groomer Or Someone Very Misinformed.for Those Of You Out There Who Read These Emails May I Say That Judge For Yourself, Check Out Premises, Ask At Local Vets And Find Out All You Need Before You Leave Your Pet Anywhere, ****** **** Is Only One Place I Would Ever Consider In This Area , Its Such A Shame That Someone Can Write Something Hiding Behind A `tag` Name And The People She Is Damaging Have No Way To Defend Themselves, If You Want Your Dog Done On The Cheap Then Fine, Don`t Complain When The Dog Is Stressed, Badly Groomed Or Clipped When You Are Told Its Been Handstripped , If You Expect To Pay £25.00 For A Full Groom On A Westie For Example Then You Are Asking For Trouble!!in London The Minimum Is £45.00 A Good Salon Will Charge On Average £35, ****** *** Charges £32 For 2 Hours , Not Bad In My Book Considering They Use Only Top Canine Products ,never Have Cages Of Poor Dogs Getting Stressed Out Waiting Their Turn , Have Clean Safe Premises , Clippers , Brushs And Tables Disinfected After Each Client And Fully Insured, I Do Know However They Have Turned Away A Few Dogs Which Are So Badly Groomed And Matted Simply Because They Will Not Put The Dog Through Torture As When In Such A Bad State They Really Need To Be Done At A Vets As Its Too Stressful And May Need Sedating In Able To Do Such Dematting Round Mouths , Eyes, Feet ,in One Case Everywhere!
    Does That Sound Like The People You Are Slagging Off, You Should Be Ashamed Of Yourself , Your Not Another Dodgy `self Taught` Groomer By Any Chance Are You, Bet Your Not A Member Of The Petcare Trust Or Dog Groomers Assc Either!! If You Have Proof Of What You Say Then Put It Down For All To See Otherwise Get A Life And Stop Being So Nasty About Something You Either Know Nothing About , I Do Happen To Know Quite A Few People Who Go To This Salon Because They Have Had Very Unhappy Experiences In Other Places, Not All Groomers Are Wonderful As Not All Are Usless , Allow Others To Judge For Themselves , You Could Do A Lot Of Damage With Such Unkind And Unfounded Claims And If You Are Found Out You May Well Get A A Letter From A Solicitor For Defamation.
    _____________________________________________________________

    Hence the name i have given him......
    I do have all necessary certificates, and am also a member of the above associations. I will add these to my response to him.
    And, not waiting for a response, he sends #2. All in upper case, and acting like WWIII has started :

    _____________________________________________________________
    AM SO INCENSED BY THE IMPLICATION THAT THOSE AT ****** **** ARE OTHER THAN KIND AND CARING TO ALL THEIR CLIENTS THAT AGAIN ONE CAN ONLY ASSUME THAT THIS NAST ATTACK ON A BUSINESS THAT CAN ONLY BE ONE OF THE MOST CARING AND CAREFUL SALONS I AND MANY OTHERS KNOW OF IS BY SOMEONE WHO EITHER HAS BEEN TURNED AWAY BY THEM OR ITS BY SOME `GROOMER` WHO THINKS THIS IS THE WAY TO TAKE A WAY BUSINESS, IETHER WAY ITS VERY UNPROFESSIONAL AND SO VERY UNFAIR TO A BUSINESS THAT HAS MANY VEY HAPPY AND SATISFIED CLIENTS, IT IS NOTED THAT THE WRITER OF THE OFFENDING THREAD TAKES HER BORDER TERRIERS TO SOMEONES HOME TO DO, A GOOD HAND STRIP TAKES 2-3 HOURS , DEPENDING ON THE DOG, IF ITS USED TO BEING GROOMED THAT IS, DIFFICULT TO FIND GROOMERS TO DO THIS NOW AS VERY TIME CONSUMING AND EXPENSIVE AND NOT MANY OWNERS WISH TO PAY FOR THIS SERVICE , i HAVE A FRIND WHO HAS HER BORDER TERRIER DONE , ALONG WITH QUITE A FEW OTHERS , AT ****** ****, YOU CAN FIND HER REVIEWS ON OTHER WEBSITES, IT CLEARLY SPEAKS FOR ITSELF
    SO PLEASE DO NOT BE PUT OFF BY THE SHAMEFUL AND UNWARRANTED ATTACK ON A FINE BUSINESS BY SOME ONE HIDING BEHAIND THERE PC.
    SHE SOUNDS A VERY UNIFORMED AND INEXPERIENCED DOG OWNER/LOVER
    WHO EVEN ADMITS SHE WAS `TOLD` BY SOMEONE, SO IT WOULD APPEAR SHE ACTUALLY DOESN`T EVEN KNOW OF THE PEOPLE SHE IS TALKING SO BADLY OF! HOW TYPICAL OF THE TIMES WE LIVE IN AND HOW VERY SAD AND HURTFUL, WHAT HAS ****** **** DONE TO YOU , WE WOULD ALL LIKE TO KNOW AS I WILL PASS THIS ON TO THEM AND MAYBE THEN PERHAPS THEY WILL BE ABLE TO ADRESS YOUR CLAIMS DIRECTLY FOR ALL TO SEE , THAT SEEMS A MUCH FAIRER WAY DON`T YOU THINK?
    _____________________________________________________________

    So, I need Input to an intelligent, measured response. Bear in mind i am only a humble ex-tankie who was not first in line for the brains....Maybe i was waiting in the knob line for that extra few Inches?

    Swearing would obviously not be an option in my Initial reply to him, but hey, I can do editing without any problems

    Ladies and Gents, in your own time.......


    Thanks
    Snake

    (I know NAAFI rules apply, and will take the Incoming)
     
  2. How about you put it in The Hole?
     
  3. Dog grooming, is that like child grooming?
     
  4. That did tickle me, although does it carry the same sentence as a guest of Her Majesty? If not it might be worth researching.
     
  5. Forget a killer response. Fire bomb his shop!
     
  6. I got as far as 'dog grooming parlour' before quickly losing the will to live, although I nearly gave up at 'arguement.'
     
  7. You should have stuck with tank's
     
  8. Me too, I think it's something about dogs? :?
     
  9. This thread of off the scale of my "couldn't give a fuck-o-meter"... wow
     
  10. This is going to get some serious flak when MDN happens upon it
     
  11. As long as the parlour isn't next to a Thai restaurant, why should anyone worry?
     
  12. Why don't you contact the other salon owner, point out what you have seen/heard and make them aware of it if they are not already aware?
    You will both know each other I'm sure on a professional basis so why not put out a joint-statement on the thread sating that neither of you are the protagonists and that have you nothing but the highest respect for one another? And just let the ranters get on with it.

    I apologise now for this boring, sensible and totally un-NAAFI-like reply and normal service will now be resumed.

    Dog-grooming? You big girl. :wink:
     
  13. sor rry if my tiiiping is badd. Haffwaaiy thru reading the fiiirst posst I scratchhed my eyyyeeeess out. Fek me, I just stopped caring about your plight.
     
  14. gayer than a hair stylist in brighton
     
  15. You have waaayyy too much spare time.