Kenya training area

Discussion in 'The Training Wing' started by conco, Apr 19, 2009.

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  1. Not having been there before, need a few answers!!

    1. As Temp staff whats the accom like?
    2. Internet? can we get any on own laptops or have access to any?
    3. Phones? No Op phones so how much does it cost to Germany?
    4. LOA for temp staff how much these days?
    5. Uniform? Whats good to take as dont want black boots in heat?

    Any other thing that is good to have and what to take apart from sun cream and mozzy net!
  2. Went there a long time ago. So I couldn't tell you about most of the accom/t'internet phone thing but, we were briefed to go and buy cheap trainers/jeans for bargaining chips with the locals for carvings etc. Also don't touch the women for obvious reasons and if you kit isn't nailed down expect it to be stolen by one of the locals.

    Also for a good book to read while you are over there as it is centred on Kenya/Sudan and Zaire as well as Germany and the USA try this I picked it up years ago on an op tour in West Belfast but you can get it from amazon cheaply. It highlights the don't touch issue. Not that I want to put you off or anything.
  3. When you say 'temp staff' do you mean in Kahawa Bks, nr Nairobi or in NSG - Nanyuki Show Ground?
  4. I've only been there as an exercise so i'll answer a couple of questions

    1. As Temp staff whats the accom like?

    2. Internet? can we get any on own laptops or have access to any?
    I'm not sure about the facilities available to the BATUK staff in Nairobi, however you can buy Safaricom dongle for your laptop, i don't how good the service or cost is though. Safaricom dongle thing

    3. Phones? No Op phones so how much does it cost to Germany?
    I bought a Safaricom phone for about 2500KSH which is roughly £25. I only used it for texts. One of my mates was getting about 45 minutes to the UK with 1000KSH of credit.

    4. LOA for temp staff how much these days?
    5. Uniform? Whats good to take as dont want black boots in heat?
  5. You wont need any of this stuff - you will be too busy shagging Alesha Dixon lookalikes in the Sportsmans Bar or The Jambo House Hotel.

    These places are in Nanyuki by the way - to save you searching.
  6. Alesha Dixon lookalikes ?? Christ things have changed !! I remember them trooping in out of the ulu after a wash in a stream and a brush of their hair with a bush skunk, and after they had taken the nose bones and lip plates out !!

    My little beaut was called 'cream', you can tell she was all heart as she made me double bag and would not let me have a little lick of her shiny pink lady garden !! I fell out of love when I found out my oppo had made her do a handstand against the room wall while he p*ssed on her !! :cry: :D

    They must be bussing in from Mombassa now surely !!
  7. Does Big Gracie still run the show..........
  8. Ah, Kahawa barracks, home of the QM mentality...
  9. Alas the Jambo is no more. On a plus side, Grace and her 'girls' just upped shop to the Riverside. I fcuking love been squashed into a tiny, hot, airless room, complete with sperm sodden sheets and 3 hooers stabbing at each other's gaping holes with Tusker bottles. The dream was completed when I noticed Karposis sarcoma (AIDS lesions) all over one of their bodies.

    Note to all frequenters of Kenyan sex shows - Double your fun by pointing at AIDS victims and shouting 'You've got skinny disease, you're going to die' before laughing hysterically and urinating all over her and the bed.
  10. deid. :cry: :cry: :cry: :cry:
  11. i was out there last year.

    NSG had an internet suite.

    Safaricom was good for texting as stated & there are prefixes you can put in front of kenyian mobile numbers which make it cheaper to phone from a landline, W-1 used this to phone me.

    Accm in Nairobi is good but not the Mae West in NSG & if you end up in Archers Post it is a tin shack.

    but you will be far too busy drinking Tusker to worry about all of that sh1te.
  12. I was there 11 years ago,I would imagine Nayuki is still an AIDS ridden shitehole now as it was then.
    I sold a crappy old Matsui cd player covered in whitener to the Sportsmans Bars owners son for £80,and I swapped my cheap plastic Argos watch for a hand carved soap stone chess set.
    My advice would be to buy a lot of cheap tat in the UK to exchange for carvings,etc. You never know,you might even meet a local with a bit of cash to spend.
    The local kids drive you f ucking nuts on the short walk from NSG to the Riverside. An idea is for each bloke in your group to hire one of the biggest kids as a "body guard",they in turn usually keep all the other kids from pestering you (the big f uck off machete down their trousers usually helped) A few Kenyan shillings,coke,crisps and 20 fags was the going rate if I can recall.
  13. They're easy to find too. Just ask for 'John Barnes' or 'Ken Barlow'
  14. Or my personel favorite........"Fuckthepope". (I wonder what regiment gave him that name?)
  15. terroratthepicnic

    terroratthepicnic LE Reviewer Book Reviewer
    1. ARRSE Runners

    There was a local lad who went round telling everyone he was a cockney w4nker, which was amuzing.

    While there you must try and fit as many peole into a taxi as possible, we managed 6 on the back seat, 2 on the front passenger seat with myself and one other on the roof rack of an orange VW beetle. Also they have these carts that they pull along which are used as taxi's, we used to pile as many as possible on 2 or more then get them to race back the NSG, after telling them that the losers won't get paid.

    If you do venture out to Archers post or mupala farm, make sure your tents are sealed shut at night, or you will be awoken by the noise of Baboons raiding your tent, which is neither fun or endearing.