Keeping tabs on "Suspicious foreigners"

Discussion in 'The Intelligence Cell' started by BounceBanana, Jul 28, 2013.

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  1. Foreign 'hooligans' embarrass AWB | News | Mail & Guardian

    This appears to be the South Africa end of the Ramsgate Harbour saga 1994. With names involving Kock and Kuntz one would have thought more would have been made of the tale in British literary circles such as ARRSE.

    But spare a thought for Kent Special Branch. Some people give Kent Plod such a hard time the PCC has complained that force morale is suffering.

    Imagine Kent Special Branch "Got an email here via Interpol Liaison at Scotland Yard"

    "Is that about BB again asking how he acquired copies of their communications last time he was mentioned ? He allegedly conned that paramilitary the tel number was a Panorama office wanting to make a dramatized documentary and there would be payments for experienced military to stage the firefight scenes. All the furore when the walts kept phoning Interpol Scotland Yard, asking for a part on what should be a judiciary and police only telephone number"

    "No Guv Scotland Yard thought that was standard mate. BB allagedly gave them all codenames for the walts to ask for. All names of beers. This communication it is from the Mandela Regime. Taking steps to address matters of suspicious foreigners"

    "I'll dictate a reply. Dear Colleagues Mandela Regime Law Enforcement Fraternal Greetings. We have suspicious foreigners arriving by the lorry load at Dover daily. In the spirit of co-operation please advise what f-cking steps you have in mind. Best wishes Kent Guv"

    The South Africans reply "The plans of the suspicious foreigners were to join security to breach security. On the MO of your own Deal Barracks. One at least had gained a security guard position here. Mr Deuster. So one step you could take would be closer liaison with your SIA concerning bodyguard training enterprises."

    Kent Special Branch reply "Oh no not Shortty again"

    South Africans response "We were thinking more google Ronald Deuster and Shamrock Security and Bodyguard Training Bristol"

    Kent Special Branch " BB tells us that a Mr Deuster has letters published in our local press from an address Royal Temple Yacht Club Ramsgate. But we have never seen since 1994 what possible relevance Ramsgate Harbour could have."

    South African response "Have you ever investigated though innit"
  2. You are a strange man
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  3. Coming soon on channel 4's grand designs the Bounce Bananananana house
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  4. Hacked into Kent Police surveillance file on Bounce Banananananananana. He had Special K for breakfast and an Apple.
  5. They're just waiting, watching...
  6. ... from Greggs.
  7. Sedatives in the sausage rolls...
  8. I don't think his head was painted on the right way.
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  9. Nah, his brain has always been full of lime jelly.
  10. At least they didn't put parsley in his egg sandwich. Stick to cress, you know it makes sense.
  11. Applying the foil too late in life.
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  12. 2008? My daughter too, the bastards.
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  13. He watched too much Glee. It turned his eyes upside down.