Karma/Just Retribution - Whatever

Discussion in 'The NAAFI Bar' started by dave8307, Jan 14, 2010.

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  1. I think everyone has a story where someone they know receives their comeuppance and think smugly "Ha ha, got the bastard"....well, here's my story - it may be a little long but I have to set the scene.....

    My brother-in-law is a Neanderthal and a bully - he has been married to G*** for nearly 40 years and frequently made her life a misery with his petty arguments and general shitty attitude. He is an artisan, ask him to build something and he will majik something up far superior to what you wanted originally, but normally speaks in monosyllables or grunts and treats G*** like shit. Doesn't like me 'cos every since he's known me I've been into IT and therefore not a REAL man and below contempt.

    Over the last couple of years he's had difficulty talking (not that he spoke much anyway) due to nodules appearing on his vocal chords and these have been shaved off when they became too large. However, the ops have ceased because each op further damages the chords.

    Prior to Christmas he lost his voice again and after a series of exploratory examinations the docs found a lump behind his breastbone which was malignant. He had to undergo chemo over a 4 day period which left him "shattered" and so he took great advantage of this and "malingered". He actually showed Mrs Dave his legs and complained he'd lost so much weight that his legs were like matchsticks and he consequently couldn't walk more than a couple of steps and so G*** waited on him hand and foot.

    Yesterday he had a meeting with his oncologist in Liverpool. Because of the inclement weather Mrs Dave asked sis if she wanted me to drive. "No, I don't want Dave and him in the same car 'cos Dave will go ballistic if he moans", so sis drove with hubby in the front seat and Mrs Dave in the back - so that she could get a wheelchair whilst G*** parked the car.

    Got to the hospital and Mrs Dave got the wheelchair. He moaned and groaned and grumbled because she couldn't get the chair close to the car and she had to support him over the short distance to the wheelchair. At the oncologist waiting area Mrs Dave & G*** could only park him up against a wall in a walkway - cue BIL pushing the chair into the walkway area and when told he was obstructing people said "Bugger them, I'm more important than they are". Cue Mrs Dave & G***s mouth dropping about 20 feet.

    When called into the oncologist office G*** told him to stay in the chair as the oncologist had to see the pathetic state of him. First words of oncologist "What the hell are you doing in a wheelchair - there's nothing wrong with you that affects you walking".

    After that BIL actually walked from the office, over the road to the car park and has worked his little socks off. G*** was rightly incandescent to find out he'd been playing up and treating her like a slave.

    Anyone else got any stories where Karma is realised??
     
  2. Persec y'know (touches side of nose)

    No surgery, only one bout of chemo......problem is he decided he was too ill to walk anywhere and insisted on a wheelchair to take him to the oncologist office.

    Come on, folks its about Karma, not about picking holes in me story
     
  3. Its not really Karma though is it? If the ilness had turned him physically into a paralysed state, but mentally still all there, "locked in" so to speak, and Gollum had taken to entertaining men in front of him, him being unable to intervene to stop a succession of young, erect thrusting men from filling her to the brim with sex sauce, that would be karma! As it was, it was only probably mildly embarassing for the tw4t.
     
  4. Her name is really Gary and I claim my £10
     
  5. ...he's been fcuking "locked in" as long as I've known him - FFS saying "Good morning" is a marathon speech for him. :x

    There's quite a few posters on here, including myself, who have been affected with cancer and I think I can speak for them when I say you've got to fight it, not succumb.

    He hasn't given up, per se, he's just playing on the fact he's got cancer and no-one, i repeat, no-one has ever had cancer before and therefore he can swing the lead and he is trying to elicit sympathy from those near to him.
     
  6. Well, it's certainly too dull to be bullshit. Could you not have sauced it up a bit with a few references to Gopping bint rubbing dog shit into his spasming face and you setting fire to his eyebrows to find out how fucked he is?
     
  7. About 10 years ago me and me Dad were driving into work early one morning. The roads were dodgy due to a heavy frost and light snow.

    We were doing around 40mph on the approach to a bend and were slowing when a plastic pig came from nowhere and shot past us and off round the bend out of site.

    About another half mile down the road round another bend we could see the tailgate of said plastic pig, upside down in a hedgerow at the side of the road.

    We pulled over to see a small man with snow white hair climbing out the back. The only words he said for the first 5 minutes were "Fcuk Me!!" Did we laugh? Haven't pissed meself that much in a long while!

    Possibly nothing to do with Karma or OP..................
     
  8. Ah, i see! In that case, please be kind enough to let him know that i couldn't give a fuck will you? Much appreciated.

    Seriously though, im not sure what you are trying to get at with this thread. So, i'll probably just fuck off myself before you or anyone else has to bother doing it for me.
     
  9. I suppose true irony might be if you die before him and he makes you a Gucci coffin, the best in all the land, because he thought you were the best BIL a bloke could have.
     

  10. Plastic pig as in some sort of bizarre childs money box, or pastic pig as in the Reliant Robin 3 wheeler ?




    First option would be funnier :p
     
  11. Perhaps the poor chap had been having a go on a children's' merry-go-round, and the porcine conveyance had come adrift, taking him with it?
     
  12. If you'd said it was a Reliant Robin I'd have been greatly amused instead of wondering what a plastic pig was, never mind. ;)
     
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  14. Ive talked 3 women into having an abortion, one tummy troubled teen was tied up with verbal reasoning in the pouring rain at a bus stop in Plymouth and duly queefed it out the following Friday with only her Mum for company and one was so thoroughly ashamed at my indifference she terminated forthwith then rang me making a t*t of herself and screaming abuse from outside Stonehouse....

    I'm now 2 years into spilling my watered down and low calorie sperm into a seemingly equal and unservicably defunct womb.... :cry: :cry: ect ect