Discussion in 'Current Affairs, News and Analysis' started by Juvenal, Apr 4, 2005.
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Taken from the Torygraph:
And all is peace and tranquility in rural England....
Sounds like the plot of most episodes of Midsummer Murders.
Police called to hunt pitch saboteur?? They never turned up to pitch hunt saboteurs though did they??
I would imagine that the prime suspect is someone with two budgerigars, a pair of macrame driving gloves, a highly polished Corsa ("the car that says you know fcuk-all about motoring"), retired with too much time on his hands and who holds the local record for complaints to the PCCC, letters to the local paper and turns his hose on children if they play at dB levels just in the audible range. No, I am not Cracker but I did grow up in a village like Fulmer...I will of course share this profiler information with the TVP in return for an enormous emolument.
Bet the local B&Q daily store figures recently enjoyed a hefty profit
Is the sound of willow on leather - as opposed to leather on willow - a bondage thing?
We had a batch like this in my village. She would wait in her garden and stab about four footballs a week then throw then over the fence to us and laugh. If we went in to her garden she would chase us out with a cane. As I grew older I would slow down a little just to hear the swish (but that is another story). Anyway, she died but was so unpopular that she remained in her house undiscovered for three weeks. Suspicion was only aroused after we commented to our parents that we had not had a ball punctured for some time. The police came and had a look around the house. As they entered her cat ran out. Yes, you have guessed it. The cat looked rather over fed.
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