Just not cricket.

#1
Taken from the Torygraph:

Cricketers call police to hunt pitch saboteur
By Stewart Payne
(Filed: 04/04/2005)

It may be someone who cannot stand the sound of leather on willow. Or a villager whose window has been broken once too often by a stray ball.

But someone in the village of Fulmer is so incensed by the local cricket club that the team's once-beautiful pitch has been sabotaged with weed killer.

The lush green square, so lovingly tended, started to develop ugly orange blotches a few days ago as the grass started to wither and die.

With the beginning of the season less than a month away, the club has been left struggling to cut a strip that will be fit to play on.

"It is heartbreaking," said Tim L' Angellier, 43, who has played for Fulmer for 22 years and has opened the batting for the last 15. "Someone has a grudge against us but we do not know why."
And all is peace and tranquility in rural England.... 8O
 
#2
Sounds like the plot of most episodes of Midsummer Murders.
 
#3
Police called to hunt pitch saboteur?? They never turned up to pitch hunt saboteurs though did they??

I would imagine that the prime suspect is someone with two budgerigars, a pair of macrame driving gloves, a highly polished Corsa ("the car that says you know fcuk-all about motoring"), retired with too much time on his hands and who holds the local record for complaints to the PCCC, letters to the local paper and turns his hose on children if they play at dB levels just in the audible range. No, I am not Cracker but I did grow up in a village like Fulmer...I will of course share this profiler information with the TVP in return for an enormous emolument.
 
#6
Cuddles said:
Police called to hunt pitch saboteur?? They never turned up to pitch hunt saboteurs though did they??

I would imagine that the prime suspect is someone with two budgerigars, a pair of macrame driving gloves, a highly polished Corsa ("the car that says you know fcuk-all about motoring"), retired with too much time on his hands and who holds the local record for complaints to the PCCC, letters to the local paper and turns his hose on children if they play at dB levels just in the audible range. No, I am not Cracker but I did grow up in a village like Fulmer...I will of course share this profiler information with the TVP in return for an enormous emolument.
We had a batch like this in my village. She would wait in her garden and stab about four footballs a week then throw then over the fence to us and laugh. If we went in to her garden she would chase us out with a cane. As I grew older I would slow down a little just to hear the swish (but that is another story). Anyway, she died but was so unpopular that she remained in her house undiscovered for three weeks. Suspicion was only aroused after we commented to our parents that we had not had a ball punctured for some time. The police came and had a look around the house. As they entered her cat ran out. Yes, you have guessed it. The cat looked rather over fed. :evil: :evil:
 
Thread starter Similar threads Forum Replies Date
eye_spy The NAAFI Bar 9
R Sports, Adventure Training and Events 17
G AGC, RAPTC and SASC 12

Similar threads

Latest Threads

Top