Just how gay is my car?

Discussion in 'The ARRSE Hole' started by theoriginalphantom, Oct 5, 2007.

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  1. I've had to admit it that the bike, while large and comfy - doesn't do what i need it to. collecting the mini Phantom from nursery isn't possible on the bike so I've gone looking for a cheap little car.

    ...and I bought a gay one.

    Its cheap (not a bargain as thats what girls look for) so thats hetro

    Its red (which hasn't faded into pink) so thats hetro

    no power steering, hetro

    1.9 diesel engine - no turbo so that cancels itself out

    now the really really bad points

    Its a renault (French gay) and worse than that, its a clio(gayety gay).

    So, is it too embarrassing to be seen in public with? Should I become a hairdresser?

    Bring on the abuse, or admit your own suspect car choices.

    moved. mk
  2. Sixty

    Sixty LE Moderator Book Reviewer
    1. ARRSE Cyclists and Triathletes

    Couple of years back. I decided that something small and nippy would be ideal around town. So a week or so later I went out and bought a Vauxhall Tigra (black with tinted windows).

    God, I looked a dick. A hairdressing dick at that.
  3. TOPs, you really should be asking Dale this question as she has a knack for sniffing out all things hermer.
  4. TheIronDuke

    TheIronDuke LE Book Reviewer

    I've heard the quiche recipies in the Owners Handbook are a delight and can be knocked up in a trice?

    Your only hope is to make a bumper sticker. "Please refer smartarse comments to the crowbar under my seat"
  5. Even Hairdressers wouldn't be seen dead in a clio!! You're not gay big fella, you've just got pants taste in cars. Did no one tell you the french words for diarrhoea, gaylord, and bummer are Renault, Citroen, and Peugeot respectively.

    I have a 14 year old Audi 100 with 178000 on the clock, it's also an estate, so that makes me a granda....I'm only 30 and three quarters....honest! I was still drinking 2 litre bottles of cider when it first hit the road.

    Still have the motorbike though to make me feel 15 again!!
  6. the_boy_syrup

    the_boy_syrup LE Book Reviewer

    For the car
    Options 1 and 2 need to be combined
    Put a big fukc off exhaust on it
    Tint the window
    Lexus lights are a must
    Smear bits of filler everywhere
    Turn banging soundtrack up to 12 turn bass to full
    Sit next to Ferrari/Porsche/TVR at traffic lights and rev the thing like fukc so it rocks from side to side

    For the driver
    A sovereign ring for every finger
    A baseball cap worn at a jaunty angle
    Look at every one as though they are a piece of cr4p
    Call every one chief,brother,ma hommie or geezer

    Optional extras
    When parked blend in with your sorroundings by tipping empty cartons from the complete McDonalds menu out of the window
  7. I drive a fcuk off great big 6.2 V8 diesel Chevy Blazer.It eats gay cars.
  8. msr

    msr LE

  9. are we a tad overcompensating a bit big tache like lumberjacking :twisted:
  10. I drive a MX-5...been told it was gay...punched the guys head in!

    prob solved

  11. msr

    msr LE

    Why? Do you have a problem with your sexuality?

  12. It may eat gay cars, but may have problems catching them if the road has bends in it!!!!

    Or there isn't a petrol station every 500 yards!!!!

    Admit it you only bought it because the engine is a similar size to a Chally!!!!


    You mean you slapped him, and then had a hissy fit because you hurt your hand. It was okay though, because while crying in the toilet someone filled your hoop with a pork sword and you felt better about the whole thing?

  13. And here it is[​IMG]
  14. congratulations TOP, that must be your first tentative step out of the closet.

    you were that far in the closet your were only a step away from narnia.....you puff