Just got my 3rd!

Discussion in 'Army Reserve' started by scott8629, Sep 10, 2005.

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  1. I have reently been promoted to Sgt and I know I will have to grow up a but but what other stuff can I expect. I dont really know what goes on at the mess do's as I have refused to wait on when I was a young soldier.

    What can I expect good and bad?

  2. expect to be spit roasted by two burly men with huge moustaches.

    expect to have your testicles covered in a) boot polish or b) toothpaste (your preference)

    expect to be stiched up by practical jokers at every mess function

    you know that three hundred quid mess kit you've got to get? expect to have a sleeve torn off during a game of mess rugby.

    hope this helps.
  3. Best advise... find your self a copy of your regimental mess rules ... read it and then forget it... just enjoy your self, you have made your way into one of the worlds most exclusive drinking clubs.

    Keep your eyes open, all the old sweats will be trying to catch you out, port fines are a real pain, but if handeled correctly by your BSM/CSM/RSM they can be a good laugh.
  4. Port fines?
    I dont mind the stuff, can you please expalin.
  5. Various infringements of the rules (these are written in pencil and are often changed without notice) can result in being "fined" payment being a bottle of port to the mess.

    Top tip hide your name card from where your sitting.
  6. Only if an RADC person is there :D
  7. Actaully thats quite pleasent
  8. never sit on a chair that someone offers to you. always swap it if you can. likewise your glass has almost certainly been tampered with.

    ..I'm sure someone wipes there arse on the rim of mine everytime. Hey Ho.
  9. Think back to when you got your first stripe. Your friends disowned you and you had to make new friends among the JNCOs. You had to prove yourself to both ORs and JNCOs.

    You now have to go through the same procedure but here there is a major difference. Until someone else is promoted from Cpl to Sgt, you will be the junior mess member. While you retain this lowly status, you will be the butt of jokes and pranks. It's nothing personal, just tradition. Take it with grace and humour, just as everyone else in the mess has had to at one time. Take advice where it is offered - it will often come from unexpected directions. Everyone is equal in the Mess, but remember that some are still more equal than others.

    The Mess Rule Book contains all of the Mess rules except one. This is the most important one, never to be forgotten, hence the reason why it doesn't need to be written down. Most messes have this rule inscribed somewhere in the Bar. "Whatever is said in the Mess, stays in the Mess." You can break most of the other rules once or twice and get away with it, but this one doesn't offer a second chance.

    Congratulations, you're now a member of one of the most select groups in the world, revered by most ranks of most armies. Enjoy it and don't abuse it.
  10. Which lot are you with then?
  11. Hope you have a large and strong bladder, for when the speaches start you WILL need to go. When your Vice keep the jokes short and funny. Best of luck!

  12. Always good but perhaps you can now see why it is a good thing to wait on ?

    If your successors in the JR club are equally stroppy then you will be getting big mess bills for hiring professional waiting staff - what comes around goes around.

    Hope you enjoy it - I did
  13. will there be double standards when expecting juniors to wait on at functions that youll have to organse?

    expect to be Mr Vice, get leathered, enjoy, oh and dont be a prick to mess staff and those juniors who have very kindly volunteered to wait on.
  14. It is shit. So much bullsh*t at mess functions. Cant go for a p*ss, port bottle cant leave the table. And you have to fork out hundreds of quid for a red suit to get covered in wine and vomit and have the knees ripped out from where you slide across the floor. You have more expectation of you, and after the euphoria of power, etc. You will realise that some of your best friends are stuck in th OR's bar whilst you hob nob with idiots who you couldnt stand before. I wish i was a full screw....
    Not that its happened to me or anything!
  15. mobile phones taped under tables

    talc or flour in napkins

    chairs tied to tables

    im a junior NCO that waiters on pretty often :)