Just for one day...

Discussion in 'The NAAFI Bar' started by Snow_White, Nov 1, 2004.

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  1. What would you do, and where would you go if you could be a member of the opposite sex, for just one day?

    I always feel this is a somewhat unfair question to ask men, since it would presumably be at least 4pm before you managed to get out of the shower...
     
  2. funny was just about to say, "have a lie in, play with myself, try shopping as a hobby and then visit ann summers"

    Rincewind
     
  3. That still leaves the whole evening... Who would you want to pick up?

    Boy? Girl? Both?
     
  4. Why get either when you can just play with a rampant rabbit?
     
  5. Yes but that is normal for you Ant :wink:
     
  6. Could the answer be any simpler than to indulge in a spot of lesbianism for the day??
     
  7. Not for me thanks.

    If I had to be a bloke for the day, I would walk round nekked and scratch myself and trump - no different to any other day really!!!
     
  8. LOL Dale!
    Ok Stab in the Dark, I know all about you ..... already!!! hehe 8)
     
  9. What - you know that Im hunchbacked, evil and talk to myself, not unlike Richard III? Seriously, what bloke wouldn't want to reenact all those, *ahem* "art" films of two writhing young ladies if, for some inexplicable reason, he were to become one for a day???
     

  10. Can't I do both????? :wink: :lol: :wink: :lol: :wink:
     
  11. LOL its ok, I wont give away your secret 8)
     
  12. ???????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????
     
  13. Wake up, have a w*nk. Rest. Have a shower and two w*nks. Get dressed. Rearrange testicles several times at breakfast table in full view of everyone else present with total disregard for their modesty. Go to work. Sit at desk reading emails from mates. 80% porn, 13% dirty jokes, 6% links to porn and dirty jokes, 1% family and work related. Get up several times during morning to stretch, stuff hands in pockets shake leg and rearrange testicles whilst counting there are still two present. Scope out office for tight tops, sheer blouses, erect nipples, short skirts and FM shoes. Home in on new girl, pretty flirty type or office slut. Chat whilst fiddling discretely with testicles and holding penis in comfort position via pocket. Make tea with other guys while talking about tight tops sheer blouses erect nipples and office slut followed by football rugby and come dancing. Slag off boss. Lunch. Go to canteen buy sandwich, eat sandwich while checking out bigger picture and tighter tops sheerer blouses and sluttier office girls, make mental note to move to new department/company. Go back to desk. Check emails and sift out crap (work) from the good stuff. 80% porn, 13% dirty jokes, 6% links to porn and dirty jokes, 1% family. Look at links on net. Chat on phone to mate about sex and football. Mid afternoon sneak off to mans toilets one floor up and w*nk. Go back to desk while rearranging testicles and making sure penis is still present. Tidy desk and call to arrange night out. Dash out of office at 5.00 pm on the dot stopping only if short skirt, office slut or FM shoes are bending over to pick something up, drop briefcase and bend for better vantage point. Go to pub, talk about day in terms such as 'I'm f*cking knackered!' and 'I've worked my b*llocks off!' whilst being generally annoying scope room focus on likely targets then look at good looking females. Drink alcohol whilst playing with testicles and counting number present. Approach likely lady and ask her if you can chat to her. Ignore comments such as 'F*ck off you drunken maggot' and hear only 'Oh yes please'. Ignore 'Get off my foot you ugly c*nt' and hear only 'Do sit down' slabber entire life story onto neck of female until she decides she to would like to count my testicles but needs to enlarge them first by kneeing me in them. Be carried out of pub to ambulance screaming 'Just take my number I understand peer pressure and all but it'll be you and me baby'. Finish off evening trying to bluff to A and E staff why I have no pockets in my trousers but a pair of rubber gloves sewn in instead.........

    Beebs :wink:
     
  14. Beebs - send more incontinence pants. These ones are broken. :lol: :cry: :lol: :cry: :lol: :cry:
     



  15. ooooooooooooooooooo Bugger I'm sussed.................... Don't tell anyone at work please BBC otherwise my T&G will be cancelled