Just for fun.

#1
I went to the pub with my girlfriend last night. Locals were shouting paedo and other names
at me just because my girlfriend is 21 and I'm 50. It completely spoilt our 10th anniversary.


The wife suggested I get myself one of those penis enlargers ....... so I did....


she's 21 and her name's Lucy.



My girlfriend said she was leaving me due to my obsession with the 60's group The Monkees.
I thought she was joking ........ and then I saw her face.
 
#2
Last night I was sitting on the sofa watching tv when I heard my wife's voice from the kitchen,
'what would you like for dinner my love, chicken, beef or lamb?'
I said, 'Thank you, I'll have chicken please'
She replied, 'You're having soup you fat bastard, I was talking to the cat!'


Got myself a new Jack Russell puppy, he's mainly black and brown with a small white patch,

so I've named him Birmingham .
 

phil245

LE
Book Reviewer
#3
23 useless things in a man's body:
20 nails that can't be hammered, 2 balls u cannot throw, 1 cock that can't crow.
don't laugh girls, you've got a pussy cannot catch mice
 

phil245

LE
Book Reviewer
#4
thought for the day.
Life is like a penis: simple, soft, straight, relaxed, and hanging freely. Then women come and make it hard.
 

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