junior ranks in sgtmess

#1
i have a problem that is half personal and half etiquiette as regards the sgt's mess.

i have a mess member who has married a cpl. she (the cpl) thinks that she should be aloud to drink in the the sgt's mess at the end of the working day(as his guest)).

i realise that at a function i we have no choice but to let her attend because she is a spouse.

but, i don't see any need for her to be in our mess at any other time, especially when her own mess is open.

if there is any prescedent for refusing her enrty to my mess then please let me know .
 
A

armadillo

Guest
#2
Yes, chuck her out as her actions can be construed however honest and good tempered they may be will be viewed by junior ranks as subverting the chain of command. Bring it up with the RSM with apologies to affected sergeant, but barriers are there so senior ranks can let off steam without junior and officer ranks witnessing it. Check the Mess rulebooks you can ask her to leave as she is not a senior rank. Section 69 Army Act 1955 Conduct prejudicial to good discipline etc, The Sgt involved should be told that they should know better, or if they want to drink with spouse suggest a good pub. The SNCO mess is a privilege not a extension of PC.

Good Luck my friend

Armadillo
 
#3
I agree with Armadillo. Junior ranks who are a mess member's partner are more than welcome at mess do's but not when she/her partner wants to as and when.

If she wants to drink in the SNCO's mess more regularly, then she should work her t1ts off to get promoted like the rest of us. Then she can prop up the bar every day if she so wishes to do so.
 
#4
As she is not a mess member she is not entitled to use the mess it's as simple as that. Her husband should be told that although she is welcome to attend functions as his wife she is not allowed in at other times. It's an extension of what a Gunner RSM told me on promotion "You don't go in the bombardiers mess now, they go there to talk about you not to you".
 

Auld-Yin

ADC
Kit Reviewer
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#5
The solution is really quite simple. If the 2 wish to have a drink together after work then all the SNCO has to do is hand in his tapes and revert to Cpl. Job done!
 

elovabloke

ADC
Moderator
#6
She's lucky if you are going to include to official functions - not a bad move unless something happens then the problems will occur. Once had a younge Cpl who's Mrs was head of SSAFA so used the hofficers pig stye - he was never invited, wonder why.
 
#8
I can only concur with my esteemed colleagues. Have a quiet word with the sergeant involved and explain the situation - he may be unaware of the waves his spouse his making. Otherwise a word with the RSM will do wonders.
 
#10
Mess do's fine, but not normally. She has her own mess, it is that simple.

Why isn't he going in to the Cpls mess as HER guest?
 
B

Biscuits_AB

Guest
#11
indiadeltaonezerotango said:
i have a problem that is half personal and half etiquiette as regards the sgt's mess.

i have a mess member who has married a cpl. she (the cpl) thinks that she should be aloud to drink in the the sgt's mess at the end of the working day(as his guest)).

i realise that at a function i we have no choice but to let her attend because she is a spouse.

but, i don't see any need for her to be in our mess at any other time, especially when her own mess is open.

if there is any prescedent for refusing her enrty to my mess then please let me know .

Only on Mess functions which are neither stag nor Regimental and only with the express permission of the Mess President. There is no statutory right for her to be in the Mess whatsoever.

Any complaints by a serving Mess Member about her conduct whilst a guest in YOUR Mess should be adhered to by the Mess President and PMC, which should result in her husband being told to remove her and the 'privelage' of attending future functions, withdrawn.

The Mess is not there to accommodate JNCOs irrespective of whom they are married to. Most, if not all members are very accommodating in my experience and if respect is shown by the 'guest' to the Mess, then respect is returned.

No spouse, has an automatic right to entry into the Mess, irrespective of who their husband/wife is and no JNCO has any right to access, unless invited and with the specific authorisation of the Mess President and even then, without any protest from serving Mess Members.

Her husband should actually 'brief' his wife as to her 'standing' in relation to the Mess.
 

elovabloke

ADC
Moderator
#13
No way should he be shooting of to Cpl's Mess do's unless invites have been sent out to other Sgt's Mess members.
 
#14
Hmm?....occasionally, there is a thread that unites everyone and I'm glad to see it here (so far)...There have been useful explanations for all to see plus simple common sense answers..for what it's worth, i spent 12 years in the mess..i knew that most people in there had worked hard to achieve that privilege, so it's easy really, the husband needs to have a quiet word with her (..and grow some balls!) as her reasoning is flawed, if she was married to an officer would she expect to be allowed to drink in their mess? what about a corporal marrying a Private? how far would the private get in the Cpls Mess? ...it's can of worms that needs to be crushed ...my opinion is that it one of those times when the senior rank of the two just has to say 'Sorry, can't be done, now shut up about it or get promoted.'... he/she can also add 'you necky bitch/twat' as a final emphasis...
 
#15
indiadeltaonezerotango said:
i have a problem that is half personal and half etiquiette as regards the sgt's mess.

i have a mess member who has married a cpl. she (the cpl) thinks that she should be aloud to drink in the the sgt's mess at the end of the working day(as his guest)).

i realise that at a function i we have no choice but to let her attend because she is a spouse.

but, i don't see any need for her to be in our mess at any other time, especially when her own mess is open.

if there is any prescedent for refusing her enrty to my mess then please let me know .
Quite simple she should be allowed in the mess as Mrs Blah and only dressed in civvy garb! I had the same situation many years ago and it didn't cause a problem, we also had a guy married to an officer again she entered the mess as Mrs Blah! But then again we are Tankies and not stuck up are own arrses! I'm now going to take cover. :D
 
#16
If they are in the same CoC, my thoughts are that she should not be allowed into the mess ever - even for functions - what goes on in the mess stay's in the mess and they don't want some JNCO going back to work on the monday morning telling all and sundry what happend in the mess on friday night.

And before anyone ask's yes i am a JNCO - if they want to drink together, they should a) find somewhere off camp or b) go to the Cpl's mess

Sluice
 
#17
elovabloke said:
She's lucky if you are going to include to official functions - not a bad move unless something happens then the problems will occur. Once had a younge Cpl who's Mrs was head of SSAFA so used the hofficers pig stye - he was never invited, wonder why.
I knew a bloke in similar circumstances whose missus was high up in the HIVE. It wasn't to do with messing, but they got accommodated in some superduper big house, which caused a bit of resentment among the lads.
 
B

Biscuits_AB

Guest
#19
Sluice_dweller said:
If they are in the same CoC, my thoughts are that she should not be allowed into the mess ever - even for functions - what goes on in the mess stay's in the mess and they don't want some JNCO going back to work on the monday morning telling all and sundry what happend in the mess on friday night.

And before anyone ask's yes i am a JNCO - if they want to drink together, they should a) find somewhere off camp or b) go to the Cpl's mess

Sluice
We know that your are a JNCO Sluicy :wink:

I disgaree with you though mate. Most 'guests' in any Mess know the drills and act accordingly and maturely (not that they would ever dream to do anything other) and are great company. It's a bit harsh to force a couple to drink away from friends and colleagues just because of a difference in rank. If everyone plays the game and enjoys the company, then that's as it should be.

Where's your Christmas spirit woman? (or did you drink your Mess dry last night? :wink: )
 

Auld-Yin

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#20
Biscuits_AB said:
Sluice_dweller said:
If they are in the same CoC, my thoughts are that she should not be allowed into the mess ever - even for functions - what goes on in the mess stay's in the mess and they don't want some JNCO going back to work on the monday morning telling all and sundry what happend in the mess on friday night.

And before anyone ask's yes i am a JNCO - if they want to drink together, they should a) find somewhere off camp or b) go to the Cpl's mess

Sluice
We know that your are a JNCO Sluicy :wink:

I disgaree with you though mate. Most 'guests' in any Mess know the drills and act accordingly and maturely (not that they would ever dream to do anything other) and are great company. It's a bit harsh to force a couple to drink away from friends and colleagues just because of a difference in rank. If everyone plays the game and enjoys the company, then that's as it should be.

Where's your Christmas spirit woman? (or did you drink your Mess dry last night? :wink: )
feck me rigid :? Biscuits (I hate everyone) AB saying somethign fairly nice. I dooooon't beleeeeeve it :hug: It must be Christmas:santa:
 

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