Juicy quotes

Discussion in 'Staff College and Staff Officers' started by flatrack, Jan 23, 2002.

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  1. Further to the earlier topic of made up words.  Has anyone any recollection of some really 'interesting' quotes from JCSC so far?
    'Smokey poles' has come up a few times and I seem to remember one DS telling the cse that he would soon 'let us loose on his equipment' and to see if we could 'try to rip the knobs off'.  
    ...or perhaps it's just the way my mind works.
  2. During question time at the end of a wise and sincere lecture given by a certain member of the General Staff, a student asked "Since homosexuality was about to be made legal in the Armed Services, should he sleep his way to the top?".... After much intake of breath by the DS, the General focused hard on the unwavering individual and replied......." You're not my type!" FANTASTIC!
  3. OK, so this is a second hand story.

    After a very dull and long lecture on the AGC by some very senior AGC ofiicers including a brigadier the summary was.....

    "...and that ladies and gentlemen is the role of the moern AGC.'

    One remarkably alert member of the bored audience piped up from the back...


    Chaos ensued.
  4. I didn't think that JCSC stayed awake/sober for long enough to remember any juicy quotes 8) ;D

    happiness is 500ft down in a force 10
  5. ... or on being asked for a principle of logistics answered "Surprise".
  6. A poor Scaleyback major was about to give a lecture on CNR in the corps rear area and realising that he was batting on a losing wicket turned the lights out "to allow those of you who wish to go to sleep to do so".  

    At which a bored Cav voice in the centre of the room sounded off  with " Do you mind I'm reading a book" ;D
  7. Not my AJD but, on being asked about women in the front line, a very senior army officer replied

    "I'd rather not get sucked off down that dark alley"!!!!!!!!!!
  8. There's the REME Coy Comd at Sandhurst who thought his Cadets referred to him as the 'biggest tool in the box' because they like him.
  9. There was the individual who thought he was referred to as ten gauge because he had the properties of a shotgun......The Army Metal Workers Handbook describes ten gauge as being very thick and difficult to work with.
  10. Or indeed the SO1 DS at RMCS a few years ago known as Colonel Leatherman.

    The Leatherman was advertised at the time as 'The complete tool' ;D ;D ;D
  11. My first Commanding Officer was known as Thrush because he was an irritating c**t.

    Probably not much relevance to this thread but he must have gone to JCSC at some point. Tenuous link but he really did annoy the crap out of me. :mad: :mad: :mad:

    Much happier now ;D
  12. We had a mozambiquan chap at sandhurst nicknamed ETH- because he was a useless spade
  13. The Second in Command of a Sapper Regt in Kosovo was nicknamed Hesco Bastion by the lads, as he too was full of shit and very difficult to get rid off.   ;D
  14. RMAS 1988. Director of TA espouses the importance of the Terriers to a receptive SMC. During questions Officer Cadet A asks the Colonel "Sir what does STAB mean?" Colonel replies "I am not sure what that acronym means, can any of our ex-TA audience enlighten us?" Officer cadet B replies "Yes Sir, it means Stupid TA Bastard" ... Much rifting and bumpering of Guardroom ceilings followed ...
  15. You've probably heard them already, but this is the place.........

    Throm(bosis) - he was a slow moving clot.

    Wedge - the simplest tool known to man.

    SPIN - Shortest Pr!ck in NATO.

    Johnny-Two-Sheds - if you had a garden shed, he had two - if you had a p!$$ on the hard shoulder, he'd had a $h!t in the fast lane.