Journalist meets painfully slow excruciating sticky end....

Discussion in 'The NAAFI Bar' started by Mr_Bridger, Sep 25, 2006.

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  1. Well let's hope so.... but now that I have your attention..

    Name the Journo you Despise the most... and a suitable manner in which they should leave this mortal coil :)

    (You may also give a reason / detailed evidence if appropriate !)

    In the interests of a balanced and informed (?) debate if you know of a wholly good Journo... and I grant that they will be in a minority, then please let us all know.
  2. Does Piers Morgan still count as a journo? Worst thing about that shite is that his brother is a serving officer (Major in the RE IIRC). Should be dipped slowly into a shredder after having had 200 rolled up copies of 'that' edition of the Mirror hammered into his arrse and down his throat. And his eyes to be gouged out with a rusty spoon and the resultant holes fcuked by a passing homosexual arab.
  3. Yasmin Alibi-Brown, merely because every time I read her articles I want to attack something with a hammer. Death by baseball bat to the face.

    John Hari, just for being so damn bleeding heart liberal, but he doesn't deserve death, I'd just break his legs or something equally trivial.

    Reading The Independent sometimes can be excruciating.
  4. Well, to kick off with, the main man has to be Pea-head Moreguns........I hate him and so does Jeremy Clarkson (and he is never wrong) so, no matter what anyone else says Moreguns should be castrated with a rusty knife and left to rot in the back of a four ton wagon for people to urinate on him and take pictures. There you go matey, thats my starter.
  5. Dread...............were we perhaps separated at birth ?
  6. Don't give them the satisfaction. Let them continue with their dull, utterly unremarkable, pointless lives.
  7. Martin Samuel

    "Sports Writer of the year", works for the Times. Thinks it makes him the oracle on being able to write about how all soldiers are violent etc etc

    Could someone who works in the office of The Times please please please rim his mug or slap him or something? Seriously, I'll pay you.
  8. Was that the 'I love the 99.9% of chav-fattie-drug-taking-on-the-dole-get -knocked-up-when-I'm-12-inbred-cnuts, dems my kind of people' bloke?
  9. Piers Moron, and anyone who spouts "the public have a right to know" on a regular basis (normally it's in relation to a story about Jade Goody or some such none-entity)

    Also, and this is only really something I've noticed while I've been in the US, but TV journos are a major source of annoyance, over here they come in two varieties ; a)middle aged,male,middle class and angry b)blond,under 40,and unable to enunciate a coherent sentence.
  10. Journos who can't ponounce their RRRRs poperly on nume'ous pogammes.

    They should have their tongues stretched by a recy mech on piece work, and be forced to regularly recite really repetitve reams and rhymes.

  11. Yep, that's the cnut. Fat, ugly cnut at that.

    But don't worry, soldiers are violent and bad people.

    Perhaps Martin Samuel could be introduced to the saying "Good people sleep peaceably in their beds at night only because rough men stand ready to do violence on their behalf" at the same time as his freshly rimmed mug
  12. And don't anyone pull me up for the SI!
  13. I met a whoppingly gorgeous, blonde, pouting, French Al-Jazeera journalist in Kabul a few weeks back, who told me about her wonderful day shopping in Chicken Street, while I hid The Laddie under a tray of Becks: "We bought $1000 of Afghan furniture, enough for our whole flat in Doha", she gushed. Phwoaaaar.

    Hats off, said I, but then she spoiled the fun.

    "I fcuking hate the military here", she said. "All they do is follow orders and kill people".


    She added: "Do you know a place where I can buy bubble wrap to get my furniture back to Doha without being damaged?" I'm not making this up.

    Bubble wrap in the 'Stan? I tried to point out that if 'the military' was not there, her shopping trip might have ended up with a 'bag on head souvenier video', but she wouldn't have it.

    DIRECT QUOTE FROM MY AL-JAZEERA JOURNO COMPANION: "I don't want to know about the military. They are all killers."

    It's that last sentence that bothers me most. Whatever you think of the military, why should a so-called journalist EVER be allowed to get away with not wanting to know about the soldiers who made an agreeable shopping spree possible.

    Pass the sickbag.

    Can't remember her bloody name, though.
  14. Dread .... I nearly cried laughing.

    Keep up the good work !
  15. all Journos should die.
    i fcuking hate the lot of them.

    sorry but i am on one.