Jokes you WONT find in this years PC Christmas Crackers

Discussion in 'The NAAFI Bar' started by Shorncliffe_Rifles, Dec 23, 2009.

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  1. Finding out the truth.

  2. Building a cheap patio.

  3. Getting you bint to polish with her muff.

  1. What's the ideal weight for a

    About 2.3 pounds including the urn

    Merry Christmas you ARRSE's!
  2. A history teacher asks a class full of kids 'What was Churchill famous for ?

    A kid at the back shouts out' He was the last white man
    to be called Winston!'

  3. I parked in a disabled space today
    and a traffic warden shouted to me...

    'Oi, what's your disability?'

    I said 'Tourettes! Now f**k off!'
  4. A bride on her wedding night says to her husband 'I must confess darling, I was a hooker!'.

    He says 'That's all right,dear. Your past is your past, but I must admit that I find
    it quite erotic. Tell me about it'.

    She replies 'Well, my name was Dafyddl, and I played for Wales!'.
  5. Father Duffy walks into the convent and sees Sister Rose washing the kitchen floor.

    He's overcome with desire and pushes her onto the ground. As he's shagging her the Rev Mother comes in.

    'SISTER ROSE!!!' she roars 'Have some respect. Arch your back girl and keep Father Duffy's balls off the wet floor!!'
  6. Tampax are changing their design they are repacing the string with a piece of tinsel ....

    ......This is for the Christmas period only!
  7. A man says to his wife 'tell me something that will make me happy and sad at the same time'.

    His wife replies 'You've got a bigger knob than your brother'
  8. 15 skinheads chase a blackman into a shop and proceed to kick 7 flavours of shit out of him. Eventually, the police arrive and arrest everyone. One of the coppers walks over to the shop assistant and asks if he saw it all happen.
    When the clerk replies 'yes' the cop asks why he didn't help out.
    "I though 15 was enough." came the reply.
  9. Did you hear about the look-a-like competition in China ?

    Everybody won!
  10. I am horrified.
  11. Whats Blue and Orange and lies at the bottom of a swimming pool ??

    A baby with burst Arm Bands
  12. LMAO, made my day :D
  13. All from the same Global email Shorncliffe?
  14. Very topical :wink:
  15. There is a difference between slightly risqué non-PC jokes and outright racism.