Jokes that only squaddies could understand.

#2
Squaddie falls off the high walk on the trainazium and breaks his ankle. PTI says, "don't just lie there, do push ups."
 
#3
When asked to take up position beside 'White' scout car, SSM Paddy ****
answered.............
"Oi can't see any effing white scout car, only the effing kahki ones".
 

B_AND_T

MIA
Book Reviewer
#4
BenghaziBandit said:
Can any one supply jokes that only a squaddy could understand?
As in "the big ends gone Sir"
"These bloody Ities will steal anything, double the Guard". :?
The RAF
 
#5
BenghaziBandit said:
When asked to take up position beside 'White' scout car, SSM Paddy ****
answered.............
"Oi can't see any effing white scout car, only the effing kahki ones".
I get it but I doubt many people would these days! :)

 
#6
B_AND_T said:
BenghaziBandit said:
Can any one supply jokes that only a squaddy could understand?
As in "the big ends gone Sir"
"These bloody Ities will steal anything, double the Guard". :?
The RAF
Thats not funny 8O
 
#8
"Why does my coffee mug taste salty?"
 

B_AND_T

MIA
Book Reviewer
#9
crabthebuilder said:
B_AND_T said:
BenghaziBandit said:
Can any one supply jokes that only a squaddy could understand?
As in "the big ends gone Sir"
"These bloody Ities will steal anything, double the Guard". :?
The RAF
Thats not funny 8O
No honestly, believe me, it really is.
 
#13
The same SSM 'Paddy' ***** noticed Trooper 'X' greasing road wheels on a Comet with a large pump grease gun and asked what he was doing?.
Tpr. 'X' replied sarcasticly," Blowing up the tyres Sir"
"Good" says Paddy, "It's good to see 'B' Sqd. doing some effing maintainence" :eek:
 
#14
Markintime said:
Why have I woken up with a sticky mouth and a 5 Mark piece on my chest?
I knew we'd met before :WINK:
 
#16
2 pieces of liver in a knackie jar
 
#18
syledis said:
Sweating like a Para in a spelling test
that was a good 'un, hows about;

Sweating like a catholic priest in a dormitory.

or;

Sweating like Mel Gibson in a synagogue.
 
#19
syledis said:
Sweating like a Para in a spelling test
Or bleeding like a 'hat' on being overheard making said joke by said Paras. :wink:

Bear with me on this one.

A Royal Marines Oficer is seconded to a Guards Regiment (For some obscure reason.).
He turns to in the Officers Mess bright and early on Monday AM for a coffee, prior to his meeting with his new boss.
The only other Officer in the mess has his cap on at the table, looking slightly seedy and stirring around a bowl of Cornflakes .
"Good Morning." says the Royal.
"Unh!!" grunts the Guardsman not looking up.
'Hmm' thinks Royal can't be a morning person, looking around for some sugar he spies a sugar bowl in front of the Guardee .
"Excuse me, could you pass the sugar please." says Royal.
"Look old man," says the Guardsman in rather frosty tones "When a Guards Officer wears his cap to the breakfast table it means he's rather over induldged the night before and doesn't wish to be disturbed."
The Guards Officer then continues to stir his cornflakes.
Royal gets up from his seat, climbs onto the table walks over to the Guardsman and pokes the toe of his boot into his Cornflakes.
"I say old chap what the devil do you think your doing!!" shrieks the Guardsman
"When a Royal Marine's Officer puts his boot in your Cornflakes it means pass the F@#king sugar!" :D


Carry on.
 
#20
I was present when this exchange took place.
Our Sgt Major was RTR, old & bold and would have sweated on the Para spelling test.
Every morning when he took Muster Parade, proper Get On Parade, he parked his motor and then revved the engine, switching off the motor as the revs rose to a crescendo.
One of the S/Sgts says to him Tom why do you always rev the motor before you cut the ignition ?
The SSM smiled and says in all seriousness, Ah you don't know, Old ASM once explained that if you kill the motor quick at high revs you trap all the pistons at top of stroke and this makes for easier starting.
john
Over the years I have often wondered just who was kidding who.
 

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