Jokes about people in different countrys

Discussion in 'The NAAFI Bar' started by Sabre, Jul 18, 2009.

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  1. Ok here goes

    Mrs Sabre works with woman whose husband is a completed Tosser, and Welsh too boot.

    Now dont get me wrong i dont mind the Welsh or Scottish or any one from any country ( bar the cheese eating surrender monkeys) for that matter.

    But i turn to the good wisdom of Arrse to help out and wonder if any one knows any good put downs/one liners or Jokes about the Welsh or any other country where you might be able to substitute to just change a couple of things to make it generic.

    Can you help?
     
  2. Auld-Yin

    Auld-Yin LE Reviewer Book Reviewer Reviews Editor

    Just tell him the Welsh are a joke :D You could point out of course that the Arrser formerly known as MDN is Welsh :twisted:
     
  3. It's old but makes I larf, and can be used for any city, region etc. therefore in my mind it is PC in that it is equally applicable to all groups in one way or another.

    " A 50 Megaton nuclear device was exploded today in {insert city, town, area country} and it: {pick any of the answers below}

    a. only did 10 quids worth of damage"

    b. reduced unemployement benfit payments by 75%"

    c. increased the countries GDP by 90%"
     
  4. Being Irish I should object to Irish jokes but we will insist on voting for them so I really can't.

    Irish jokes in Ireland become Kerryman jokes.

    Exactly the same jokes in Canada are Newfie (Newfoundlander) jokes.

    In France they're Belgian jokes, in Sweden, Norwegian jokes and so on throughout the world I'm sure.
     
  5. hows about i hear CSI were thinking of doing a Welsh edition of the show but no one has any dental records and they all have the same DNA!
     
  6. BuggerAll

    BuggerAll LE Reviewer Book Reviewer

    The Welsh: Pray on their knees and on their neighbors
     
  7. seaweed

    seaweed LE Book Reviewer

    Tuesday, I was told that one in Halifax (about Halifax, by an American) in 1967 (and the cost was $18).
     
  8. Bear in mind that the farther away from our shores these people originate, the more offended our Governing Class becomes should you make a crack about them. This rule has exceptions; Australian/NZers, the Japs, many states-worth of Americans and probably the Welsh in Patagonia are not capable of offence, being basically English (if not in fact then certainly in unabridged Churchillian history) apart from the Japs, who are inscrutable. Everyone else is apparently very sensitive about their culture, skin colour, clothing, food, stupid language and ghastly hygiene. Carry on.
     
  9. maguire

    maguire LE Book Reviewer

    wales - where men are men... and sheep are nervous. (old, I know...)
     
  10. BuggerAll

    BuggerAll LE Reviewer Book Reviewer

    If you think the Japanese are not sensitive about their culture you have obviously not met very many.
     
  11. I'll ignore your missing-of-the-point, BA, and say that I've only ever had to deal over a period of time with one Jap, and she was a penny-pinching pain in the arrse, and a lousy cook. I'm sure that the race in general are probably the next stage in homo sapiens' development: homo soniensis.
     
  12. What do you call a Welsh farmer with a sheep under one arm and a goat under the other?
    Bisexual!

    What do you call a Welshman with 40 wives?
    A shepherd!

    One day a travelling salesman was driving around rural Wales and decided to stay the night in a farmhouse. After enjoying a fine meal with the farmer, the salesman turned to him and said, "What is it like for hiring a companion for the evening?"
    "Well," replied the farmer, "I'm afraid there are not many women around these parts. But there's always Arthur........."
    "Oh?" said the salesman, intrigued, "How much does he charge then?"
    "It will cost you £100." replied the farmer.
    The salesman thought for a minute then said, "That's a bit expensive!"
    "Well," said the farmer, "the local magistrate takes out £40 because he doesn't approve of those kind of things."
    "Oh," answered the man, "so that's £40 for the magistrate and £60 for Arthur."
    The farmer shook his head, "No, the local constable also takes £40 because he doesn't approve of those kind of things!"
    "Jesus," replied the salesman, "So the magistrate gets £40, the cop gets £40 that only leaves £20 for Arthur! Thats no way to make a living!"
    The farmer shook his head again and said, "No - We pay Gareth and Dai £10 each to hold Arthur down, because he doesn't approve of that sort of thing either!"



    One day a man walked into a pub in Wales and ordered a pint of beer. All the other men in the bar looked at him and the barman asked, "You're not from around here, are you sir?"
    "No," replied the man, "I am from London."
    "So, boyo," said the barman, "What do you do for a living then?"
    "I'm a taxidermist." replied the man.
    "A taxidermist?" asked the barman, "What's one of them then?"
    "Well," replied the man, "I mount animals."
    The barman then turned to all the other welshmen in the bar and said, "It's ok lad's, he's one of us!"
     
  13. And the women are also men.
     
  14. Jarpies,

    I don't hass hairs on my chest bouy.

    Iss twigs.