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Joke

#1
Ben owned a small company, employing 2 people - Jack and Susan. He came across hard times and had to make one of them redundant, but was unable to decide who. Susan had a headache that day and was at the water fountain, taking some tablets. Ben approached her and said "I have to lay you or Jack off". To which she replied; "Can you jack off, cos I have a headache".

Ok, OK .... best I can for a Monday morning.
 
#5
That's funny because "Jack Off" is another way of saying masturbate and susan is a girl and girls get head aches when they don't want sex and susans a girl. She misunderstood!!

I take it you're still single eve....
 
#8
AFKAC owned a small company, employing 2 people - eve1962 and someone else. He came across hard times and had to make one of them redundant, but was unable to decide who. Eve1962 had a headache that day and was at the water fountain, taking some tablets. AFKAC approached her and said "I have to lay you or the other person off, and i've decided it's you, because, try as I might, I can't think of one good fcuking reason for keeping you on. Don't bother going back to your desk, i've tipped it out the window. Heres your picture of that fcuking dog your always going on about. Now do one."
 
#9
AFKAC said:
AFKAC owned a small company, employing 2 people - eve1962 and someone else. He came across hard times and had to make one of them redundant, but was unable to decide who. Eve1962 had a headache that day and was at the water fountain, taking some tablets. AFKAC approached her and said "I have to lay you or the other person off, and i've decided it's you, because, try as I might, I can't think of one good fcuking reason for keeping you on. Don't bother going back to your desk, i've tipped it out the window. Heres your picture of that fcuking dog your always going on about. Now do one."
Much much funnier! People are looking at me laughing :lol:
 
#11
A public servant was on his way home from work in London when traffic came to a dead halt and thought to himself, "This is unusual."


He noticed a police officer walking between the lines of stopped cars, so he rolled down his window and asked, Officer, what's the hold-up?"

The officer replied, "The Prime Minister is depressed, so he stopped his motorcade and is threatening to douse himself with petrol and set himself on fire. He says no one believes his stories about why we went to war in Iraq, or the connection between Saddam and al-Qaeda, or that his tax cuts will help anyone except his wealthy friends.
So we're taking up a collection for him."

The public servant asks, "How much have you got so far?"

The officer replies, "About 200 litres, but a lot of people are still siphoning."
 
#12
Three girls get into a lift at work, a brunette, a redhead and eve. The brunette is first to notice a white stain on the floor 'Eww! that looks like sperm!' she exclaims. The redhead tentatively bends down and sniffs it. 'I think you're right' she says 'It smells like sperm!'Eve picks some up on her finger and tastes it. 'Well it's no-one from our floor!'
 
#14
AFKAC said:
AFKAC owned a small company, employing 2 people - eve1962 and someone else. He came across hard times and had to make one of them redundant, but was unable to decide who. Eve1962 had a headache that day and was at the water fountain, taking some tablets. AFKAC approached her and said "I have to lay you or the other person off, and i've decided it's you, because, try as I might, I can't think of one good fcuking reason for keeping you on. Don't bother going back to your desk, i've tipped it out the window. Heres your picture of that fcuking dog your always going on about. Now do one."


--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

[qoute="fish-head"]
AFKAC said:
AFKAC owned a small company, employing 2 people - eve1962 and someone else. He came across hard times and had to make one of them redundant, but was unable to decide who. Eve1962 had a headache that day and was at the water fountain, taking some tablets. AFKAC approached her and said "I have to lay you or the other person off, and i've decided it's you, because, try as I might, I can't think of one good fcuking reason for keeping you on. Don't bother going back to your desk, i've tipped it out the window. Heres your picture of that fcuking dog your always going on about. Now do one."

Much much funnier! People are looking at me laughing [/quote]


Cutaway said:
Brilliant Convoy, a fcuking PEARLER !

:lol: :lol: :lol:





Ferkin'ell, guys, cut some slack! It's turning into a site full of Baddasses round here - you don't like the post, avoid the thread :roll:
 
#15
Little Jack H said:
Ferkin'ell, guys, cut some slack! It's turning into a site full of Baddasses round here - you don't like the post, avoid the thread :roll:
It's the NAAFI FFS! It's a board where slating and witty repartee are par for the course and that includes slating your munter of a chick :D
 
#17
Boor_Durndle_Mk2 said:
Little Jack H said:
Ferkin'ell, guys, cut some slack! It's turning into a site full of Baddasses round here - you don't like the post, avoid the thread :roll:
It's the NAAFI FFS! It's a board where slating and witty repartee are par for the course and that includes slating your munter of a chick :D
Totally agree, BD, but (your words, not mine) - "witty repartee" - otherwise it's just a slanging match / witch hunt. Which is exactly what Baddass & Co were known for.

As for my "munter of a chick" - in case you missed it, she left 3 months ago with the kid. Keep up at the back, eh? ;)
 
#18
Little Jack H said:
Totally agree, BD, but (your words, not mine) - "witty repartee" - otherwise it's just a slanging match / witch hunt. Which is exactly what Baddass & Co were known for.

As for my "munter of a chick" - in case you missed it, she left 3 months ago with the kid. Keep up at the back, eh? ;)
Personally I thought Baddass was very amusing. Granted all he did was take the p iss out of people but my god did those people bite. They bit bigger than a Great White at Naafi break.

By the way the "munter" I was referring to was Eve. Obviously we all knew about your real missus, as she told us all..............after we'd bummed her.
 
#19
Door_Bundle_Mk2 said:
Little Jack H said:
Totally agree, BD, but (your words, not mine) - "witty repartee" - otherwise it's just a slanging match / witch hunt. Which is exactly what Baddass & Co were known for.

As for my "munter of a chick" - in case you missed it, she left 3 months ago with the kid. Keep up at the back, eh? ;)
Personally I thought Baddass was very amusing. Granted all he did was take the p iss out of people but my god did those people bite. They bit bigger than a Great White at Naafi break.

By the way the "munter" I was referring to was Eve. Obviously we all knew about your real missus, as she told us all..............after we'd bummed her.
So that's why I couldn't touch the sides anymore :lol:
 

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