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  1. Ben owned a small company, employing 2 people - Jack and Susan. He came across hard times and had to make one of them redundant, but was unable to decide who. Susan had a headache that day and was at the water fountain, taking some tablets. Ben approached her and said "I have to lay you or Jack off". To which she replied; "Can you jack off, cos I have a headache".

    Ok, OK .... best I can for a Monday morning.
     
  2. Didn't that joke get a telegram from the queen last year?
     
  3. yes , apparently it now lives in a small residential home outside rhyll.
     
  4. "What you doing up there?"

    "I fell"

    :roll:
     
  5. RTFQ

    RTFQ RIP

    That's funny because "Jack Off" is another way of saying masturbate and susan is a girl and girls get head aches when they don't want sex and susans a girl. She misunderstood!!

    I take it you're still single eve....
     
  6. RTFQ

    RTFQ RIP

    two words for you:

    Falklands
     
  7. What's the difference between a cross eyed sniper and a constipated owl? One shoots but can't hit.
     
  8. AFKAC owned a small company, employing 2 people - eve1962 and someone else. He came across hard times and had to make one of them redundant, but was unable to decide who. Eve1962 had a headache that day and was at the water fountain, taking some tablets. AFKAC approached her and said "I have to lay you or the other person off, and i've decided it's you, because, try as I might, I can't think of one good fcuking reason for keeping you on. Don't bother going back to your desk, i've tipped it out the window. Heres your picture of that fcuking dog your always going on about. Now do one."
     
  9. Much much funnier! People are looking at me laughing :lol:
     
  10. Cutaway

    Cutaway LE Reviewer

    Brilliant Convoy, a fcuking PEARLER !

    :lol: :lol: :lol:
     
  11. RTFQ

    RTFQ RIP

    A public servant was on his way home from work in London when traffic came to a dead halt and thought to himself, "This is unusual."


    He noticed a police officer walking between the lines of stopped cars, so he rolled down his window and asked, Officer, what's the hold-up?"

    The officer replied, "The Prime Minister is depressed, so he stopped his motorcade and is threatening to douse himself with petrol and set himself on fire. He says no one believes his stories about why we went to war in Iraq, or the connection between Saddam and al-Qaeda, or that his tax cuts will help anyone except his wealthy friends.
    So we're taking up a collection for him."

    The public servant asks, "How much have you got so far?"

    The officer replies, "About 200 litres, but a lot of people are still siphoning."
     
  12. Three girls get into a lift at work, a brunette, a redhead and eve. The brunette is first to notice a white stain on the floor 'Eww! that looks like sperm!' she exclaims. The redhead tentatively bends down and sniffs it. 'I think you're right' she says 'It smells like sperm!'Eve picks some up on her finger and tastes it. 'Well it's no-one from our floor!'
     
  13. What do you say to a chav with a job?



    Quarter pounder and fries please!
     


  14. --------------------------------------------------------------------------------

    [qoute="fish-head"]

    Much much funnier! People are looking at me laughing [/quote]







    Ferkin'ell, guys, cut some slack! It's turning into a site full of Baddasses round here - you don't like the post, avoid the thread :roll:
     
  15. It's the NAAFI FFS! It's a board where slating and witty repartee are par for the course and that includes slating your munter of a chick :D