A 300-foot red carpet was stretched out to Air Force One and President Bush strode to a warm but dignified handshake from Queen Elizabeth II.
They rode in a silver 1934 Bentley to the edge of central London where they boarded an open 17th century coach hitched to six magnificent white horses.
As they rode toward Buckingham Palace, each looking to their side & waving to the thousands of cheering Britans lining the streets, all was going well. This was indeed a glorious display of pageantry and dignity.
Suddenly the scene was shattered when the right rear horse let rip the most horrendous, earth-shattering, eye-smarting blast of flatulence and the coach immediately filled with noxious fumes.
Uncomfortable, but maintaining control, the two dignitaries did their best to ignore the whole incident, but then the Queen decided that was a ridiculous manner with which to handle a most embarrassing situation.
She turned to Mr. Bush and explained, "Mr. President, please accept my regrets. I'm sure you understand that there are some things even a Queen cannot control".
George W. Bush, ever the Texas gentleman, replied, "Your Majesty, please don't give the matter another thought. You know, if you hadn't said something I would have assumed it was one of the horses."
David Beckham phones up Michael Jackson.
"Jacko" David says "Sorry to hear about your trial and your bad back. How about when it's over you come to Spain for a holiday with me Victoria and the kids on our yacht" Michael replies (wait for it!!) "That'll be great David I would love to come on your Cruz!!
A young couple got married, and on their first night in their new home, the husband said, "Sweetheart, we should set up some sort of a signaling system regarding sex. When we go to bed at night, if you want sex, just reach over and pull my penis twice."
The wife said, "Fine, but what do I do if I don't want sex?"
The husband said, "Then reach over and pull my penis fifty or sixty times."
One day, a little boy goes over to his grandparents house and is sitting out on the poarch with his grandfather. Grandpa is drinking a beer and the little boy asks if he can have a sip. "can your dick touch your asshole?" replies the grandpa. He says no, so the grandpa says "well, then you arent old enough yet to drink beer". The little boy goes back to his grandparents house about a week later and is again sitting on the poarch with grandpa, and again asks if he can have a sip of grandpa's beer. "Can your dick touch your asshole yet?" He says it still cant, so Grandpa say "Sorry, but youre still not old enough yet" The little boy goes inside where grandma gives him a plate of fresh cookies. He goes back outside and Grandpa asks him if he can have one. "Can YOUR dick touch YOUR asshole, Grandpa?" "Sure can" says Grandpa. "Well good for you, then go f*** yourself, cuz these are my cookies"