Joke

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#1
Two paedophiles are sitting on a park bench when
a 13 year old girl walks by. One turns to the
other and says, "I bet she was a real goer
in her day."
 
#3
whats the best thing about shagging 25 year olds?

theres 20 of them

im going to hell for unleashing that joke :evil:
 
#4
used to be a paedo but had to give it up. i was fed up of going to bed at
6 o:clock everyday. :D
 
#6
I know i'm going to get hung for this :!:

A Paedo, and a little girl are walking through the woods, As the woods become creeper the little girl grabs hold of the peados hand and says "I'm scared" to which the paedo replies "I don't know what your worried about i've got to walk back on my own :!:

I know i'm sorry it's bad remember it's only a joke :!:

A very sick one at that :!:
 
#7
Man returns home to find his girlfriend in a temper
"I'm leaving you you Barsteward, I've just found out you're a paedophile.
"Goodness dear, that's a big word for a seven year old"
 
#8
Have you heard what Thai prostitutes are wearing now?
Fishnets
 
#9
There once was a little boy who was celebrating his 11th birthday.

He decided to test his family to see if they remembered his birthday, so he goes downstairs to his father. "Bet cha' can't guess how old I am today", the boy said.

The father has no clue and finally gives up. "I'm eleven!" the boy exclaims.

Next he goes in the kitchen, walks up to his grandma, and says, "Bet cha' can't guess how old I am today".

"Let me give it a guess", grandma says and sticks her hand in his trousers.

She plays with his testicles for about an hour or so (squeezing them; moving them back and forth), takes her hand out of his trousers, and says, "You're eleven years old".

"How did you know?" the boy asked.

Grandma replied, "I heard you tell your father".
 
#10
Corporal said:
There once was a little boy who was celebrating his 11th birthday.

He decided to test his family to see if they remembered his birthday, so he goes downstairs to his father. "Bet cha' can't guess how old I am today", the boy said.

The father has no clue and finally gives up. "I'm eleven!" the boy exclaims.

Next he goes in the kitchen, walks up to his grandma, and says, "Bet cha' can't guess how old I am today".

"Let me give it a guess", grandma says and sticks her hand in his trousers.

She plays with his testicles for about an hour or so (squeezing them; moving them back and forth), takes her hand out of his trousers, and says, "You're eleven years old".

"How did you know?" the boy asked.

Grandma replied, "I heard you tell your father".
Stop it - even the dog laughed at that.

Taff is about to call 999 for an ambulance :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol:
 
#11
Dale the snail said:
Corporal said:
There once was a little boy who was celebrating his 11th birthday.

He decided to test his family to see if they remembered his birthday, so he goes downstairs to his father. "Bet cha' can't guess how old I am today", the boy said.

The father has no clue and finally gives up. "I'm eleven!" the boy exclaims.

Next he goes in the kitchen, walks up to his grandma, and says, "Bet cha' can't guess how old I am today".

"Let me give it a guess", grandma says and sticks her hand in his trousers.

She plays with his testicles for about an hour or so (squeezing them; moving them back and forth), takes her hand out of his trousers, and says, "You're eleven years old".

"How did you know?" the boy asked.

Grandma replied, "I heard you tell your father".
Stop it - even the dog laughed at that.

Taff is about to call 999 for an ambulance :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol:
is that before or after you've let him roar up your fish socket?
 
#12
DNA Scientists are working with Napa Valley California wine growers to produce a genetically modified grape to appeal to the aging population of wine drinkers.

Now, along with Pinot Grigio, Pinot Blanc and Pinot Noir comes a new wine witha natural anit-diuretic.. Pinot More
 
#13
Navy Story...

A destroyer pulled into a foreign port, and put down maximum liberty.

The skeleton crew didn't notice a chimpanzee, escaped from a nearby civilian transport, crawled up the ropes and up to the smokestack. Down the stack, it made its way into the engine room. It came across a power panel opened up for maintenance, couldn't read the warning signs, and with a bright blue blast shorted out the ship's electrical system, and plunged the ship into darkness.

A little bit later, two junior Hull Technicians wander down with their flashlights, looking for the problem. They come upon the blackened body of the chimp. They shine their flashlights on its long, burnt arms. They look at each other. They highlight its short legs and odd feet. They look at each other.

Finally one says, "Well, it's too hairy to be an Electrician, the legs are too short for a Hull Tech, and there would be more tattoos on a Bo'sun. Call the wardroom, see if one of the duty officers is missing."


8)
 
#14
i will get hanged for this :!:

whats worse than michael jackson putting your kids to bed?

ian huntley giving them a bath.

i know. hell awaits 8O
 
#15
we should all club together and go on holiday in thiland i heard theres loads of pussy floating around.


:!: 8O
 
#16
There was a little girl and her mother walking through the park one day and they saw two teenagers having sex on a bench.

The little girl says, "Mummy, what are they doing?" The mother hesitates then quickly replies, "Ummm they are making cakes."

The next day they are at a zoo and the little girl sees two monkeys having sex. Again she asks her mother what they are doing and her mother replies with the same response, "Making cakes."

The next day the girl says to her mother, "Mummy, you and Daddy were making cakes in the lounge last night, eh?" Shocked, the mother asks, "How do you know?"

She says, "Because I licked the icing off the sofa."
:twisted:
 
#17
gizmodnd said:
I know i'm going to get hung for this :!:

A Paedo, and a little girl are walking through the woods, As the woods become creeper the little girl grabs hold of the peados hand and says "I'm scared" to which the paedo replies "I don't know what your worried about i've got to walk back on my own :!:

I know i'm sorry it's bad remember it's only a joke :!:

A very sick one at that :!:
That is THE sickest EVER

Can't wait to tell it at work. :twisted:
 
#18
Three for the price of one:

1] If two potatoes are standing on a corner. How do you tell which one is the prostitute?

She's the one with the sticker that reads: I DA HO

2] A farmer walks into a bar and orders a bottle of champagne. A woman at the bar turns to him and says. " what a coincidence. I''ve got a bottle of champagne, too". the farmer smiles and says.. " Yup, I'm having a celebration. " and , again the woman says. " What a coincidence, so am I "
The farmer looks at the woman and smiles. " I've had a flock of chickens who couldn't lay eggs. I'm celebrating the fact that all my hens are finally pregnant. " and the women grins.. " what a coinicidence.My husband and I have been trying to have kids for years, and today, I found out I'm pregnant. Tell me, how did you get your hens to finally - you know."
The farmer looked at the woman.." well, I got rid of the old rooster, I changed c*cks." and the woman smiled. " what a coincidence! "

3] Three black women were planning a trip to the tropics. The first said: " for the flight, I'm wearing my bright red panties. - if the plane crashes and I'm lying face down in a field, they'll spot me first." The second woman said. " I'm wearing my flouresecent yellow panties. If the plane goes down and I'm floating face down in the ocean, they'll spot me a mile away. " The third smiled and said, " I'm not going to wear any panties on this flight. ". The other two looked at her. " No panties at all? "
" Nope. 'cause if the plane goes down I want to be the first one found. "
"how will wearing no panties get you found first. "
" Hell, Girls.. don't you read the papers. The first thing they always look for is the black box. "
 
#19
A young lad has just turned 13 and after goading from school-mates he was desparate for his first sexual experience. After getting nowhere with the girl next door, nor with the girls at school, he decided to go to one of the local prostitutes.

He tried to get all the money out of his piggy bank, but in the end had to smash it. As he was scrabbling on the floor collecting the cash, he heard his bedroom door open.

His grandmother questioned him on why he needed money in such a hurry that he needed to 'break the bank'. He couldn't tell her the real reason, so told her he was being bullied.

"But you can't give in to bullies, today you're giving them how much?".

"Err, about £12"

"Well, next week they'll want the same again, or even more". So, in the end he had to admit what is going on.

Grandmother thought for a while, then said. "Right, here's what we do. You pay me the money, I'll teach you about sex. You'll be able to tell your friends what you've learned, and I will have had my first sex since your grandfather died".

Over the next few weeks (and for further payments) the pair had sex. Until one day his father tumbled to his son's poverty and his own mother's newfound wealth". He challenged the boy, who was ultimately forced to admit what had been going on.

His father was so disgusted that he found it hard even to get the words out. "So .. so you .. ... you fùcked my mother !?!?!".

"So what" says the boy "you fùcked mine!".


Enough Whiffler family history :oops:
 
#20
What's green and smells of pork?
Kermit's fingers
 

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