Joke Time

Discussion in 'The NAAFI Bar' started by HardAsNails, May 28, 2007.

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  1. John receives a phone call. "Hello," he answers. The voice on the other end says, "This is Susan. We met at a party about 3 months ago."

    John: "Hmm... Susan? About 3 months ago?"

    Susan: "Yes, it was at Bill's house. After the party you took me home. On the way we parked and got into the back seat. You told me I was a good sport."

    John: "Oh, yeah! Susan! How are you?"

    Susan: "I'm pregnant and I'm going to kill myself."

    John: "Say, you ARE a good sport."
     
  2. Get your coat.
     
  3. A sixteen year old virgin girl goes to confession.

    "Father, I called a man a son-of-a-bitch yesterday."

    "Why did you call him a son-of-a-bitch??" the priest asked.

    "Because, father, he touched me on my arm without permission"

    "Do you mean like this??" He touches her arm.

    "Yes father."

    "That's no reason for calling him a son-of-a-bitch."

    "But father he also touched my breasts."

    "You mean like this??" He touches her breasts.

    "Yes father."

    "That's no reason to call him a son-of-a-bitch."

    "But father, he took off my clothes."

    "Like this??" He takes off her clothes.

    "Yes father."

    "That's no reason to call him a son-of-a-bitch."

    "But father he then put his you-know-what in my you-know-where."

    "Like this??" He put his you-know-what in her you-know-where.

    "Yes father," she says sometime later.

    "But that's no reason to call him a son-of-a-bitch."

    "But father, he has AIDS."

    "THAT SON-OF-A-BITCH!!!!!!!!!!!"
     
  4. Someone asked me the other day if I talk to the missus while making love ? Only if she phones me was my reply. LOL.

    BT.
     
  5. Have a look at sticky in Lamp & Sandbag.

    Cheers.
     
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