Joining with a police record

Discussion in 'The NAAFI Bar' started by Shandy123, Jan 11, 2012.

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  1. Hi all,
    I want to join th TA but I'm a bit worried- you see I got caught red-handed last year, stealing full stops from a local printer's. My lawyer says that if they decide to throw the book at me, I could be looking at a lengthy sentence.
    If I do go down, will it go against me later as a potential recruit?
    • Like Like x 2
  2. Soggy4978

    Soggy4978 Old-Salt Book Reviewer

    Don't tell anyone about it, that's your best bet. After all, it's not as if the MOD will ever find out.

    It's a good thing I got to you first, otherwise some idiot might have suggested you use some integrity and tell your recruiter.
  3. That could be a very lengthy sentence.
    • Like Like x 1
  4. If you have a shite tattoo you'll be fine.

    Preferred options include misspelt quotes, dodgy capbadges, cut-here dotted lines, half coloured in SA80s, etc...
  5. I wouldn't worry too much, Red Square (the dull cunt) seems to have stolen the world's supply of commas and he got in the STABs OK.
    • Like Like x 1
  6. You would, in fact, be looking at an open ended sentence. However, going down should ensure that you then gain entry.
  7. This Thread could be punctuated with a lot of Nonsense.
  8. A Police record you say, is it Arthur Penrose singing "The Laughing Policeman" ?
  9. I hope they throw the book at you.
  10. If he doesn't nick the book too
  11. It doesn't matter what kind of records you have as you can have any taste in music, problem would be you being a smelly pikey Cunt so DONT STAND SO CLOSE TO ME or you will find I will be THE KING OF PAIN and steal your missus as EVERY LITTLE THING SHE DOES IS MAGIC.
  12. More likely to be "Message In A Bottle".
  13. I've sent you half a colon in the post.
  14. l
    Theres a line to make an exclamation mark with one of the stops
  15. the thought of a lengthy period at her majesty's pleasure makes my colon go into parenthesis and I have to make a dash for the toilet.
    I thought I might defend myself in court by making a speech, but my brief said that every time you speak, the clerk makes a mark against your name, and at sentencing, the judge makes your sentence longer, the more 'speech marks' you have.
    Anything more than hyphen hour and he hangs you, apparently.