Joining with a police record

#1
Hi all,
I want to join th TA but I'm a bit worried- you see I got caught red-handed last year, stealing full stops from a local printer's. My lawyer says that if they decide to throw the book at me, I could be looking at a lengthy sentence.
If I do go down, will it go against me later as a potential recruit?
 

Soggy4978

Old-Salt
Book Reviewer
#2
Don't tell anyone about it, that's your best bet. After all, it's not as if the MOD will ever find out.

It's a good thing I got to you first, otherwise some idiot might have suggested you use some integrity and tell your recruiter.
 
#4
If you have a shite tattoo you'll be fine.

Preferred options include misspelt quotes, dodgy capbadges, cut-here dotted lines, half coloured in SA80s, etc...
 
#6
You would, in fact, be looking at an open ended sentence. However, going down should ensure that you then gain entry.
 
#8
A Police record you say, is it Arthur Penrose singing "The Laughing Policeman" ?
 
#11
It doesn't matter what kind of records you have as you can have any taste in music, problem would be you being a smelly pikey Cunt so DONT STAND SO CLOSE TO ME or you will find I will be THE KING OF PAIN and steal your missus as EVERY LITTLE THING SHE DOES IS MAGIC.
 
#13
I've sent you half a colon in the post.
 
#15
the thought of a lengthy period at her majesty's pleasure makes my colon go into parenthesis and I have to make a dash for the toilet.
I thought I might defend myself in court by making a speech, but my brief said that every time you speak, the clerk makes a mark against your name, and at sentencing, the judge makes your sentence longer, the more 'speech marks' you have.
Anything more than hyphen hour and he hangs you, apparently.
Help.
 
#17
Hi all,
I want to join th TA but I'm a bit worried- you see I got caught red-handed last year, stealing full stops from a local printer's. My lawyer says that if they decide to throw the book at me, I could be looking at a lengthy sentence.
If I do go down, will it go against me later as a potential recruit?
You werent one of the rioters from last summer were you? Thieving bastard!
And yes, be prepared to go to jail sunny, they are still sentencing people now for theft offences. Id put the TA idea on hold for now. Good luck.
 
#18
It doesn't matter what kind of records you have as you can have any taste in music, problem would be you being a smelly pikey Cunt so DONT STAND SO CLOSE TO ME or you will find I will be THE KING OF PAIN and steal your missus as EVERY LITTLE THING SHE DOES IS MAGIC.
I came on here hoping to speak to a recruiter, but all I get is some cadet wannabe who starts off with what looks like a supportive message, but then there's a Sting in the tail, isn't there.
Well fuck you all!
 
#19
Just realised, this is a 'joke ' thread. Of all the places to nick from, he chose a printers where he stole 'full stops' .And his solicitor said he may get a lenghty 'sentence'. My god, he made a funny.Time for bed now.
 
#20
Got one!
Pass me my landing net, someone.
 

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