Joining up..........

Discussion in 'Officers' started by HH_2, Apr 2, 2007.

Welcome to the Army Rumour Service, ARRSE

The UK's largest and busiest UNofficial military website.

The heart of the site is the forum area, including:

  1. Mate, by virtue of the fact that you're in the "upper sixth" you're clearly at a proper school. Do you not have a career advisor, House Master or even Head Master who can explain to your folks the benefits of a career in the Army as experienced by recent ex-pupils? Maybe it's got something to do with your old man's experience?

    As far as the chicks go - if they're not interested in a young chap who's keen on furthering himself and joining a good old Regiment (unless of course you told her you want to join the RLC or QLR) then poke them in the eye and walk away. There's plenty more where they come from! Uni and a Subbies life ahead of you - lucky bugger!!
     
  2. Well said, Ozduke. It's a sad fact that there are so very few people left who really understand what we do. If you get the "babykiller" response then they really are not worth bothering with - anyone that ignorant and closed minded would not an intelectually stimulating partner make.

    Good luck to you, HH-2. I'm a mere sprog of 16 years commissioned service but don't regret one of them.
     

  3. Well I would like to think I go to a reasonable school. However the senior management is rather too wet lefty for my tastes. The Headmaster would love nothing more than to abolish the CCF, he can't stand it.

    Possibly one person I might manage to get to speak to parents, he is in the TA.

    It's not as though I don't have a history of service in family.......Dad was RAF, Uncle was Royal Engineers, aunt was in the Wrens, one Grandad army driver during WWII, other served in the Royal artillery in the Burma campaign, Mums grandad Royal naval air service, other might have been Devon and dorsets light infantry.

    Possibly my grandad on mums side seriously influenced mums attitude, didn't talk much about Burma much but what he did say wasn't too pleasent.

    I will crack on regardless, just shakes your faith a bit when everyone seems to be dismissive of the armed forces. No wonder the public don't seem to give a shit about the way the government treats the army.
     
  4. Evening Gentlemen,

    Just thought I'd add my words at half eleven on a Monday night. I want to join the armed forces as an officer and my father didn't really mind, but my mother, as all mothers are entitled to, was and probably is still scared of one of her sons going off to fight. And of course there is no denying that you probably will, at some stage go to war and be under the risk of attack, injury and death. What I did was to sit my mother down with myself and a cup of tea and we talked about her fears and her concerns.

    You've got to be logical, you mustn't completely ignore the fact that you'll be placed, deliberatly, in danger zones becuase it's a fact, also you must not start arguemtns and stick up for the Army all the time like you ae blind to the bad side of it (and there is a bad side as there is in any job like long hours etc...). Mothers aren't stupid. It is her right to be worried and the way that you are having arguments is probably becuase she is scared of you possibly being injured or worse.

    The best thing is to talk to your ACA(O), about how to deal with it, Talk to your relatives who were in the army, talk to anyone, then talk to your mother and father and explain to them that you want to join, why you want to join, that you want to join as an officer and that you know all the facts not just the nice ones the downsides aswell. That will show them:

    a) you are determined to join as you have gone to effort to gather info
    b) that you know the pros and cons
    c) that you are a mature indiviual who has a clear goal in life and not a spide (what we call chav's here in NI) with no purpose but to get stoned and pi$$ed

    I would assume that many parents of army sons/daughters are afraid of loosing thier children and don't want them to join becuase of that. But these parents are proud of thier kids and give them their blessing.

    When I went to see my ACA(O) he told me more people in the armed forces die of Road Traffic Accidents than combat deaths- thats my final word! (by the way, that might not be true I havn't looked it up)

    Have a chat with them! Good Luck!

    -PAN
     
  5. Currently serving in Iraq I read with interest your concerns reference your parents etc. I did CCF all the way through school and I think my parents accepted that I was bound to end up in the military if they liked it or not. My old man always supported me throughout the selection process and RMAS. He always knew it was I wanted to do and therefore he wasn’t going to stop me, however still I had to have several uncomfortable chats as he voiced his concerns about the Army and operations etc. He like all parents does not want something happening to his son.

    Telling him I was going on Ops was the hardest thing I’ve ever had to tell him and his response that I was a ‘F**king idiot’ didn’t help. Having never served himself he has nothing to base my experiences on and therefore can’t understand why I would want to do what I do. However he sees what I get out of it and how I not the kind to work in the City like my brother. I know deep down he is proud of me and knows he cant stop me from doing what I want to do.

    If it’s what you really want to do then do it. Your parents are quite understandably trying to protect you. You are not alone and others like myself will have had similar issues. Trying to find somebody who can explain from first hand what life in the Army and on Ops can only help. I wish you all the best.
     
  6. It's strange that if you have always wanted to do this and your parents have always known (?), that they are now being so negative.

    It could be that they are missing the point and drawing all of their negativity from the oft adverse picture painted in the media. They might even be comparing (shock, horror) Commissioning with enlisted service and picture you as a drunken squaddie that most people think of when they think Army (like the chick who knocked you back).

    Have a chat with them - make sure you know all you need to know, good and bad about your prospective career, then you can argue both sides to them. This will also be useful for RCB (or whatever its called now).

    As for being knocked back by chicks who cringe, I agree with previous comments. They normally take this reaction if they are 1) clueless about what it involves; 2) had a bad experience with a knobber in uniform; 3) some mad feminist, pinky, vegan weirdo who you shouldn't be talking to anyway!
     


  7. I think it is because before when I talked to them about it they assumed it was just something I was toying with that wouldn't ever actually follow up, now I have started doing something about it, i.e. AOSB and FAM visits etc it's starting to dawn on them that I am actually serious about it.
     
  8. I've got the same problem, only i'm joining the TA first, then going reg after uni. I take a lot of crap from people too, but at the end of the day, ignore the detractors, if they can't understand, screw 'em. Keep your chin up mate
     
  9. Is is worth considering getting your parents to read the comments made by serving members of this site about the programme last night? As most of these comments are calling the programme inaccurate and awful. Just a thought.
     
  10. I think that parents not wanting you to go in is just that they are scared by the stuff they see on TV. They are old and have lost the invincible feel of youth. You will probably look back and understand it. I am getting the same stuff from my father, who constantly looks to discourage me having encouraged me until I got serious about it.
    The TV program was just looking for ratings, just hope some ignorant people won't take it to be a representation of the truth or what the majority of the lads get up to.
     
  11. Stick to your guns, go to Uni, complete RCB, with the attitude you appear to have I should think you will have no problem. 3-4 years down the line when the day actually comes and you have been standing on your own 2 feet for a while I imagine they will realise it was not a passing fancy and walk across Old College parade square incredibly proud and carrying your surfboard for you.

    Alternatively tell them you've no desire to be CGS but that a 3 year SSC would give you tremendous experience in leadership, organisation, influence etc. etc. with which to enter the wider job market. It doesn't necessarily need to be true, you could thrust all the way to CGS in about 2030 but it may get them off your back until you are at Sandhurst.

    Regarding girls, I would suggest that you need to be more selective in the establishment you choose..or perhaps I mean less selective. If I am right in assuming you are not looking for a deep and meaningful relationship with the future mother of your children, then if memory serves me correctly, aim for the cheesiest, least fashionable nightspot around. This is likely to be inhabited by females who have little concept or interest in the moral justification of a military career but for the price of a few cheap drinks will find the b*llsh*t you spin them very glamorous. Not that I condone that sort of behaviour of course :wink: just keep an eye out for the giveaway childrens' toys if you get back to hers.

    Good Luck
     
  12. Giveaway children's toys? You make it sound like a McDonald's Happy Meal not a bit of strange!

    My parents were anti because my father had served and then had unpleasant experiences with ex-sappers (he was a Civil Engr.) and my mother had served and was just being concerned mum. Many years later I overheard my father bragging about my being promoted to field rank...they'll come round, you however must be true to yourself.

    It is a sad fact of life that you will live longer without your parents influence or company than you do with them...don't go out of your way to hack them off but then again don't try to please them at your expense. As for dorises, if they won't follow the drum then so long, thanks for all the fish.
     
  13. Go for it! When you march off Old College Square with a Queens Commission (which looks A1 properly framed!) your c0ck will develop another 3 inches all on its own. :twisted:

    Trust me there are Sandhurst groupies and afterwards all sorts of tottie available. Your self-confidence will be about as big as the planet Jupiter and despite what people tell you, when you get to your unit the Adjutant, RSM et al are there to train you - and help you, although it may not seem like that at the time :D

    Oh how I miss it. :roll:
     
  14. Rickshaw, you're c0ck on; my pecker did extend a good three inches having marched up the steps some thirty years ago this month. Now I just count the wrinkles instead of the inches.

    You're quite right about the training one receives care of the Adjutant; mine consisted of revising for PQS retakes whist occupying the Duty Officers bunk more regularly than my fellow young officers. Equally the RSM was very patient with me! Great days - regrets have I none!

    On a serious note, young people these days are exposed to so much PC crap during their formative years; this brings increasing pressure to bear on them when it comes to making desicions regarding a military career.

    Your name, Rickshaw Major, suggests that we might have crossed paths at some stage...I was a Rickshaw but never a Major!