Joining up as a RMP, People serving as RMPs any advice?

Start on double rations as soon as you finish basic or you will make the rest of them look bad.
:x Rant On

Why do you want to join the RMP?

Why join the army if you don't want to be an actual soldier and give the Queen's enemies (and anyone who takes the p1ss out of your regiment) a good shoeing?

Or, if you have the ability, join a proper corps and learn to do something that assists those fighting the good fight and which people will appreciate.

Yes I know an army needs policing, but why on earth would anyone WANT to do it?

If you want to be a copper then join CivPol and do the job properly, chase Chavs and we'll all be cheering you from the rooftops.

Most people want to join the army to be soldiers, except the RMP who join to give soldiers a hard time!

It's just not normal, is it?

I'm sorry, but IMHO anyone who sets out wanting to be an MP should instantly be barred from becoming one.

Before I finish, ALL my experiences of the RMP in BAOR, UK and wherever else, even latterly as a civvy at the Army/Navy games, have been entirely negative.

Things may have changed and perhaps the rest of the army won't hate you from the minute you join, but then hell may have frozen over by now as well.

Rant Off :eek: , now open to enlightenment.
Yes I know, but I did flag it up as a rant, and I realise the RMP do lots of good things other than just feel superior and budgger people about, but honestly, I do despair sometimes.

I still think it's a weird ambition though.


War Hero
Micawber - you really are a dick aren't you?

Every soldier has it's role and remember soldier first - Might I remind you that the RMP goes everywhere the army goes and current climate means that we've lost quite a few of the boys and in some cases more than most other units including teeth arms.

Faceplanted, I can't answer your question as I've not been in for a while but this is the general mentality of some members of the army. People do think of you as a negative much like a child throws a tantrum when told he can't do something (Sound like anyone Micawber?). The same is viewed in civvy street with the plod - and should they really be upset unless they're doing something wrong. There are a few in the RMP who are jumped up and jobsworthy but you get that every where and in every unit.

Hopefully someone can provide you with the info you want and I wish you all the best..

And Micawber, I joined up because of the promotion speed - Or so they sold me at the AFCO


riding around kandahar airfield imposing a 10mph speed limit seems like quite a boring job to me or maybe thats just me? :p
Yes I am throwing a bit of a childish tantrum, as I hope you can tell by the way I have tried to draw the venom from it, but you see, that's what I mean:'I joined the RMP because of the promotion speed', I just think it's strange.

I joined the Infantry because I wanted to be a soldier, pretty much like anyone else.

That's what the army is about, isn't it, soldiering?


Before you pass off the square and proudly take possession of that coverted red cap, breath in deeply, chest out and stand there, smart as a carrot - you'll make your old mum proud.
As you stand there - a credit to the RMP and a finer body of men, salt of the earth and all that - if you chance a glance over to your troop sergant you may see him filling up with pride and admiration. Watch closely and you'll probably see a little tear that will be wiped away as his top lip wobbles uncontrolably.

When you do all that, may I be the first to call you a cnut?

Only joking, but you will hear it a lot when you're in.
i admire your rant as it outlines the problems i will come up against regarding attitudes, i think its a very generalized thought about the RMP mind surely its more about the character of the person? not all RMP are idiotic power mongering morons.
Regarding your comment about army being about soldiering its a tad blinkered dont you think? considering you can do almost any job within the army.
genuine thanks for your insight Micawber


War Hero
Micawber said:
Yes I am throwing a bit of a childish tantrum, as I hope you can tell by the way I have tried to draw the venom from it, but you see, that's what I mean:'I joined the RMP because of the promotion speed', I just think it's strange.

I joined the Infantry because I wanted to be a soldier, pretty much like anyone else.

That's what the army is about, isn't it, soldiering?

You really have missed the point here. Are you saying that being a Chef isn't soldiering, or intelligence analysis for your patrol isn't soldiering, or the engineers who ensure you base is built well, the VM's that maintain vehicles... Everyone has a role to perform and the RMP is part of that role.

Do you know what an RMP does on operations? It's not just grabbing little scrotes collars, they ensure smooth moovement of troops, and other peace keeping duties with the local civvies and police amongst other things.

I joined to be a soldier, I just joined the RMP as it offered quite a quick promotion (again sold as that anyhow) the oportunity to progress and a wide spectrum of purpose. You could say that I was smarter than you as I would have outranked you, been paid more and not be shot at as much and I would have still been soldiering.

I'm thiking that your so bitter as an RMP made you cry once.
Micawber said:
That's what the army is about, isn't it, soldiering?

No that is a crucial but minority activity. If you ever get a chance to go over RMP Crime Stats you ewill find that it is the main the 'soldiering' soldiers who commit the majority of the crimes. So work out who causes the RMP to exist?
delinquent thank you for your words its a start in understanding the stick i will be receiving through my training and career, im sure you get a few idiot RMP's but i gotta say on my list of things to do personality transplant isnt one!
thanks for your time and the best of luck to you


War Hero
Faceplanted - please take note of what Micawber is saying, RMP are up against people like him on a daily basis. It doen't get annoying, it is just really funny and gives us all a good laugh.

Because he was only able to scrape a BARB mark one or two higher than a Chimpanzee, he had to join the infantry. He thinks its all about being 'an infantryman', I mean, why does the army need anything else other than infantrymen?

Imagine how hungry he would get on Ops with no RLC to drive the rations to his location or to cook it for him. Imagine how lost he would be if his buddy was blown up needing expert medical care. Imagine it, 'Eh Micawber, there's an IED ahead, go and make it safe mate'. Imagine it if he shot a local (terrorist or not) on Ops and the Afghan Police took him away for some 'questioning'. Imagine if he needed to get across a river, he could just build a bridge. Imagine if he needed to get from A to B quickly, I know he could fly the helicopter.

I could go on longer but I think you get the idea. We all have an important part to play in this army, RMP included. If you like laughing at half wit comments from totally ignorant people then join us and listen to what some people will say about you just because you wear a red hat, it is funny.
FacePlanted said:
People currently serving as RMP's any advice and info regarding training and current tour duties?
thanks for your time

FP Back to your original post, rather than respond to dis-enchanted bleating from non-RMP. The training you will get is now quite robust, so keep up the fitness! it's approx 6 mths long and takes in MATTS, BOWMAN, two week exercise (Including BCCS-robust tactics & field training), Pistol/Rifle 5.56 ranges, PST (Quik cuff & Baton training along with self defence training), basic law, Police training (Investigations/interveiw/search/casefiles) then you will be tested in the mock police station for two weeks, before going through a driver training package! Then you will, as FarmerBleep says, pass off as a fully fledged NCO in the RMP.

As for tours and the like, RMP are everywhere the Army is based, mainly Germany & UK, also go on Operational tours with evey deployed formation! Pan-Balkans, Afghan, Iraq etc. Whatever RMP Company you join after training you will get at least one Op tour within two years!

Just a i have done several tours, working closely with the Infantry & Artillery, not all of them dislike the RMP, only the few brain dead individuals that run around in groups and constantly F**k up! usually the ones that the RMP have had to arrest for some stupid pissed up act outside a niteclub on a saturday night! Most of the "Teeth" arms are a professional bunch of lads when on Ops, and do a fantastic job. it's just the few individuals that ruin it for the rest. As with the RMP, we also have our fair share of Cnuts but ours are more visible than others!!

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