.... [main text deleted] .... Thanks everyone for your input and they time taken to respond. Even those of you who invoke your right to be as mean as possible to anonymous people on the internet; so brave! much sad, very hurt. All I can say is... LOVE AND PEACE! Seriously though, thank you everyone for the guidance and feedback. Please be open minded and supportive of mental health. The male suicide rate in the UK is three times that of women: http://www.samaritans.org/sites/default/files/kcfinder/files/research/Samaritans Suicide Statistics Report 2014.pdf The armed forces are a high risk: http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-23259865 I hope you, or none of your family or friends ever have suicidal thoughts, if they do occur, I hope that you feel comfortable discussing them before things become desperate. I recently lost a friend. He never talked to anyone, I guess we all had a culture of 'man-up' 'skate it off' and other machismo attitudes. I wish we hadn't, the world is less awesome without him in it. To any future readers of this thread in a similar situation: My career took a different route and I'm happy where I am. Unfortunately, I have no idea if I would have been let in. There are some pretty valid concerns raised, and some trolls. Only you know what your capable of or how mentally resilient you are; breaking your mind really demonstrates where the lines are and how it all works. You have right to be angry or sad at some of the comments in this thread, or general attitudes to mental health. Those are perfectly normal emotion responses to inflammatory statements. (Look up 'Gaslighting' for further information.) You have time. Wait until you are okay, and then give yourself another year to be certain. It takes a while to drag yourself back up. Are you ready to discuss depression with anyone? If someone makes a thoughtless comment regarding depression, eating disorders, etc. are you able to calmly and rationally explain to them why it is is not okay? If you are not comfortable confronting it head on then you may not be over it and I suggest you wait. You will encounter trolls and asshats. What they say is not acceptable, but there is no way to stop them saying it. Just see how much luck XBox live has regarding the slander against my mother. Y'all take care!