Army Rumour Service

Register a free account today to become a member! Once signed in, you'll be able to participate on this site by adding your own topics and posts, as well as connect with other members through your own private inbox!

Joining the army whilst in a relationship

Vroski

Swinger
Hi guys.

quick story I’m 19 and I’ve always been fascinated by the army right from when I was a little kid and 2 years ago I applied and pulled out last minute as I didn’t think it was for me however now I’ve matured and realised what I want to do in life I’m certain the army is for me, I’m currently waiting to do my army interview brief next week howeverThe fact that I’m in a relationship and have a house together is playing in the back of my mind, I know this might come across daft to some people because I’m young however For my age I’m very mature and I know I’ll be with her for the rest of my life, but leaving her in a house alone doesn’t sit right with me, she’s fully supported me on applying however just looking for some reassurance and to put my mind at ease if anyone has tips or advice from similar situations?
 
I applied for The Rifles the other night, and my girlfriend broke up with me 2 hours ago because of it. If you want to go in while you've got a burd, she is first and foremost the person you need to talk to about it. If she loves you, I'm sure she'll support you in your decision to join, mate.
 
"I know I'll be with her for the rest of my life"

Something l and all the other divorcees on here once thought about our respective partners!
 
Hi guys.

quick story I’m 19 and I’ve always been fascinated by the army right from when I was a little kid and 2 years ago I applied and pulled out last minute as I didn’t think it was for me however now I’ve matured and realised what I want to do in life I’m certain the army is for me, I’m currently waiting to do my army interview brief next week howeverThe fact that I’m in a relationship and have a house together is playing in the back of my mind, I know this might come across daft to some people because I’m young however For my age I’m very mature and I know I’ll be with her for the rest of my life, but leaving her in a house alone doesn’t sit right with me, she’s fully supported me on applying however just looking for some reassurance and to put my mind at ease if anyone has tips or advice from similar situations?
Remember " A dog is for life" not a wife.
 
Consider building a patio.

Just leave a patch where the paving stones are not bedded in properly. How tall is she? Six foot by two, perhaps three, will be enough. The slabs can be permanently bedded in after you've done it at a later date. After a couple of months' weathering, nosey relatives/the police nobody will be able to tell the difference. (But there's no accounting for those annoying sniffer dogs, unfortunately.)

A common newbie mistake is to pick a spot too close to existing drains or other infrastructure. Don't be that man. Plan ahead!
 
Hi guys.

quick story I’m 19 and I’ve always been fascinated by the army right from when I was a little kid and 2 years ago I applied and pulled out last minute as I didn’t think it was for me however now I’ve matured and realised what I want to do in life I’m certain the army is for me, I’m currently waiting to do my army interview brief next week howeverThe fact that I’m in a relationship and have a house together is playing in the back of my mind, I know this might come across daft to some people because I’m young however For my age I’m very mature and I know I’ll be with her for the rest of my life, but leaving her in a house alone doesn’t sit right with me, she’s fully supported me on applying however just looking for some reassurance and to put my mind at ease if anyone has tips or advice from similar situations?
You need to talk about how you're going to roll.

First up. The M word. Want a quarter, marry. No other option. There are a lot of plus points that protect her. In the meantime you can write a simple will and ensure she's your next of kin. Non of this 'mum will sort it all out' b*llocks.

Before you say you're not ready or it's too expensive, you have a house and it's cheaper than many think.

You're going to have to be apart for training regardless. You can get a quarter of your phase 2 course is six months or over.

After that I'd say ensure she's briefed too. Take her to an open day if you can, get her on here (plenty of pads wifes or married soldiers) and ask questions.

You may decide you want to keep your military and civvie life apart. Plenty of blokes do that and Skype etc help now. Factor in exercise and ops. If you're smashing out foreign trips then it doesn't matter where she is. I was married unaccompanied for the last five years of service and it wasn't too bad considering.

Take into account that you may do minimum time or you may want to do the full 24. Does your Mrs want a career or is she happy doing part-time low skilljobs?

Where does she want to go in life?

Other than that travel light, keep fit, welcome to the army. You'll love it.
 
Last edited:
Don't let any 'burd' stop you doing anything you want to do, one day whether its a week or 10 years you'll despise the ground she drags her fat lazy arse across.

If you go in and it doesn't work out then it wasn't meant to be, so what? Nowadays you've got Tinder, POF and other social media, if I'd have had all that at 19 I'd have swept up. Not that I didn't, but it would have been much easier.

If you don't go in, and you split up you'll hold it against her.

Just go in the reserves then, every ones a winner baby.
 
I applied for The Rifles the other night, and my girlfriend broke up with me 2 hours ago because of it. If you want to go in while you've got a burd, she is first and foremost the person you need to talk to about it. If she loves you, I'm sure she'll support you in your decision to join, mate.
Don't worry about it.

Just make sure she sees a picture of you looking ally with a better model hanging off your arm.
 

Zulu_w

Old-Salt
I was that 19 year old. We stayed together, even got married, had two kids.

My advice. Don't!!!!!

Join the army by all means but be unemcumbered.

I got through but it was bloody hard work with part of my attention always somewhere else.

Needless to say divorced many moons ago. We were both too young and military life with its customs and constraints never worked for my now ex wife.

I am sure that for some this has worked out, but I can say with reasonable confidence that I did not see this in the time that I was in amongst those couples that I knew.
 
I applied for The Rifles the other night, and my girlfriend broke up with me 2 hours ago because of it. If you want to go in while you've got a burd, she is first and foremost the person you need to talk to about it. If she loves you, I'm sure she'll support you in your decision to join, mate.

Would you still be together if you had applied for something else?

To be fair mate, The Rifles shows a distinct lack of ambition
 
Laugh at the p*ss takes above and listen to the advice. What I would say is, she and you need to be prepared for separation. I did 22 years, I was married for 19 of that, I still am married to the same woman, I am lucky (some might not see it that way) I am the exception not the rule, the vast majority of army marriages fail. The reasons are varied, but a big part of it is the separation, we added it up and when we considered Ops & tours, training, courses and exercise, in 19 years i was away a full 7 years, including a whole year in Bosnia. If you have kids you will miss milestones, I missed my daughter walking, her first day at school, a good few birthdays and 2 Christmases, as a toddler she also called any guy in uniform Daddy!
My advise to you is only do this if you know your relationship is really strong or you want the Army more than your Mrs. I wanted the Army from a very young age, I only wanted my Mrs from aged 20. I was prepared to loose her if need be as the Army was my life, when it was done though, it was done. I have very little to do with it now, Arrse being one exception, and my Mrs. got to choose her career when we got out and I promised to follow her rather than the other way around. Your Mrs. needs to understand she will be serving too, but without the perks.
 
Last edited:
When I joined, infantry battalions would generally move around every 2-5 years . So quite difficult for a spouse to make a career if she wanted one. As I understand it, people in other units, move around as individuals. But I’ve been out a while now.
Do infantry battalions now stay put, ie they have fixed postings? That way you have a place to make home and spouses can make a career for themselves.
 

Vroski

Swinger
You need to talk about how you're going to roll.

First up. The M word. Want a quarter, marry. No other option. There are a lot of plus points that protect her. In the meantime you can write a simple will and ensure she's your next of kin. Non of this 'mum will sort it all out' b*llocks.

Before you say you're not ready or it's too expensive, you have a house and it's cheaper than many think.

You're going to have to be apart for training regardless. You can get a quarter of your phase 2 course is six months or over.

After that I'd say ensure she's briefed too. Take her to an open day if you can, get her on here (plenty of pads wifes or married soldiers) and ask questions.

You may decide you want to keep your military and civvie life apart. Plenty of blokes do that and Skype etc help now. Factor in exercise and ops. If you're smashing out foreign trips then it doesn't matter where she is. I was married unaccompanied for the last five years of service and it wasn't too bad considering.

Take into account that you may do minimum time or you may want to do the full 24. Does your Mrs want a career or is she happy doing part-time low skilljobs?

Where does she want to go in life?

Other than that travel light, keep fit, welcome to the army. You'll love it.
Hi thanks for the feedback, I have had a lot of thinking about it and I know
It’s just a case of getting on with it and if it’s right it’s right, she wants to be in police
Force she’s currently at uni so another force career, maybe it will workout but I feel I’d be stupid to give up on it
 
Hi thanks for the feedback, I have had a lot of thinking about it and I know
It’s just a case of getting on with it and if it’s right it’s right, she wants to be in police
Force she’s currently at uni so another force career, maybe it will workout but I feel I’d be stupid to give up on it
That almost guaranteed separate living.

But I know folk who have done it. She left police for kids and then went back in just as he left after 22.

What are you looking at joining? You may get a posting nearby.

Good news is she can move around with the forces by joining different police forces.

As above, have you thought about the reserves? Have a look. Might be a good mix or maybe do minimum time in the forces, enjoy it and then join reserves.
 
Hi thanks for the feedback, I have had a lot of thinking about it and I know
It’s just a case of getting on with it and if it’s right it’s right, she wants to be in police
Force she’s currently at uni so another force career, maybe it will workout but I feel I’d be stupid to give up on it

Good luck but statistics say it won’t work.

There are exceptions that prove the rule but they stand out because they’re exceptional.

If you’re set on an Army career then do it. But expect the relationship to fail. Plan on it. If it doesn’t then you’re one of the exceptions.

If she’s telling you not to do it, then bun her immediately because in 10 years you’ll just resent her

Try the reserves first to see if it’s what you want.

But, and I’m amazed that nobody has already asked this, but are there any pics of this policewoman?

And does she have her own handcuffs yet?
 

Latest Threads

Top