Joining as an officer with a young family

Discussion in 'Join the Army - Regular Officer Recruiting' started by Ash 89, Jul 21, 2013.

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  1. Hi, I'm a 24 year old female, married with two children. I've recently completed my application to join up as an officer and am waiting on an interview. I'm not really sure what I'd like to do if I am successful. I have looked into Medical Service Officer and Int Officer however just to make things more complicated, my husband is in the army too but as a soldier. Obviously there are no guarantees as to where I would get based etc and I would be "a soldier first" but I would like some info on how we would be dealt with as a family. I have tried asking such questions on the army jobs website but haven't really got anywhere with them. Could anyone shed some light on this situation please? I don't need any sarcastic comments so please don't feel the need to give me any. I am genuinely trying to find out information on how best to approach this situation.
  2. All sounds very tricky. Sorry. Can't imagine how it would work ...
  3. If you are accepted, the best option would be to have your old man retire from the green baggy skin and become a househusband. You as an officer would be entitled to a better standard quarter and you could pay him to iron your kit and bull your boots.
    Hope this helps
  4. Hahaha yeah we've already discussed him being a house husband! This would be a worse case scenario I think, as he does love his job and I would never ask him to leave it. No one really has an answer to my really specific questions which I understand are just that, really specific! However, I do need some answers and I have no idea who has these answers. I don't really want to just suck it and see...I have my family to think about so I would rather find out things now rather than when it is too late to do anything about it. :frustrated:
  5. I have known cases where an officer and an OR have been married but it's obviously not common. In both cases there were no children involved and the officer and soldier concerned were posted to different units. I left in 97 so things may have progressed a lot since then.
    There must be an AGAI or equivalent instruction for service personnel who are married with children and both serving.
    Get hubby to ask his Regt Admin Officer.
  6. Yeah that's a good idea, I'll ask him to do that. Do you think our welfare would be any help to us?
  7. No, things have regressed terribly since '97 with 'common' being a key factor.
  8. Two lads in my Sandhurst platoon joined with young familes (one had 2 toddlers at the start and one had a brand new baby during the course!). It was ******* hard work for those guys I can tell you. I've got no idea how they managed it, I found getting through sandhurst to be bloody hard work and all I had to worry about was myself. It will test your relationship to the extreme, I can guarantee that now. Everyone else will have their weekends off and be out on the piss or catching up on sleeping, you'll be looking after the kids! It made their lives very hard, but they got through it.

    However the added dimension for you is having a husband in the army, so I guess childcare then becomes very difficult etc. The guys I know moved into married quarters with their missuses and families as soon as they started troopies courses' and then at whatever unit they were subsequently posted to. This was with civvy wives so you'd have to worry about getting hubbies posting sorted to be near you, bearing in mind him being an OR may affect how you can be posted in. No idea what the rules would be about bringing a JNCO or Pte soldier as a guest to dinner nights at the mess etc would be if they worked in the same camp. I'd say none of the problems are insurmountable, but joining as a YO is a difficult and challenging process and demands a huge amount of your time and life in the first few years of service, even for a single person. You want to think long and hard about which is the priority in your life, I'd venture to suggest, before you commit to this.

    Just the world as I see it I guess.
    • Like Like x 2
  9. It's not something I am going to take lightly and that is why I am trying to get all the answers to my questions sooner rather than later. I know the situation is complicated and is obviously not very common so it's going to be really hard to get the actual answers, rather than just speculation. Just something to add to the complication-we currently are based in Germany. My family come first and they always will however, I'm not just a mum and an army wife, I'm a person who is wasting away over here in a dead end job which I do to get out the house. I'm not challenged, I'm not paid well and I'm not happy but at the moment I don't really have much choice as we are in Germany. The battalion will be moving in 2015 which I hope will make some things easier. It is something that we have thought long and hard about and I hope that we manage to get some answers soon.
  10. Is that what they call families officers these days?
  11. Yeah welfare are families officers
  12. Then welfare/familes/RAO should be able to give general guidance. The rest will depend on what job and cap badge your old man is, and what choices you make.
  13. TBH it sounds like a total nightmare to me. Sorry and all that. You are presenting the Army with a whole list of problems that I, for one, do not believe can be adequately dealt with. As a YO you will be run around from arm'ole to breakfast time just being a YO. I cannot speak for the current Intelligence Corps as I left it many years ago, but I have to say that had I been part of the selection process I would not countenance you joining the Int Corps as I knew it.

    If I sound like a total downer, that's because I'm incapable of understanding why you have taken the decisions you have made. There are so many what-ifs to this scenario - YOU might be shipped out on a 6-month tour, and so might your husband - somewhere else. What happens to your young children then?

    I can't believe you really have thought through all the ramifications of this life-plot.

  14. Brotherton Lad

    Brotherton Lad LE Reviewer

    It's certainly a tricky one. My wife and I stagged on as serving officers with several pre-school children for about 5 years. You're not guaranteed to be posted in the same location, though the Army will do its best. You may go away on a 6 month tour. In our case, circumstances led me to retire after 22 years and become a house-husband, thus doing away with all the possible dramas.

    You have the added complication of being at the start of your career and being married to a soldier. It's not impossible, but it will be very testing for you both. Good luck with it.
  15. Ok you've got a fair point and I welcome opinions. I have already submitted my application which states I am married to a soldier and I have two young children, which has been approved. If the army did thought that I was too much of a risk or whatever then I would have thought they would not have invited me to an interview? I have inquired about us being deployed at the same time which I have been informed that only one of us at any time can be "away from home". As I said before I am open to any cap badge at the moment and have not made a proper decision about that, I have only been leaning more towards a few. I know it sounds like a nightmare, and it probably is to most people but I am trying to make some sense of it all and make a proper decision without it all being "ifs and buts".
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