Joining as a Petroleum Operator (Pet Op) RLC

Discussion in 'RLC' started by BPS666, Jul 21, 2010.

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  1. Following on from other posters excellent attempt at trying to curb the amount of threads started by individuals trying to glean the inside knowledge on the AT trade, I have decide that I am sick to death with the thousands upon thousands of posts about how to become a Pet Op. I won't even get into how many times an hour I have to delete the entire contents of my PM folder.

    After passing CMSR at one of the phase 1 trg establishments you will join phase 2 trg at Festermoors in Dorshit. The course itself is 9 weeks long and consists of learnering a shit load of stuff that is neither relevent nor applicable to the trade as it stands today. You will be using equipment that in some cases is older than your grandparents and you are expected to retain **** all information by the end of the course, because you will have to re-learn it all (properly)when you get to your unit. There is no final exam encompassing the whole course so don't worry about what you were taught in week one. The answers are all 'guessomatic' and you should piss the course with minimal effort because we train in as oppose to fail out. Don't worry if you don't have the required GTI score because DCLPA couldn't give a **** who gets loaded onto the course because the instructors are there to get you through regardless of the fact that you can count to radish on all your arms. The answers to the exam are as follows:

    Multi guess: A, B, A, C, D, D, 74 pence, A, B, D, D, Badgers, A, D, D, 20 Regal king size, A, D, D

    Missing word: Petrol, Diesel, Divers, Petrol, Avtur, Avtur, Avtur, Smoking, washing, Avtur, sunshine

    Long Answer: Petrol should not be drunked by the pieandears during jerrican filling because it makes them sick.

    You will then join one of the various Regiments in RLC land where you will be misemployed and never touch the 50 year old equipment that you have now forgotten how to use. Your class 2 will be gifted to you in a xmas cracker.

    As a class 2 you can expect nothing apart from marching up and down the ******* square at Buck Palace and walking up and down the ******* line in Cyprus because you can. You need to understand that the people who are doing the job you joined up to do are civilians (ex Pet Ops) and they get paid silly sums of money by the government to do it!

    You should now complete your class one course which is 6 weeks long and if you haven't remembered everything that you have forgot and never practiced you won't get on the course unless you fail the 'in test' with a percentage of 0 - 59% (pass mark 60%) in which case you will be taken onto the course 'at risk'. You can then just tell the instructor that you have learning difficulties and sit back as he has to prepare seperate learning plans for you. The format for the final exam is slightly different as you will be tested in the field on your ability to implement a plan. Just do as the instructor tells you and sit back - piece of piss!!!!

    You should now be looking at your full screw and will have picked up a few habits that will ease your transition into the Sgts' Mess. These may include some or all of the following traits:

    Being a 'yes' man (this will get you promoted way beyond your actual ability)
    Fat (no bar to promotion and a gateway to the instructional jobs)
    Over confident of your own ability
    The ability to spin yarns about events that you were neither witness to, nor present at.

    Your SNCO Pet Course will fill any shortfall in the above requirement and will further your education by bestowing the MSc in Backstabbing (this award counts towards the foundation degree in frontstabbing)

    Following successful qualification as a fully trained Petroleum Operator RLC you can look forward to exciting and fulfilling jobs in:

    Petroleum Inspectyourpants
    Defence Petroleum School

    Further postings are available in:

    Pantmando Logistic Regt RM
    Chairborne Forces

    Normal postings include:

    7, 8,10,27 Vegiments RLC (watch this space!)



    You can be expected to occasionally put on some desert combats and wonder what the **** you are doing pissing about with fuel in 60 degree heat.

    Other than that - there are no courses for class 3 for a while so don't bother applying.
  2. I have just filled up my volvo. Am I a petroleum operator? I would hazzard that the answer is yes.

    edited to add, my wife filled up her car yesterday - i take it she is one too.
  3. If you were ******* your wife whilst smoking a fag and filling up your vulva then you are indeed a pet op. Report very quickly to your RAO dept and demand that you are moved to the higher band pay scale and then mention to your OC that your best mate is ******* shit at his job. If however you weren't filling up the vulva whilst filling up the wife then I'm afraid you are just a trog and might be interested in completing a BFCV course. (the answers are the same on the final exam apart from Badger which should recieve an insert of "curly hair" in its place). I suspect the latter may be the case.
  4. The sad thing is knowing exactly what BPS is hitting at in his, as usual, funny as hell post, he is so close to the truth more than you realise!
    The only thing he missed out is on the Class 1 course as well as trying to pass that stupid in-test, you have to now bring some full gristle pies from Mrs Miggin's Pie Shop for the Instructor! Guaranteed pass!