Johnny Morris, Johnny Ball or Tony Hart?

Discussion in 'Now That's What I Call NAAFI Bar' started by The-Lord-Flasheart, Oct 9, 2007.

Welcome to the Army Rumour Service, ARRSE

The UK's largest and busiest UNofficial military website.

The heart of the site is the forum area, including:

  1. Tony Hart

  2. Johnny Ball

  3. John Noakes

  4. Johnny Morris

  1. Ok, just had a chat with mdn and we were deliberating who was the best.

    Today, kids TV presenters are effeminate, metrosexual nonces who are responsible for making kids softy walters interested in nothing more than fashion and the X Factor.

    In the 70's and 80's, we had real role models such as John Noakes, Johnny Ball and Johnny Morris (who by all accounts used to spend £500 a week on dirty call girls and Columbian marching powder).

    Heady innocent days when the presenters taught you how to scale a 1000' wall with nothing more than the innards from a cat, how to build a sniper rifle from a few odds and sods in the garage and how to effectively communicate with an Elephant.

    Do any of the homfem presenters match up to yesteryears boys own hero presenters?
  2. Christopher Trace and Valerie Singleton - the only reason I didnt run away from home was the thought of missing Blue Peter!!
    • Like Like x 1
  3. Tony Hart was an SS officer in charge of training blue eyed blonde recruits. You didn't cross that that cnut or you'd get turned into a 6 inch tall platescine morph.

    John Noakes was a cnut that crashed a bobsleigh and cried, he isn't hard, he is gay, A true bobgod would have dusted the ice of his lycra, filled his pants and gone down again.

  4. He didnt cry. He broke his neck, manned the feck up and completed the commando course the next day.

    Tony Hart was indeed an SS officer. He also invented Lego (a little known fact).
  5. He did cry and was stretchered off, he is listed incorrectly amongst the other men of men.

    He worshipped that manky dog and looked crap in lycra.
  6. im impressed vision on now takes on a whole new light ,,
    tony hart not only invented lego he was hero.
  7. Speaking of incorrectly listed. Wasn't Johnny Morris famed for fiddling with animals but getting away with it by making it seem as though they were saying they loved it?
    • Like Like x 2
  8. and then got back on his little tray thing.
  9. I always wondered why Tony Hart kept holding his right arm down. Perhaps he was trying to chuck up a salute a la Dr Strangelove? Johnny Ball was the best. He was a clever f*cker and funny with it.

  10. He is not listed incorrectly. He is a worthy nominee. You'll see he is currently joint second in the poll. Unlike Sturmbannführer Tony Hart whom you begged me to add....

    Never saw Tony Hart climb up Nelsons Column using an old Ford Anglia tow rope did you?
  11. I said Bobsleigh, not skeleton or Cresta or luge....... penis.

    Any old Dale winton can do those, only a hetero lovescud can Bobsleigh.

    Johnny Morris and Tony Hart form the SS team that won gold (albeit at Luger point) at the 1940 St Moritz winter Olympics.
    • Like Like x 1
  12. It's a little known fact that Johnny Balls "think of a number" show was derived from his time as a camp guard for Der fuhrer...

    He would simply state these words to a line of prisoners, and for instance if the prisoner had said
    "funf obergruppenfuhrer"

    he would walk down the line and cap every fifth prisoner.... for a laugh.
    • Like Like x 2
  13. No, he tasked a fleet of Dorniers and Hienkels to flatten it as he was busy having sex with three strippers on top of Kaiser Bills Denkmal

  14. What? You mean dress up like Freddy Mercury, utilise gravity and slide down a half tube in a stripped out Sinclair C5 for 1200m pretty much doing nothing but act as ballast?

    An egg and spoon race is harder you tubestick.
  15. John Noakes, definitely! Went everywhere and did everything and all in a sensible checked shirt. OK, no connection to the Third Reich (that I can discover) and fair one he did blub like a girly when his mutt snuffed it, but look at the competition:

    Johnny Morris: animal tamperer and crap ventriloquist. That poor bloody koala must have had a hand up it more times than Sooty.

    Johnny Ball: Think of a Number? How about the number of times I could twat him with a track pin before getting sick of it? And he sired that moose Zoe. No excuse for that, IMO.

    Tony Hart: Fair play to the Standartenfuhrer, but I could never forgive him for not showing us how to make one of those 'special' lampshades. And Morph just got on my tits.