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John Travolta or Dad dancing.


My confession. My mates and I bought this DVD and learned all the "moves" to it and danced to it in Louies' in Catterick. We didn't care. So there.

My family say that I dance like a puppet with a pisse''d operator
The cheeky so and sos. I think that - just a personal opinion, you understand, that you should see if they have the same opinion of your disco moves after you've waterboarded 'em for a couple of minutes.
No need to go over the top with it. They are family after all.
Alternatively, I'm such a brilliant dancer that I could teach even Shrek to move like Michael Jackson. I offer very cheap rates as well.

References are available on request.

This is dancing.

It's actually a precursor to snorting some quality gear just before climbing aboard a brother's magnificent pole.

Queefy beyond belief.


You two are dead to me now. Dead to me.

Any "slowies" will always be accompanied by the alcopop-fuelled whining noise of "But it's my favourite, we haven't danced all night, I thought you loved me" before the lucky lucky chap gets to hold up his half-comatose girlfriend/wife on the dance floor, nodding sympathetically at his mates who have also been suckered.

Or maybe you lot don't go to the same sort of parties I go to.

Quite right. Quick grope, suspender belt - check, back to the arse, G String or thong - fucking game on!
The only dance worth doing is the slow ones at the end of the evening. Gives you an opportunity to cop a feel of their arse before bonking them round the back of the disco.
I thought Guardsmen got shagged in high class clubs by the superiors... just saying like...
Erm, what dance moves?
Or does a lot of walking, gurning to camera and leaning on a chrome palm tree count?


The only dancing a bloke should do is a bop to Ray Campi or Johnny Horton.

Anything else is gay.

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